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Is it really as bad as what people say?

(45 Posts)
blondehair Fri 03-Mar-17 00:57:11

Hey,

I'm 18, and am due with my first baby at the end of July. Obviously I have never been though this before so was wandering if labour is really as bad as what most people says.

I'm not looking forward to the labour, although I'm not scared about it either. I have spoken to some family members and friends that have had babies, and 99% of the time, the answer had been "it's the worst thing ever", which is putting me off quite a lot.

I've also found that some of the people I see as tougher, have found it worse. Obviously all labours are different, but I just wanted to know what everyone experiences were like.

Hoping to get some positive stories out of this too haha.

Thanks x

WannabeGilmoreGirl Fri 03-Mar-17 01:03:52

All births are different.

The labour with number 1 built up very slowly and birth took ages

Labour number 2 was quick and I didn't have pain relief

Labour number 3 was induced and was horrific.

I think it depends on the pregnancy, on how fit you are and luck.

If it was that bad women would only have 1. 🤔🙄

highinthesky Fri 03-Mar-17 01:10:37

Here's a big positive: unlike us oldies, at just 18 you'll feel your abdomen just ping back into shape straight after the birth grin

FormerlyFrikadela01 Fri 03-Mar-17 01:15:00

Most painful thing I've ever experienced bar none.

However if I was given the option to go through it again tomorrow or have toothache tomorrow I would choose child birth. In fact I'd rather give birth every day for a week than ever have toothache again. I think it's because even though it's painful you know with absolute certainty that at some point it's going to be over. Last time I had toothache I thought I'd have it forever it just felt relentless.

RedastheRose Fri 03-Mar-17 01:18:49

It obviously depends as some people have much longer labours than others so tiredness can make a big difference. I've had 2 and I would say no it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I think there are several things that help. Stay relaxed, so don't worry about the pain it is what it is. When you go into labour try and stay on your feet and active at home for as long as possible, tootle about bake cakes, iron, whatever you want to take your mind off things it helps move things along. Take a couple of paracetamol. When you get to the hospital again stay upright, they show you a bed but lying down slows things down which just tires you out as does giving birth lying on your back, stay upright lean forward onto the headboard of the bed and kneel up or whatever is comfy for you. Gas and air is great, use it. It makes you feel like you are slightly drunk and takes the edge off the pain but fades away quickly and doesn't make the baby dozy. Remember your body is doing something entirely natural so don't fight it just relax and I hope everything goes well for you.

FormerlyFrikadela01 Fri 03-Mar-17 01:23:28

I'll add too that In retrospect I think I didn't handle it all quite as well as I hoped because I wasn't mentally prepared to go from my cervix being "nowhere even close to ready" to pushing 5 hours later. Everything happened so fast that I panicked.
Next time I'm going to give Hypno birthing a try, even if all it achieves is me feeling calmer.

blondehair Fri 03-Mar-17 01:39:53

Thank you everyone for you're messages!

I just didn't really know what to expect when it comes to it. I'm glad I've heard some different things about labour.

I know I still have some months to go yet, but I had seemed to have in my head that it couldn't really get any worse. I'm glad I put this post up, because now I have time to hopefully stay calm about everything and not feel so bad and worry when it comes to it.

Thanks everyone x

ladybird69 Fri 03-Mar-17 01:58:45

It's the worst pain ever but you soon forget quite how bad it was and I've had 4!!! What really helped me was to understand what was happening to my body and how the pain was my body opening up and helping my babies on their journey through the birth canal, visualizing it opening and knowing it was Al worth it. I think it also gives you a confidence, you survived that so you're invincible😁 But on the other hand if you really can't cope with the pain, get all the help that you want, gas air, tens, epidural and c-section too, at the end of the day you don't get medals for struggling on when it's too much for you. Also try and stay calm and relaxed take in a chilled playlist. Best of luck your making me feel broody! Lol

BottomlyP0tts Fri 03-Mar-17 02:05:54

I'd take childbirth over toothache as well....

Even saying that - worst ever my cousin is very adamant she won't make a noise and the baby will just come flying out and will barely hurt.

Although I do have friends who said they find it empowering, just like taking a big poo etc...

