Cold feet before ELCS

[Imstickingwiththisone]

I had a rubbish experience with DC1. Was induced and ended up needing forceps and episiotomy to deliver and suffered PPH afterwards. My initial recovery was good, I didn't feel as poorly as I was told I should following the PPH and my stitches healed perfectly. I did, however, feel I suffered some sort of prolapse about 4 weeks post partum though and this devastated me. I cried a lot and would spend all night when I wasn't feeding googling about it. I was seen by a nurse but was told I was just constipated . It reassured me however and I just purchased a kegel8 machine to be on the safe side.

During this prgnancy I've been diagnosed with a uterine prolapse, so know it can't have all been in my head after delivery of first DC now. Again there has been lots of tears over the unknown state of my body post this birth.

I weighed it all up and although a normal straight forward birth would be my preferred mode of birth, there is absolutely no way of guaranteeing this. I don't want an instrumental delivery or tearing to try to protect what's left of my pelvic floor and EMCS s sound like a more risky op than ELCS.

My consultant was very hard to persuade for ELCS and after it was agreed I felt terrible about it. I feel like a total nuisance and worry about what other people think of me. I've only told my DM and DP about prolapse and my reasoning for wanting ELCS and they are supportive of whatever so I feel like I have an unrealistic view of whether I've made the right decision or not.

What would others do given my circumstances? I'm so torn from fighting against the professionals and wasn't expecting to feel so shit after I got what I supposedly wanted.

[Imstickingwiththisone]

Bumping for any morning loiterers

[Crispmonster1]

I think you are making a an informed decision. You have looked at the risks and how you reacted after your first labour and are trying to protect your body and your self. There is nothing wrong with that. Have confidence in your choice. Good luck.

[greenfolder]

Stop worrying about what anybody else thinks. You have thought it through and got NHS agreement. So just go with it.

[Imstickingwiththisone]

Thank you. I realise I'm being ridiculous but have wobbles so I will remember your comments when I do

[wowbutter]

An ELCS is probably the best birth option for you. So. Please do not feel guilty.
You have had agreement from medical professionals, so drop the guilt. You will have plenty of things to feel guilty about and this should not be one of them.
Start planning support for after the surgery. Put your efforts into other things.

[Nan0second]

I would listen to your consultant personally. If you've already got a prolapse, you are very likely to need surgery when your family is complete. The research shows that it is pregnancy and not birth that does the most damage to your pelvic floor. Instrumental delivery is very common for first babies (20%) and very rare for second babies (less than 3%). Again pph is more common with caesareans as well as with first births.
We would always recommend vaginal delivery in this case.
However, if you were adamant, after talking it through, I would book you a section.
Your choice.
(Am an obstetrician).

[Nan0second]

Ps I'm definitely not your obstetrician!!
All the best.

[eurochick]

I wonder whether getting the CS agreed has made you realise that it's not the mode of delivery that is the problem, because you are still anxious. Forget about what other people might think. That's irrelevant. Can you try to work through how you are feeling now to figure out if a CS is what you really want?

[Feelingkenty]

Sounds exactly like my delivery of DD1 almost two years ago (induction, episiotomy, 3rd degree tear, forceps and PPH).

I am currently 35 weeks with DC2. I haven't been diagnosed with a prolapse (suspected vulval varicosities instead, mind you there hasn't been a thorough check or scan to confirm) but my pelvic floor is shot. I have had some wind incontinence after DD1 which was still present 10 months after delivery (and is still there) so I'm scheduled for a ELCS in just under 4 weeks (I'm in Australia going public, and it wasn't hard to convince the Ob I needed one ).

I was told that if I had a similar tear there was a 20% chance of damage to my colon requiring further surgery and a colostomy bag for approach 6 months. This was prior to getting pregnant again and at the time and beginning of this pregnancy I was sure that was too high a risk to take and an elective caesarean would definitely be my preferred option.

As I've gotten closer to delivery I've wavered a bit wondering if I should try for another vaginal birth but I've decided that as the birth and recovery were fairly difficult, I'd rather plan for an ELCS rather than run the risk of an EMCS or further damage.

I know that opting for a caesarean guarantees major surgery and associated recovery but that's something I can plan for and accept, rather than run the risk of recovery from an EMCS or another messy delivery followed by major colon surgery and colostomy bag while trying to care for two small children.

All the best in deciding what's best for you OP

[HandbagCrab]

I had an elcs three weeks ago. No one judged me. I thank my lucky stars I did as there were unforeseen complications that could've ended up terribly if I'd tried for vbac.

I'm no expert but supposedly if you're stressed it effects vaginal birth and if you're worried about prolapse is it likely to go smoothly or is it more likely to not and end up in interventions?

Bonus of elcs is you know when it is, it takes an hour and if it doesn't go precisely to plan you're already in theatre with a full complement of medics. There's nothing to feel guilty about whatever way you decide to have your baby. Best of luck :)

[Bambambini]

If i were you I'd probably stay with ELC. I hsd emergency cs then was booked for Elc with second as was overdue thiugh had hoped for vbsc "for the real experience". Changed my mind in the hospital bed being prepped for surgery and was induced. Ended with forceps and ventuese and lots if stitches. Probably would have fared better with elc.

