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Positive birth stories!

(69 Posts)
PositivePlans2017 Sat 18-Feb-17 19:02:52

I am so fed up of everyone telling me their negative stories and how much it's going to hurt blah blah blah. One colleague at work today really wound me up I really wanted to tell her to fuck off but unfortunately I couldn't really... it's because I mentioned I'm hoping to just have gas and air and waterbirth to which she laughed in my face. And then everytime she passed me she whispered "you will end up with all the drugs", "bet you end up with an epidural" etc. I don't want to hear this. Plenty of people do this without all the pain relief going every day, it's not that unusual!

I'm doing hypnobirthing and really hoping to stay positive. Obviously I'm not delusional and I know it's not going to be a walk in the park and pain free but I don't want to hear it's going to be agony etc.

Just to clarify, I have no problem with people using whatever they need to get through it and if I am struggling and feel I need them then I'm not going to refuse them, I would just rather try my planned water birth first.

So, anyone want to tell me some positive stories to balance it out?

UndersecretaryofWhimsy Sat 18-Feb-17 19:06:44

I had my first using nothing but the water (I didn't take to gas and air) and it was a wonderful and positive experience for me.

Your colleague us being an utter arse and trying to resolve her feelings about her own choices; that said, it's probably no harm for you to start holding back on what you plan/hope when it comes to parenting, because everyone's got an opinion and it never stops.

annlee3817 Sat 18-Feb-17 19:38:14

I had a good experience. I used hypnobirthing techniques, breathed through the contractions. Had two stages where I said "I can't do this" I was in the water for part of the labour but it out during pushing as felt hot and bothered. I tried two puffs of gas and air and didn't like it, so carried on without. It was a quick labour, I stayed mobile up until I got into the water and the hypnobirthing stopped me from panicking. I also was told a lot of horror stories and was laughed at when I said that I would like to attempt it without pain relief, even my DH thought I was mad and didn't think I'd do it. Good luck! Go in with an open mind and see what happens, I was open to pain relief if I needed it. Being in the birthing unit helped though, it was nice and comfortable and I really didn't want to be transferred to the labour ward for pain relief.

EdmundCleverClogs Sat 18-Feb-17 20:03:35

I planned a water birth with G and A, that's exactly what happened. However, I also kept in mind that a birth plan is subject to change for any reason, and I was open to changing my mind at any point leading up to baby arriving. My partner was given instructions to follow my lead and be my voice if needed. As is was, he was very helpful with giving me sips of drink in between contractions (which was a huge help and kept me from yelling for the drugs grin). It did hurt, but it was manageable. There is a lot to be said about keeping as calm as possible and getting into a zone.

Heatherbaby Sat 18-Feb-17 20:03:59

Hi positive I am in the second trimester of my first pregnancy so can't help with a positive story. I just wanted to say your colleague sounds like a bitch and is obviously trying to justify her own experiences.

I am the same as you in wanting to use as natural methods as possible. Obviously if the situation changes I will be open to other pain relief but I'd at least like to try gas and air, water and Hypno birthing techniques.

Don't worry about what other people say. The worriers always seem to be most likely to need medical intervention in most cases. Of course it's up to each person what they choose and I don't want to judge anyone, we should be supportive of everyone's personal decisions.

Good luck and hope it goes very well for you xx

RandomMess Sat 18-Feb-17 20:07:25

I had 4 inductions 2 of which ended up needing ARM to get anything happening, 3 of which I had epidurals for...

HOWEVER, they were all fine, I delivered without assistance, no rips, no cuts, yeah it hurt when the epidurals wore of but they were fine!!!

Just a shame none of them fancied coming prior to me being 42 weeks pregnant.

I know plenty of people who managed birthing at home, with just gas & air etc, or waterbirth, it will be fine flowers

beckslovestimmy Sat 18-Feb-17 20:09:32

First birth just a TENS machine, second birth TENS and a bit of G&A. Yes it hurts (really hurts) but it's a different type of pain, it's for a good reason and you'll cope just fine. If you need anything stronger it's no big deal. Don't put any pressure on yourself just go with it and see how you go. I wish you well.

SerialReJoiner Sat 18-Feb-17 20:10:54

I prefer birthing without the drugs that are currently offered to women. I don't like how I feel, I don't like that they cross the placenta, and I don't like how long they last. Sure g&a is quickly passed from the bloodstream, but it makes me loopy and crazed. I'm much happier without the drugs. Giving birth without them is entirely possible. I'm no superhuman either. Trust me!!

With my DS I intended to use hypnobirth techniques but the labour went so quickly I didn't have a chance. I was disappointed, but my midwives were really upbeat and insisted that all that practicing helped anyway and that I handled my precipitous labour really well. Whether that was just them being nice or not, I liked hearing it. smile

You can do this. Tell your colleague to stop being so unsupportive - as pp have said, she is obviously needing to work through her own issues.

tinytoucan Sat 18-Feb-17 20:19:14

I planned a waterbirth with gas and air, but by the time I arrived at the hospital I was too far along for the waterbirth, so I made it to 10cm with no pain relief. I tried g&a but got told off because it made me lose my focus (!) so ended up with no pain relief for the birth too. It did hurt, obviously, and there were points when I thought I couldn't do it but I did.

