8 months pregnant - getting scared

[musicmomma]

Hi everyone, I know this subject has been explored several times but I'm just looking for some support.

I'm a FTM due in April and I'm starting to get worried about the birth. I suffer with anxiety [constant and total terror about everything all the time] for which I have been helped and medicated but I came off my meds when I became PG. The things I am worried about are;

1. What if I die during child birth?
   
2. I don't want to be left in the hospital by myself over night, I have terrible separation anxiety.
   

The worry of point one means that I don't want to consider a home birth to counteract the worry of point two.

I've been recommended an epidural as I also suffer from a disability which means I exhaust very quickly. Is this a good idea? What about the complications?? AARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH.

Any advice/words of reassurance from anyone out there? Am I worrying over nothing? Help!

[Slightlyperturbedowlagain]

Totally understand your anxiety. Try and focus on the 'after' rather than the giving birth as much as you can.

1. Is a very tiny possibility, but thankfully exceedingly unlikely. Personally I went with the attitude that if I was satisfied the staff felt an intervention was necessary on medical grounds then I was happy (rather a cs than a bad end outcome)
   
2. I had an epidural with DS2 but not DS1. I would totally recommend it and wish I'd been able to have one the first time (was in a midwife-only unit and couldn't) I had very few side effects though did get a blood-pressure crash, it happens to some people with epidurals, but was fine after lying flat for 30 minutes.
   

Don't forget you will have the baby with you afterwards, so won't be alone, it's often awesome cuddle-time with just the two of you
Try and believe it will be fine, as most likely it will

[NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown]

I am in the last stage of pregnancy with my 4th child, I felt similarly to you when pregnant with the first. The best advice I can give is start listening to some hypnobirthing CDs or audio downloads - Maggie Howell is brilliant. One of the things that makes for a better birth experience is to stop viewing it as something to be feared. The theory goes that the more afraid you are, the more your body tenses up instead of letting go and the more painful it becomes, and the more likely you are to need intervention.

Women have given birth since the beginning of time. Your body could give birth even if you were in a coma...so you don't need to do an awful lot bar stay calm, breathe and allow your body to do what it was made to do.

Have a look on YouTube for hypnobirthing/natal hypnotherapy stuff, especially surrounding breathing and the fear-pain theory. I really wish I'd found it sooner. My 2nd and 3rd births were such a better, empowering experience - a stark contrast to the first where I was at the power of others and scared witless.

I can't tell you your fears won't be realised but I know from experience that knowledge is power and the more you can trust in your body's ability to birth, the better you will feel about the whole experience

[Ooosahh]

I've just started with Maggie Howells Birth Preparation natal hypnotherapy too, as I was feeling the same as you, I'm 7 months. I was a bit cynical about it but knew I needed to do something.
My anxiety seems to be reducing now so really give it a go. I am not planning on going pain relief free but if this can help eradicate the fear, then that's surely a good thing. It is giving me faith in my body's capabilities and inner strength.

[Rockandrollwithit]

OP, just wanted to share my experience as I also suffer with anxiety and was just like you before my first birth.

I found I was able to cope surprisingly well for around 20 hours (it was a slow labour!) but when I became tired my anxiety kicked in. My midwife was really clued up on mental health so had an epidural lined up for when /if my anxiety took over. Having a break from the pain helped me to stay in control. The gas and air also chilled me out a lot!