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Anyone given birth without DH there?

(18 Posts)
Chamonix1 Sat 15-Apr-17 08:15:26

Not even had my first scan yet but i realised last night that DH commutes 2 hours each way, 5 days of the week (poor man!) so the chances of him not being about when I go into labour are reasonable high, he's out of the house from 5:30am to 7:30pm mon-Friday.
He was the only person I wanted around when I had dd1. Slightly concerned that I'm going to have to get myself to hospital and possibly deliver the baby with no family support (couldn't have my mum there she is lovely but would drive me mad! And have no friends I feel close enough to share childbirth with- bit sad really!)
Has anyone got any positive stories of this? He might get back in time of course but then again he may not if baby #2 makes a swift arrival.
Can't believe I'm stressing about this now but the concept seems very scary!

cansu Sat 15-Apr-17 08:17:08

I did. It was fine. Midwife looked after me very well. Dp was there afterwards.

DirtyDancing Sat 15-Apr-17 19:56:13

Was your first incredibly swift? I would have thought (and hoped for you!) that it was unlikely that you'd go from zero to 9cm and giving birth in 2 hours. It does happen of course, but I asked my midwife about this as I about about to have no2 and she said it was rare. As long as he has his phone by his side and can leave instantly the chances of him being with you are good.

Chamonix1 Sat 15-Apr-17 20:00:02

I was in labour for about 12 hours with dd, bought on by a stretch and sweep.
Thanks for that bit of information, fingers crossed it won't be really quick !!

Pancaker Sat 15-Apr-17 20:06:19

I did, as DC1 was premature and a 4 hour labour. DH was understandably upset to miss it all but it's not as if DC1 missed him at the time which is how we dealt with it. It was still a very special moment when he arrived and I was semi-recovered and introduced him to DC1.

FlappyRose Sat 15-Apr-17 20:09:12

I did. DH was sent home when visiting time ended. I wasn't in active labour, so it wasn't a problem. Unfortunately things then happened very quickly and I had a crash c section before he could get back. Obviously he would have preferred to be there (and I would have liked him there) but at the time I had other things to worry about!

allegretto Sat 15-Apr-17 20:11:46

I had a section without dh as he wasn't allowed in. I saw him a few hours after

Redkite10a Sat 15-Apr-17 20:13:01

My husband works 1 hour 45 away. I started to get a sense things might be happening on the Wednesday when I started getting the first signs of a show. His work normally aren't flexible but given the situation they let him work from home. I went into labour just after midnight. With it being my second I found I was much more tuned in to potential signs of things were starting to move.

Is your DH's work flexible at all, can he work from home at all? Does he have enough leave to take the day off if they won't!

EffinElle Sat 15-Apr-17 20:14:44

Dd 1 father was a pissed up wastrel so I had her alone, but my friend was with me.

DanGleballs Sat 15-Apr-17 20:14:45

I did. I found out he was fucking someone else three weeks before my due date. He wanted to attend the birth and ow wanted to wait in the car park outside. So I didn't tell him I was in labour and did it by myself. I have a better bond with that child than my other two. In a weird way it was very special that it was just her and me. The lioness feeling came three fold and if anyone tried to hurt her I would have ripped them apart with my bare hands, lol.

BigGreenOlives Sat 15-Apr-17 20:16:30

DH missed all but the last 15 mins of dc3. The mid-wife, Jane C, was way better than DH would have been. Thank you!

Chamonix1 Sat 15-Apr-17 20:22:22

Redkite, they can be flexible as he contracts so can technically take as
Much time off as he wants it's all just unpaid and they may let him work from home.
I went 1 week over with dd though and the stretch and sweep bought on my labour.
He says he will get back in time etc and work from home the week before so hopefully that'll be me covered but I just have it in my head he'll miss it as this is the kind of thing that happens to me.
At least I know others have done it, when I was in established labour I couldn't have cared less who was in the room to be fair!

captainproton Sat 15-Apr-17 20:23:59

DC1 DH had to look after DSS, so only came in for last 15 mins. DC2 DH was at home looking after DC1, and I had a lovely doula who tbh was a thousand times more calming and relaxing than DH was the first time round. DC3 I had a planned home birth, it was fine and DH got to be there and the 3 elder ones slept through it all. Tbh I think once things get going instinct kicks in and you don't really care so long as the person with you is supporting you and not hindering proceedings.

Chamonix1 Sat 15-Apr-17 20:25:49

What a dick. Sorry you had that to deal with and the cheek of OW sadshock
Sounds like you had all bases covered !

dudewheresmycar Sat 15-Apr-17 20:27:20

I did. My nan was there though to look after my then 11 month old, but they ended up missing it as well due to taking a walk and things happening so quickly. I'm glad no one was there as I'm sure it was a horrible sight grin

DanGleballs Sat 15-Apr-17 21:17:58

I was 21 and had a toddler at home. Within 10 years I put myself through college and was earning more than him. I am also much richer than him as I have the love and respect of a beautiful young woman who makes me proud every day.

3littlebadgers Sat 15-Apr-17 21:32:43

I gave birth twice without him and three times with.

I actually felt stronger without him if I am honest. DH is a lovely man, very caring and nurturing, and his compassion and concern for me was lovely but it had the same result as someone making you cry with their kindness. I felt really sorry for myself.

When I was without him I was more determined and a little stronger.

soundsystem Sun 16-Apr-17 15:48:15

I did. DH was dropping DD1 at nursery (at the end of our road). He was gone for all of 15 minutes. Labour escalated rather quicker than I anticipated. Bit if a different situation from you though as I tend to zone me out in labour and I didn't particularly want/need him there either time (I didn't not want him, I was just focused on what I was doing!)

Is he able to leave work as soon as you call him? So if you call him at the first twinge and get him to meet you at the hospital, maybe?

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