I have to say though, I did read up about the available mess before the birth as I know things don't always go to plan, so I knew I wouldn't get any nasty surprises if I did need pain relief or other intervention. I think doing that helped me feel calmer, which helped me cope better if you see what I mean.

tinytoucan Sat 18-Feb-17 20:20:09

Mess? Meds!!

Kiwi32 Sat 18-Feb-17 20:21:47

I used hypnobirthing and had a water birth with no need for any pain relief. It was a hugely positive experience.

I can recommend 'Ina May's Guide to Childbirth' for lots more positive stories.

I'd either tell her clearly you don't want to hear anything negative or simply walk away. Some people just delight in scaring you, I think it makes them feel superior.

60percentofthetime Sat 18-Feb-17 20:31:20

My first was a waterbirth in hospital. I didn't think I would get the pool (I assumed I would just end up asking for drugs, as I had a lot of people tell me about their horror stories too).
It was a great experience. Of course it was painful, but every time the pain got worse I was able to tell myself that I could get through it, that I could go a little longer without needing drugs.

Definitely don't refuse them if you are struggling though, theres no shame in it!

Gaaaah Sat 18-Feb-17 20:37:43

I've had 5 babies so far (soon to be 6) and have had a number of different birth experiences. Some bad, some really good. I've had labour with all the meds and labour with none.

My best birth was with none. I started contractions early morning. I phoned my mum, asked her to collect us (me and the kids) so she could watch them. I lay on the floor for most of the day just breathing and trying to relax. Dh came home from work. I was very zoned out. I decided now would be a good time to go for a walk which we did. It's not a long walk but it took a while with me having contractions all the way. I stayed at home for a while longer, dh she called the hospital. I was still talking calmly and rationally. On arrival there I was 8cm.
Midwife broke my waters (wish I'd said no to that if I'm honest) baby was born a couple of hours later.

I tried to have a home water birth with my last one but had a failure to progress unfortunately so had to go into hospital. I will say that I found the water a huge help. Lovely warm all over feeling. I felt safe.
I still only used a bit of gas and air (and she was a huge baby!) and was home in 6 hours.

Tell your stupid colleague to mind her own damn business and walk away.

Chottie Sat 18-Feb-17 20:40:32

I have 2 DCs both born by SVD over 30 years ago........ and I can remember people telling me horror stories too

What is it with these people? Ignore, ignore and ignore your colleague.

CatsCantFlyFast Sat 18-Feb-17 20:41:29

My first - waters at midnight, contractions started at 2am. Laboured at home until 6:30, into hospital and the birth pool, was 7cm. Dd born in the pool. Was lovely experience I would happily repeat. My second unfortunately was an emergency section at 34 weeks due to anti d sensitisation however even that was fine and not traumatic and I had a very easy recovery (off painkillers and moving pain free within 2 days).

Doesitfit88 Sat 18-Feb-17 20:42:25

1st birth my waters broke the day before I was sent home the next day contractions started so I went to the ward, 4 hours long, on gas&air bounced on a ball for a bit I though I need to push the midwife said she'll have have a look and to lay on the bed 5 minutes of pushing Dd arrived... she wasn't crying but was perfectly alert just really interested in what was going on after a few minutes she gave a little cry and I fed her.

2nd birth I was induced nothing much happened for 2 hours so the midwife broke my waters, 1 hour later I asked for gas and air, about 8 minutes of pushing and he was delivered, it was funny tho because he had the shortest cord, the midwife laid him on my chest but he was kind of pulled back down blush

3rd birth I rang the hospital told them I was in labour at 10:24 they told me to come in to be checked because my waters had broke (but no contractions) the night before and I had been put on the monitor. I was told to sit in a room I was rather uncomfortable and contractions were coming thick and fast at this point. Finally the midwife came, I asked for gas and air, she said she would examine me first, I was 6cm but could stretch to 8cm confused they got me straight to the delivery room with gas and air and 15 minutes later DS2 arrived smile

Heatherbell1978 Sat 18-Feb-17 20:43:50

Women who have had a bad experience often struggle with the fact that things didn't turn out the way they wanted so can reflect that onto others - I know that from experience with a friend.
But my experience with DS was good and due to do it again in about a week! It helped that I dilated quickly so wasn't a really drawn out labour. I loved my time in the birthing pool with gas and air.....very relaxing! I was so relaxed my contractions slowed right down so they got me out to push (and to break my waters). The pushing wasn't easy as my baby was back to back but I did it! I was on such a high afterwards I immediately said I wanted another.....hmm

savagehk Sat 18-Feb-17 20:44:33

I've had one and am expecting my second. Until there was meconium I was fine on gas and air (and in the pool) and didn't need/want an epidural (or other drugs!).

