Hi there everyone, I'm not 100% sure what I want from this post but I'm trying to piece together what happened during my labour in the absence of any sort of medical debriefing. I gave birth abroad and there was a bit of a language barrier. My DS is now 4mo but I still feel a bit traumatized by the birth, even though in comparison to other people's experiences I suppose it must sound easy.
My waters broke one morning, contractions started immediately. Baby was born seven hours after my waters broke, with attempted ventouse and episiotomy. I have no idea what time I went into established labour.
I read posts from women on here who say labour wasn't so bad, but I found it indescribably, terrifyingly, sickeningly painful. Near the end there was no space between contractions. At one point I had to be put on oxygen because I was panicking and I begged my husband to do something because I just couldn't keep going. I screamed a lot, and was told to be quiet; I wasn't allowed to move around during labour even though I had sciatica and my leg was cramping up - instead I was made to labour on my back; the room was full of nurses and two doctors who kept doing things without telling me (at one point they tried to catheterise me with no warning). The nurse kept putting a mask of gas and air on my face which made me breathless and sick, until I shouted at her to stop it. The nurses kept touching me and rubbing me which I know was meant to be reassuring but I just felt overwhelmed and ill. My dr rolled his eyes at me and asked how he was supposed to work under these conditions as I cried out in pain. I was coached through what I've seen called 'purple pushing', and they wanted me to hold my breath to push, but I just couldn't stop yelling out, it was physically impossible. I also couldn't stay still the way they wanted me to.
I missed my opportunity for an epidural as it progressed so fast.
The baby got stuck, and I knew he was stuck because I could feel it when they did a pelvic exam. The nurse told me that the baby had 'got a bit lost'. My dr then arrived and carried out the interventions, and if my husband hadn't told me about them then I would never have known what had happened as nobody explained it to me or even told me that the ventouse was involved.
My healthy, crying baby was taken away from me immediately after the birth and I didn't get to see him properly for about half an hour. They wouldn't let me stand up but eventually I did anyway because I wanted to see him. In the intervening period the dr stitched me up without telling me, which hurt, and 'cleaned' me by sticking something inside me without warning.
The whole experience of labour was awful.
I suppose I'm left with a few questions.
Do I just have a low pain threshold? Was I a wimp? I actually apologized to the dr afterwards for being a bad patient I've heard pain can be affected by your emotions, so if I'm in a calmer environment next time might it be less painful?
Did I have a normal labour? Are such interventions going to be necessary next time I have a baby? Why did he get stuck in the first place?
Why does it still hurt when I try to have sex with my husband? It hurts inside - have I torn? Did my dr not tell me about this?
If a ventouse fails (it's listed on my notes as 'attempted') is it normal for the dr to reach in and pull the baby out with his hands as my husband says he did? Has my husband got this wrong?
It all happened really fast - it felt like one minute I was laughing and joking through contractions and the next minute it was unbearable. Is my next labour likely to be fast as well? It was really scary as I'm a first time mum and I expected a long labour.
I don't know what I'm looking for really but none of my google searches are throwing up any answers. I'm fine now but I keep replaying it and I just wish I knew why it was so bad.
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Childbirth
What happened?
14 replies
FartnissEverbeans · 16/02/2017 10:59
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