ELCS?

[Gardencentregroupie]

With DD I had a mobile epidural and was mostly upright and walking/bouncing, but she still got stick during the.pushing stage (turned her head) and she was born using forceps. They found a buttonhole tear (tear through vaginal wall into rectum but not the analysis sphincter) and had to cut me open, giving me a 4th degree tear to repair me.

Since then I've mostly healed well but some issues controlling gas and a little bit of urgency when I need a poo, so not completely asymptomatic. I'm under consultant care this time, and ELCS is an option.

Pros:
Not running the risk of another major tear, or further damaging the tear site from before. Another major tear could potentially lead to a lifetime of faecal incontinence, worst case scenario.
I suppose not being exhausted from a long drawn out labour

Cons:
Major surgery, pain and recovery time with a toddler
Scarring - I tend to scar rather badly, my years old gall bladder removal scars are still raised and massive

DH thinks I'm nuts to even consider a VB, but he's not the one facing being sliced open!

[choccybiscuit]

I've have two emcs and both experiences were fine. I was a little worried especially as I didn't know if the babies were ok, but recovery was fine. Yes, It's not a good idea to be running around after a toddler but hopefully you'll have your dh to do that for you I the first week or so. I was up walkimg around after the second section the same day and needed only paracetamol for pain. I'm probably going to end up with an elcs this time so things should be a lot calmer I hope.

[DorotheaHomeAlone]

I wouldn't even pause for a second in your shoes an elcs is a stroll in the park compared to what you've been through. I had one earlier this year (and had an emcs 2 years ago) and it was a lovely and calm experience from start to finish. Both times I rested up completely and my husband did everything but feed the baby for a couple of weeks. After that I was pretty much back to normal.

[Bumpylady]

I had a 3c tear followed by an elcs. It was a walk in the park compared with first time and recovery was fine - I also have a toddler. It's a no brainier in my book when you consider the risk of permanent faecal incontinence

[KlingybunFistelvase]

I'd go for ELCS in your shoes.

[SoftSheen]

I can personally recommend an ELCS (much the most civilised way to give birth, IMO!) and in your situation I wouldn't hesitate. You might be surprised by how quickly you recover.

[Time4adrink]

Poor you. Similar experience. Definitely take the option of elective cs. My experience was it was calm, happy and easy to recover from. I was even allowed to drive after 2 weeks so I could take my toddler back to nursery for a few days a week. Yes I have a scar but it reminds me of the beautiful birth.

[Gardencentregroupie]

Thanks everyone

I'm surprised it's such a consensus so far towards the CS!

[sycamore54321]

I think you're nuts even to consider VB if a doctor is warning you of permanent fecal incontinence. This is a huge deal, and I think a lifelong consequence like that is something to be considered very seriously if your only cons are the standard list of side effects that any c-section patient would have.

A section is 'major surgery' but by the sounds of it, your last birth was major trauma followed by major surgery. C-sections do carry risks but they tend to be risks common to all forms of surgery and are well controlled and managed. A VB is a spin of the roulette wheel - great if it goes well but all manner of downsides if it goes badly.

[Gardencentregroupie]

The risk of incontinence is a small one, to be fair. I just keep hearing about people who had horrendous first births then lovely sneeze births with their second. But then apparently the risk of a bad tear is a lot higher (statistically still small, but higher nonetheless) if you've already had one.

Argh! I suppose I just need to let go of my whalesong birthing fantasy.