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What to do with dd during labour

(11 Posts)
MrsBellefleur Sun 19-Feb-17 12:31:47

I'm due in a few weeks with dd2, I'm wondering what will be best for dd if I go into labour during the night like I did with her.
I'm worried if I don't wake her up and let her know I'm going to hospital she will be confused and worried in the morning when she wakes up and dh and I are gone. (My mum will be coming over to watch her.)

But if I wake her up and tell her she might not go back to sleep due to worrying etc. She's nearly 4.

What did everyone else do with their first when they had subsequent children?

Obviously if I go during the day I will tell her or my mum will when she gets her rom nursery, it's just the her being asleep that has me worried!

crocodarl Sun 19-Feb-17 12:56:26

I had all 3 of mine in the middle of the night!

I had ds2 when ds1 was almost 2. The contractions started when I was reading his bedtime story. I put him to bed and we set off to the hospital an hour or so later. I never mentioed anything to him at the time - he was too little, it wouldn't have been appropriate. MiL stayed with him, she would have got him up and looked after him the next day but as it turned out DH was home before breakfast.

Had ds3 when ds1 & 2 were aged 4 & 2. Contractions started around 2am. SiL came over, I prepared & name-labelled everything she would to get the boys up & to nursery in the morning, and I did not wake them to tell them, it would have been very unhelpful for SiLas they adore her and were thrilled when they woke up and found her... if they'd known they were having a sleepover with her they would probably have wanted to party...!

So personally, my advice is, prepare your daughter for the fact that she's getting a baby sister(as I expect you already have..) and tell her in the abstract that you don't know exactly when the baby will come, but that when she does, you and daddy will have to go to the hospital and her granny will be there to look after her. Repeat that a few times in the run-up but don't make a big song and dance when it actually happens, especially if it's during the night.

zzzzz Sun 19-Feb-17 12:59:40

We made a sign together, that said "we've gone to get our baby", and I promised to hang it on her door if I went in the night and to tell Granny where the special chocolate buttons were. grin

MrsBellefleur Sun 19-Feb-17 16:56:06

Thank you, I'm hoping that the fun of waking up and seeing grandma will override any worry she might have with us not being there.

We talk all the time about the baby and she knows I will have to go to hospital so she is prepared in that sense. I just worry as she still wakes in the night a couple of times and she might not settle if it's not one of us that goes in to her.

crocodarl Sun 19-Feb-17 17:09:31

She'll be fine though! Don't worry, your mother will know how to reassure her. x

elliejjtiny Sun 19-Feb-17 19:48:28

Ds1 was 4 when I had ds3. I've never done a middle of the night hospital dash. Ds1 particularly gets anxious about things so he helped me make a "special list for Gran" when I had ds's 3-5 with all the info he was worried she wouldn't know like where I normally stand when I pick him up from school and when to pay for school dinners/swimming.

littledinaco Sun 19-Feb-17 19:54:50

I left DH with my dc when I had 2&3. I know it's not everyone's choice but I felt the same as you about them waking up and being upset. I felt better knowing they were with their dad so was more relaxed in labour not worrying about them. Other people may feel more stressed out not having their DH there though.

wobblywonderwoman Sun 19-Feb-17 19:56:41

I think she will be so excited that it will be fine for her. Granny will be there for her to explain.

soundsystem Tue 21-Feb-17 11:48:12

My contractions started overnight. I waited to get DD up, had breakfast with her, saw her off to nursery at 7.30am, after she'd said "hello" to the midwife who'd just arrived, and helped her we take her bag upstairs.

Her brother was born at 7.40am.

I wouldn't recommend that as a plan if you need to get to the hospital!

If I'd had to go to hospital, the plan was that DH would stay and get DD up and handed over then come and join me once she was sorted.

I love zzzzzz's idea of making a sign together so she knows you've gone!

soundsystem Tue 21-Feb-17 11:50:00

Oh, when my own sister was born, my mum went to hospital while I was asleep and I woke up and my Aunt was there. It hasn't scarred me for life or anything smile

crapfatbanana Tue 21-Feb-17 12:58:25

I like the 'we've gone to get our baby' idea, and as has been said, just prepare your DD for what might happen.

My waters broke at 5.30am during the summer so it was light. We got DC 1 and 2 up as normal and dropped them at the childminder's for 7am. The baby twins were born at hospital by 8.30am so DH rang DCs at the minders to tell them and they came to see me and the babies at afternoon visiting. All worked out well, luckily.

When I was little and my sister was born in the middle of the night, my dad woke me to tell me, and I was very excited and happy but I went right back to sleep!

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