You really can't compare!

beingsunny Fri 03-Mar-17 02:15:19

No it isn't and you should stop talking to people who have terrible birth stories, you need to be building your own knowledge and confidence that our bodies are designed for this and won't ask anything of us we can't handle.

blondehair Fri 03-Mar-17 02:32:18

I haven't really had anyone positive to talk to, so thought it would be a good idea to try and speak to new people on here. I knew everyone was different but wanted to get some other views too. I'm glad I've seen different stories on here.

I'm really looking forward becoming a mum and know that no matter what labour is like it will all be worth it in the end.

BreatheDeep Fri 03-Mar-17 02:38:12

It is painful but as it comes in waves I found it much easier to deal with than 'normal' pain. And it's a cliche but it's sort of happy pain because it means your baby is on the way and pregnancy will finally be over

OuchBollocks Fri 03-Mar-17 03:04:29

Hypnobirthing /natal hypnotherapy is excellent.

My first labour was shite but by no means the worst thing ever (surgery to pin a broken ankle was way worse)

Second time round I had a CS (yesterday) which so far has been a piece of piss smile

Being calm, well informed and mentally open minded about all the possibilities will help a lot. Being fit will also help - are there any pregnancy exercise classes eg pilates near you? - as will being young. Try not to dwell on the horror stories. Good luck.

Crispmonster1 Fri 03-Mar-17 03:06:42

No it's not. Everyone is different, every labour different. People love to dramatise it. It hurts. But it's manageable.

bummymummy77 Fri 03-Mar-17 03:10:47

For me, no. Didn't even have paracetamol. I'm speaking purely for myself here but it really wasn't that bad and was a pretty lovely experience. I wish I could do it again.

bummymummy77 Fri 03-Mar-17 03:12:10

I've had cystitis that was way worse. And toothache. And earache. Go with it. It can be a very empowering and beautiful experience.

kineticmagnetic Fri 03-Mar-17 04:19:46

Honestly, I didn't font giving birth too bad.

I think if you try keep fit and do perennial massage it can help but obviously all births are different.

Good luck!

kineticmagnetic Fri 03-Mar-17 04:20:13

*find, not font

gaaahhhh Fri 03-Mar-17 05:02:55

No it's not. Recovery time and milk coming in is though. Prepare yourself as I thought labour would be the worst bit. It's lovely having a baby though. Worth it!

Trifleorbust Fri 03-Mar-17 05:17:03

For me, yes. It was very, very painful. But it doesn't have to be. You can request pain relief if you want it, don't forget!

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder Fri 03-Mar-17 05:43:40

It is painful, yes. But it's not the worst pain I've ever experienced. And I found it easier to bear than other types of pain because it's productive, it serves a purpose. It's not like having a migraine or toothache where there is nothing to gain from having the pain. Difficult to explain but you'll understand!

I also find that my perception of time goes completely out the window. So my last labour which was 36 hours seemed to only take an afternoon.

Congratulations and good luck, OP flowers It will all be worth it!

MoonDuke Fri 03-Mar-17 05:50:10

DS1 was painful until the epidural. Then it hurt a bit but manageable.

DS2 was very very very very painful. And no pain relief. But it only lasted 2 hours (the unbearable bit).

And afterwards you forget quickly

tilleuls Fri 03-Mar-17 05:52:37

Hey,
It's very painful but it's useful to think of the pain as productive, as each contraction gets you closer to meeting your baby. I also found that the time between contractions helped a lot as you know that the pain is going to end within a certain amount of seconds so I just focused on getting through each one. I also had my mum reminding me to relax my shoulders and jaw in the breaks between contactions - it helped to ground me and remind me to breathe deeply during the pauses as well as the contractions. Personally, I wish that I hadn't worried as much about labour. It goes REALLY quickly and at the end it's so incredibly worth it.

DuggeeHugs Fri 03-Mar-17 10:32:09

Everyone is different. I had a failed induction and emergency caesarian - the induction wasn't good but the CS birth was wonderful!

BillyButtfuck Fri 03-Mar-17 10:35:07

I loved being in labour, the excitement really helped me get through the pain and I just kept thinking of who I was going through all of it for. I ended up with an emergency section after 21 hours of active labour after a non successful induction but I feel I have a really positive birthing experience. It's what you make it, I guess.

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