Got questions about giving birth? Know what to expect and when to expect it, with the Mumsnet Pregnancy Calendar.
First time mum! 5weeks left..NERVOUS(11 Posts)
Hi I'm new to this!.. I'm a first time mum and my due date is fast approaching..and dad honestly I am so worried/nervous/scared about child birth!! Could any one give me tips on how to prepare myself?
I was like you I dreaded child birth most of my life as my mum always used to say things like '...god help you if you ever have a baby....you could never cope with the pain (chortle, chortle). I also heard loads of horror stories that every woman going would feel obliged to pass on to me. Only one person said it's. or actually that bad and in my opinion she was right.
Turns out I had a natural labour had one paracetamol and a tiny bit of gas right at the very end.
To be fair it (labour) was nowhere as bad as I had been expecting and I was in labour for well over 24 hours. I thought about it as every pain/contraction was bringing me closer to having a baby I also tried to stay calm and keep control during my contractions. I did a beginners yoga course many years ago and somehow I remembered yoga breathing and somehow this came into my head during labour and helped me to stay calm.
If you get the chance try the birthing pool it's lovely and warm like a warm bath and it easies the pain and as a fidgeted I found it easier to move around and get into a comfortable position.
Go with an open mind and try not to worry. I wouldn't like to go through it every day but the end result is well worth it all. Just as the babies head is crowning is the worst part where you feel a burning sensation (I nearly lost it and had a wobble at that point) but it's only as things are stretching and that part doesn't last long. I had another 13 months later so it can't have been that bad.
PS I read this book by Julia Berryman as I was a first time older mum as I was so scared it really helped me focus to try and stay in control I am also needle phobic so I was scared of all the pain relief as well. Good luck it's a very special thing giving birth I would have had a football or netball team if I had started younger lol and write back and update us when you have time afterwards.
I felt similar, but here's what helped me:
1) The pain builds slowly, nothing is going to happen drastically.
2) it's nothing you can't cope with.
3) take each contraction as it comes, let it build and feel it ease. Remember they all ease off and you only have so many contractions to do.
4) pain relief is there, you can use it if you need to!
5) the birth of your baby is so amazing and just surreal you'll remember that bit forever.
6) plenty people go on and do it again. I did. Looking after the baby is really the hard bit!
I think a lot of women are fearful of childbirth because you usually only hear about the worst experiences. My labours were both very boring, straight forward, no complications, so it does happen.
As PP said it's best to go with an open mind. Whilst you might have an idea of the kind of labour you would like, you can't predict what yours will be like, so you need to accept that any birth plan needs to be flexible. For example, I was convinced I'd need every pain relief under the sun (I'm a wuss) and all I needed was gas and air. My friend was convinced she was going to have a natural birth, no pain relief etc, and ended up needing a lot of interventions for complications. You just can't plan for it.
However, your body is remarkable and will cope with whatever labour throws at it, and once you are holding your baby it will be completely forgotten.
I'd say make sure your bag is packed for the hospital and keep an open mind about giving birth, it might not go the way you think it will.
Don't listen to the people saying you won't be able to handle the pain, everyone is different. My mum said that all the time and I believed her. I went into hospital, got told I was 9cm and only took gas and air whilst giving birth. You never know what you can do.
Glad you have had lots of positive replies OP. Yes I was very organised which helped me as I was also worried I might not cope with looking after the baby again due to comments from my mum but that was also much easier than I thought.
I also had a friend who had a very exacting birth plan. I was quite vague and said I would try it first but if i needs it I would go with anything going (even though I was scared). Friend had an awful experience had lots of pain relief, wasn't able to in the water and she felt let down as due to a complicated delivery she couldn't have the natural child birth shed wanted and was dreaming of.
Sil by her own admission is a wuss. Her 1st she called the nurse and said that she j7st needed to know how much worse it would get. She was only in labour a short while. Had to call bro back. Baby born within couple hours. No epi.
She couldn't believe it. So believe in yourself. Your past has no bearing on this.
Thank you every one!! You've put my mind at rest a bit will let you know how it goes
You know what, it's fine and I had a prolonged labour, syntocin and nowt but gas and air for pain relief. Gas and air is wonderful stuff btw!!!
I saw the pain as productive - this is just what happens for me to meet my baby and although it did hurt, it didn't bother me as I was mostly excited about having my little girl.
Holding her in my arms all warm and wet for the first time was the best experience of my entire life and made all the discomforts of pregnancy, birth and the stitches (urgh) more than worth it.
You'll be fine!
Lovely and as supportive as the messages here are, it probably is worth pointing out that most people do require some pain relief in labour. It is no picnic. You will be fine, but do ask for what you need and make sure your birth plan at least in your head) references both the possibility that you won't need pain relief, and the possibility that you will.
It's fine. I gave birth for the first time less than 3 weeks ago and honestly it wasn't that bad. I was induced as well!
Obviously it's painful and hard work but for me it was nowhere near as bad as people make out. Like PP say, use the available pain relief. There are no prizes for being a hero. You wouldn't have your teeth pulled without some pain relief would you?
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now »
Already registered? Log in with:
Please login first.