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My 10 weeks BABY Lara is DEAD!!! Help me understand "WHY!"

(48 Posts)
sarahallakrodriguez Thu 02-Mar-17 23:45:53

Hello,This is Sara. My baby Lara passed away on January, 27th, 2017.
I had a difficult pregnancy starting with Braxton hicks. When I went to the hospital,they said "normal". I went again because the baby was not moving. They said "Baby is ok".
I had gestational diabetes and was on diet control. Then I had high blood pressure. Inspite of taking my tables, it kept going up. I was sent to the triage many times and all they did is monitoring the baby's heart beat and saying "It was ok" then discharging me.
My midwife said that I had to give birth because I had" PRE ECLAMPSIA" .I went and they were about to discharge me. I told them my head is about to explode so they decided to keep me in the hospital. My blood pressure kept going up finally they decided to give me the 1st induction. That was November the 3rd, 2016 at 00:30. The doctor said that I might end up having brain bleeding. I asked him that I don't mind a C section.They kept monitoring the baby heart beats. Time passed and I was only 1CM open. After about 16 hours, the doctor examined me and I felt him touching the baby's head. I saw blood so I called the nurse. They said that I need another induction and asked me if I want the epidural. I agreed as I started to feel exhausted. The nurse started jumping from one screen to another. She assured that everything was under control. I asked another doctor why don't you do a C section as I did not want to take any risk. He did not reply. They started rolling me from one side to another on the bed. They said that the code is around the baby's neck.
Suddenly, a group of doctors and nurses rushed into the room. They were everywhere. I asked the nurse" How is the baby?". She said, " Her heart beats dipped. They were about 60 hb but don't worry.. things are under control!" I asked again," Why don't you go for the C section?".
I heard someone saying outside " She is a regular!" Another voice yelled," She is not!"
At last they took me to the C section. They baby did not cry and I thought that she was dead. Then they brought her over, I looked at her but I was too weak to hold her as I bled heavily. They stitched me and took Lara to the special care. They brought her to my room after 48 hours. They said that she is "OK" But she has a lack of Sodium.
After about a week, I was discharged and I asked every single nurse. "IS THE BABY OK?" They all said" YES". She was "2.150"grams.
My baby Lara never cried loudly. She had a loud breathing. She was tiny and slow in feeding. She was always asleep. I told the midwife , health visitor and the pediatrician about that. They all said "She is TINY...she is "F*&%$@ OK!!!!!"
NOW ... SHE IS DEAD!!!! OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW come that nobody noticed that she was NOT OK!!!!!

AshesandDust Fri 03-Mar-17 00:02:02

Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry your baby died. flowers
Have they explained to you why your baby Lara died?

harrypotternerd Fri 03-Mar-17 00:03:18

oh sweetheart I didn't want to leave this unanswered. There are many reasons why a baby may pass away including SIDS which in noones fault. There is a bereavement section, you might get more replies there. You can ask MNHQ to move this to there. Have they told you what the cause of death is? was there an autopsy. I am listening if you need to talk xxx

BevGoldbergsSister Fri 03-Mar-17 00:06:35

Im so so sorry, just can not imagine what you must be going through.

Can you speak to a health visitor and ask to go into the hospital and have a proper debreif of what happened? It may make it easier to understand, if not accept, what happened to Lara. flowers

PurpleDaisies Fri 03-Mar-17 00:08:43

I also send my deepest condolences. flowers

I agree a debrief might give you answers, although I fully understand it won't bring your daughter back it might help with unanswered medical questions.

Imbroglio Fri 03-Mar-17 00:09:02

So very sorry for what has happened to you and your beautiful baby.

I have no words, but a good friend found these people were really helpful. www.sands.org.uk

Lilac2727 Fri 03-Mar-17 00:12:38

Sorry to hear that. Was this a UK hospital? Sounds like they should of done a C section from the beginning. They have alot of questions they need to answer.
So sorry about your baby girl. She will always be with you. Xx

MusicToMyEars800 Fri 03-Mar-17 00:23:41

ohh you poor girl, I am so so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful baby girl Lara flowers it makes me feel devastated for you I am really hurt about this for you, I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through at this time. I wish I could help in some way, but all I can do is say if you need to talk or unload then I will be here to listen and try to give you as much support as I can. sending you love and I hope you get the answers you need.