Everything went a bit off-piste after that - because of the meconium - but I think I got to 9cm ish until the meconium. I'm going on a hypnobirthing course this time (only did the CDs last time) and expect to be able to do it without drugs other than G&A again unless there's another medical reason.

PositivePlans2017 Sat 18-Feb-17 20:44:56

Thanks everyone smile. It's great to hear the good stuff as well as bad which everyone is so quick to offer! I'm 26 weeks now so plenty of time to practice hypnobirthing techniques yet. I've got a few books in to and really feel that understanding labour and the processes will help to feel prepared on the day.

Like a few of you have said it's the thought of the drugs making me sick, drowsy, out of it etc that put me off as I don't want to feel like that and then have to way back once you've take them as they last so long. I'm also prepared for things not to go to plan and to be open to options on the day but I'd rather not focus on the scare stories and what ifs. Hopefully the hypnobirthing will also help if anything doesn't go to plan with staying relaxed about it all anyway.

Here's to positive births all round, no matter which direction they do end up going in!

lilydaisyrose Sat 18-Feb-17 20:47:49

I've had 3 x happy home water births, using tens only (don't get on with gas & air). I am really stubborn, have quick labours and a high pain threshold and don't like hospitals. It can happen!

Hln Sat 18-Feb-17 20:49:36

Your colleague is a dick.

I had DS1 with only gas and air and DS2 was a water birth with only a few min of gas and air. I think what helped me was staying at home as long as I could and keeping on the move throughout (walking/pacing and using a ball). With DS2 I know that sitting astride the ball moved it all (him!) along - well, er, down, I suppose.

It's the best thing you'll do, however it happens. Be open minded and positive about whatever comes your way. Have a plan but be flexible. Listen to your midwife NOT your prattish coworkers.

Mouthfulofquiz Sat 18-Feb-17 20:51:53

I've had three positive experiences, and have been back in my own home within 4 hours each time. I had a bit of diamorphine for my first baby, and then the next two using just a tens machine.
I did, however, have an open mind and was happy to take anything if I felt I needed it.
I had a colleague who talked and talked at me about her horrific birth story. At the time it used to frustrate me because it used to feel like she was wishing the same on me. But looking back, I think she needed to keep talking about it because she was unhappy. Just remember that people offloading their stories might not be for your benefit, but theirs!
Good luck!

crocodarl Sat 18-Feb-17 20:59:34

I've had given birth 3 times and been really lucky each time.

Before the 1st time I'd looked into drugs and knew what I wanted to use. Was also mentally prepared to "go with the flow" of whatever happend - thought I'd prefer not to end up with an epidural or a c-section but was prepared to accept that if that was the way it turned out, then so be it.

In the event I got nothing, not even gas&air, because it really didn't take that long. Waters broke spontaneously. Only 2 stitches after. The 2nd 2 births were similarly straightforward, no drugs at all, didn't need any stitches and healed fast.

I was really, really lucky... but so are lots of people! I try not to harp on too much about my easy experiences because some people do have a truly ghastly time and I don't want to be insensitive.

I do think your colleague is being horrible though. Has she had kids? Because in my experience, there is a kind of unspoken gentlewomen's agreement - after you've given birth you are only allowed to give full disclosure about it to those VERY close to you, and other mothers who have experienced it. It is not sporting to tell horror stories to expectant mothers - in fact, there should be a law against it! She is in breach of this law if she's had kids. And if she HASN'T had kids then she doesn't know what she's talking about and should of course be ignored.

The most important thing, in my opinion, is be as relaxed as possible. Take it one contraction at a time. And don't have a fixed plan for what you expect to happen - except that regardless of how you get there, it will end with you feeling relieved and delighted, holding your wonderful healthy baby.

chocolateisnotsleep Sat 18-Feb-17 20:59:35

I'd second Ina May, lovely positive stories and I loved the sphincter rule - I really needed my privacy during my births. I did the hypnobirthing CDs, they were brilliant. Also lots of Pilates. I had two waterbirths, the first at a midwife led unit and the second at home. First birth was longer but easier because of the slow build up. I found alternating between baths and sitting on a birth ball with tens helped. The second was a bit more painful because dd2 was very late and I turned down induction but had a sweep - labour was very fast after that and felt like I went straight into intense regular contractions. Getting into the pool (when we eventually got enough water in!) and turning on the hypnobirthing tape was such a huge relief, it instantly calmed me down and the pain was immediately much less. I had some gas and air for the pushing stage with both but it was ok - as pp said, you know why you are going through this and that it will be worth it. No tear with with no.1 and a small grade 1 with no.2 which I didn't even feel and probably only happened because I pushed her out a bit too fast instead of letting her come slowly. I think there should be hypnobirthing on the NHS!! Oh - I also had a doula who was utterly amazing!! Good luck OP, I hope all goes well for you!

EsmesBees Sat 18-Feb-17 21:01:51

I had a really positive experience too. It's actually quite hard to talk about in real life without sounding very snug, which is possibly why you don't hear so many positive stories in real life.

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