Got questions about giving birth? Know what to expect and when to expect it, with the Mumsnet Pregnancy Calendar.
Can I choose?(6 Posts)
Hello. I'm 35 weeks pregnant and see my midwife in a few days. Pregnancy has been ok apart from the fact I'm on crutches due to really bad pelvic pain now. Everything else is normal. Trouble is - around 4 years ago when I was 16 I was in a dv relationship and I had an abortion at 14 weeks. I had to physically go into labour and the whole thing has scarred me since. Since 30 weeks I have had nightmares about it and it's making me ill now thinking about it, I'm terrified. I really don't want to go naturally and I don't think I can go another month losing sleep and panicking about it! I literally can't sleep at all. I know since 2012 the NHS make it so we had a choice but how easy is it to get one? I don't want to be convinced not too, I've looked into it and I know it's the best choice for me. thanks. (I'm in Scotland).
Sent from my iPhone
Can you speak to your midwife openly about your worries/fears? There may be someone she can refer you to, to discuss your worries & if you still would like a CS they can refer you to an obstetrician.
Your past experience sounds really traumatic, I hope you get some much needed help & support
You can get a cs for mental health reasons, which it sounds like this falls into but you have left it quite late. For me it took months and lots of meetings to get it approved. It really depends on your area as to how easy it will be so I would speak to your midwife as soon as possible and ask to be referred to see a consultant.
Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear about the abuse inflicted on you and how that is affecting you now. Certainly, there should be scope for offering you an elective caesarean on mental health grounds.
In terms of the practicalities: If what you're asking is "can I tell them I know the risks and I've made up my mind?", the answer is - not really. This isn't out of cruelty, but a combination of factors. One is admittedly that, as things stand, the NHS isn't really set up to offer elective CS on request on such a casual basis (I realise it isn't casual to you, it's very serious - what I mean is, on such an instant basis).
But also (and, mostly) a natural birth is something that just happens (albeit it's advisable to have professional support through it), whereas a CS is something someone else does to you. Doctors are not technicians; just performing elective caesareans is about the easiest thing an obstetrician does. Assessing you to decide, along with you, whether it's in your best interest, is more difficult, and takes time.
It's true that it is a little later in the day than this issue is normally raised, and the usual process might have to be fast-forwarded in your case. It isn't "people trying to persuade you not to" (although I see how it might come across like that), it's people being sure in their own minds that you've considered all ways of looking at it, because ultimately they're going to perform a major operation on you, and they need to know it's warranted.
It does sound like you might be someone who falls into this fairly rare category, but you need to speak to a consultant ASAP.
No you do not a have right to choose.
BUT and this is the important BUT.
Mental Health is Health.
If your anxiety is at this level this is a medical reason to seek help. Anything that means it is affecting your day to day life and ability to function means your level of anxiety qualifies for medical help.
You do not have a right to an ELCS under the NHS but you do have the right to most appropriate care for your medical conditions. This includes your mental health. This might in turn mean by default you have a right to an ELCS if its for your mental health but support for VB might equally be the most appropriate thing.
The point is, talk to someone. This is a legitimate health issue.
Yes this is being taken seriously in Scotland and there are clinics that deal with this exclusively in some places.
This newspaper article:
is about the subject.
I'm sorry you are stuffing flashback and are so upset.
A trauma such as your experience at 16 would count just as much as another mother who perhaps had a traumatic first birth story. I know 3 friends who had difficult births with their first child and opted for a C-section for their seconds. Both who have had their 2nd children now felt it was the right choice for them and they were is so much better places after the baby was born this time around. My last friend hasn't had her baby yet.
As pp have said mental health reasons are just as valid and the midwife and her team are there to look after the mother first and then the baby and they want you both happy and healthy.
Take care and don't be afraid to speak up. You are a strong women, don't forget that.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now »
Already registered? Log in with:
Please login first.