Bluesrunthegame Fri 03-Mar-17 00:25:51

So very sorry to read what happened to you and baby Lara. I hope that you find a way through this terrible grief, and that you get some answers.

highinthesky Fri 03-Mar-17 00:26:11

(((Hugs))) I'd be going mad with grief in your position.

I hope your DP is able to offer you sensitive support.

ChortledTheLion Fri 03-Mar-17 00:26:32

I am so sorry for your loss flowers. I hope you get answers to all your questions.

littlefrog3 Fri 03-Mar-17 00:28:11

Oh no I am so sorry. I can only imagine the sorrow and pain you are feeling. flowers

I don't know what to say. Have you spoken to your doctor about getting help?

Want2bSupermum Fri 03-Mar-17 00:28:54

Keep asking questions and raise a stink about your care. I can't believe that they didn't take you in for a CS sooner.

I am so sorry you have lost your baby girl. Here in the US when you lose your baby in circumstances similar to yours they automatically assign you and your OH a grief counsellor. If you don't have one you need to ask for one. If they don't give you one demand one. They will help you work through all of this.

RubbishMantra Fri 03-Mar-17 00:45:56

Oh Sara, your poor heart. I understand the WHY. The loss and sadness screams from your post. It never really goes away, but it becomes easier to bear in time, it really does. I know that probably sounds trite to you at the moment.

I wish I could give you some magical medicine to take away the pain. I can't, but I promise you, it will get easier for you. Did you hold a funeral service for her? Would it help for you to talk about Lara to us?

esmaesmomma Fri 03-Mar-17 00:47:25

Oh darling, you poor brave lady I don't know what else to say and I do not want to come across as patronising that's the very last thing you need! someone should be held accountable for this. When did your precious dd pass? Lara sounds gorgeous what a beautiful name xxxx

sarahallakrodriguez Fri 03-Mar-17 01:19:21

Lara is still with the coroner ... They said that the postmortems might take up to three months.. I am still waiting

sarahallakrodriguez Fri 03-Mar-17 02:05:16

Thank you ladies .. Your words mean a lot to me

Trifleorbust Fri 03-Mar-17 05:14:26

So so sorry - words can't express it flowers

SlurplePurple Fri 03-Mar-17 05:18:37

I am so sorry about your beautiful baby girl sad I hope they can give you answers flowers

2017SoFarSoGood Fri 03-Mar-17 05:37:16

Oh Sarah I am so very sorry for your loss. Your pain and anger must be incredible. I hope you get answers and that you have lots of support with you. flowersflowersflowers

Mrsknackered Fri 03-Mar-17 20:18:38

If you would like to talk about Lara on here, or anything at all, please do just write.
There is always someone to listen on here.
My thoughts are with you. I am so sorry.
flowers

SecretWitch Fri 03-Mar-17 20:21:54

How very sorry I am that you lost your sweet baby. Please know I am thinking about you. There are no words for the loss and grief you are experiencing flowers

user1483387154 Fri 03-Mar-17 20:22:53

Im so very sorry for your loss. Keep asking the hospital about their actions but prepare yourself that it may have been SIDS and nothing to do with the treatment you both received.
Again I am so sorry you are having to go through this and you are in my thoughts

PossumInAPearTree Fri 03-Mar-17 20:34:16

I'm so sorry. flowers

Maybe the post Mortem will give you some answers. Was she gaining weight over the last few weeks?

RubbishMantra Sat 04-Mar-17 00:04:38

How are you today, Sara? Forgive me if I've spelled your name wrong, and it should have an H on the end.

Do you have access to therapy/counselling at all?

You've been in my thoughts today. Am willing you strength.

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