[pinguina16]

Similar birth to your first: ventouse x2, episiotomy, forceps, major PPH. Result: 2d tear, faecal incontinence, bladder and uterus prolapse, coccyx pain, Fenton procedure, severe depression. Fortunately continent now (with diligent pelvic floor exercises).

My own choice: no more children.
If I'd wanted more children I would have looked into ELCS (although I would likely view it as more trauma to my body which probably plays a part in me not wanting more children).

Maybe try to list all the pros and cons of each (understanding that pelvic organ prolapse is a risk associated with pregnancy alone) and see what you find more acceptable? I suspect you'll come back to ELCS overall (because that's what you have already concluded once).
ELCS is not an easy choice (I'm clearly bailing out of it myself) but it might be the least worse.
Although healthcare professionals have valid points to make, unless they've suffered a similar trauma to yours, I'm not sure they can fully understand. Their medical opinion is invaluable. The final say remains yours.
Good luck!

[Imstickingwiththisone]

Thanks all. Nano thanks for your viewpoint too. I've read that about it being the pregnancy second time around too but had also read that chances of instrumental delivery were higher than 3% second time around although I can't recall where now. I've also read that tearing is still common second time round and don't want that muscular damage if preventable. I was also told about surgery for prolapse but having looked into it the success rates weren't great, recovery was just as difficult as an ELCS (no lifting etc) and there was a very high chance of requiring further surgery after just 5 years. It didn't seem like a promising alternative to me. I had twinges recently and was totally panicked at the thought of having to push if I went into labour. This morning I am happy with my decision and think my self doubt comes from not wanting to make a fuss as ridiculous as it sounds.

[Imstickingwiththisone]

ping you certainly had a terrible time

[DailyMailFuckRightOff]

OP I had a very similar experience with my first birth recently. Talking with my doctor about my experience was useful and went some way to allaying my fears about a repeat performance, but ultimately I'm not sure I could go through something similar again. Struggling massively with pelvic floor, possible prolapse and general pain. I will do anything to avoid another forceps birth and if that means electing for a c-section, so be it. I'm choosing to feel no guilt about this.
Well done for making a decision, and I'm glad it's sitting easier with you today.
Best of luck

[mimiholls]

I would have done exactly the same as you. Do not feel guilty.

[KimmySchmidtsFakeXmasSmile]

OP my love, if I can save anybody from making my mistake, then it is worth posting personal info. Do NOT feel guilty. Do NOT worry about being a "nuisance" (that's a very 'English' way of thinking and I do it too). Do NOT give any fucks about what people think.
I had a suction cup/episiotomy. I was told all the usual....second births quicker, second births your body knows now what to do...ERM no.
Had exactly the same experience and suction second time around.
Cried when I found out I was pregnant again. I didn't even do the test, peed in a beaker and made DP do the stick. And cried.
Had nightmares about the birth. So what did I do?
Rather than being sane, logical and insisting on a section (yes, having read all the cons too) I allowed myself to be talked into a VB. Very British of me, . Felt I was being dramatic, a nuisance, a failure, had no fight in me left.
Ridiculous.
So....I even convinced myself that transition went badly due to epidural. I convinced myself interventions due to that. That if I had just been that bit braver I would have felt need to push (never had that) rather than die.
I was in a country with no gas/air available and I had requested no epidural to be given. I was going to do this.

I tore. Badly. I felt no urge to push (I tried as the midwife basically said Breathe as you're going to starve your baby of oxygen, Push or your baby won't make it). No pain relief at all and suspect I tore as no idea wtf I was doing or when.
I now have a prolapse and I am also incontinent at the slightest cough/laugh.

All because I was too fucking polite to insist on an elective.

Good luck love. Do NOT make my mistake.

[KatoPotato]

OP, I can't stop you fretting, but I can tell you please do not feel guilty!

I had an ELCS with DS1 because he was frank breach ( I think) It was such beautiful, calm and lovely experience I insisted on another for DS2.

Again, a lovely experience with very fast healing and a positive outcome. Happy t answer any questions about the procedure, what to expect etc.

[HiDBandSIL]

I would have an ELCS, without question. I've had 2 myself. They're great! Stop caring what others think.

[Imstickingwiththisone]

Thank you all for your positive posts. Kimmy so sorry you suffered for not going with an ELCS that must have been really difficult to deal with emotionally as well as physically. I really appreciate you posting your personal experience. Same applies to everyone on this thread xx

[KimmySchmidtsFakeXmasSmile]

I was angry I think for a long time. I have made peace with it now. But your post resonated with me. All the best for the rest of your pregnancy and wishing you a healthy delivery and speedy recovery

[KimmySchmidtsFakeXmasSmile]

^ I just reread what I wrote before. Hmm. Maybe I am not as at peace with it as I thought! The hurt is still palpable on the page. Sorry about that - had anyone asked me what I'd written I would have said Oh, told her an elective made perfect sense. I do think in your situation it does and hope for the best outcome for you.