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Pregnant again after 1st difficult birth

(10 Posts)
Dillon22 Sun 09-Oct-16 11:43:27

Was induced with DD1, finally had her almost four days later. Long story short, given a last minute epidural which slowed everything right down, put on drip, when pushing started emergency bell was rung, 8 medical staff in the room. Ended up as a failed ventouse, so epi and forceps. Recovery was absolutely awful, was peeing in the shower for 6 weeks every day blush . Pretty sure I had internal trauma as no amount of pain killers even touched the pain for the two weeks. Could barely look after myself let alone my baby, thankfully had my mum there but ended up with mild PND. Stitches got infected, ended up with a gaping wound that has healed fab now. Took 6 weeks to feel brave enough not to sit on my feeding pillow! (I am also a self confessed massive wimp!)

Pregnant again now with DC2, but I'm constantly thinking of the birth. Was told after I'd be allowed to request a c/s, but with a 4 year old at home I can't see that being practical. But also don't want to go through what I did first time round!

Has anyone had a second birth after forceps/epi that didn't end the same? Or if you did, was the pain manageable second time round? The thought of going through it again is really unsettling me into considering a c/s! sad

Boredomismyenemy Sun 09-Oct-16 11:51:34

I had an awful first birth,induced, baby in distress, failed ventouse, episiotomy and forceps then rushed to theatre as suffered internal trauma and bleeding heavily. Couple of hours in theatre being put back together. Big baby. Second birth, laboured at home overnight, went to hosp in the morning after sorting DS out for school, kept active at hospital, no pain relief, when dilated enough got into pool and within 2 hours baby arrived with a little gas and air for head crowning, I suffered a tiny tear that took 5 mins to fix. Bigger baby. Everyone says no two births are the same, certainly for me that's true! I could've opted for a c sec but decided against it.

Chemistria Sun 09-Oct-16 11:55:37

Hi Dillon

just writing to follow what people say as I'm going through exactly the same worries right now. Been swaying to and fro for the last month as to whether have an elective section.

I'm 26 weeks pregnant so I don't know how much more time I have to decide.

The thing which I find hard is thinking with a vaginal birth there are hundreds of ways it can go for me and baby, with a section I feel at least the baby will be safe, and I can cope well with (expected) pain, it's just looking after my 2YO is going to be incredibly difficult even with OH's help.

Chemistria Sun 09-Oct-16 11:56:49

I should say I also had episiotomy and forceps and lost loads of blood and had secondary haemorrage 18 days after the birth, I'd rather have a section than all that happen again, but then I could have an "easy" birth so it's such a gamble sad

Boredomismyenemy Sun 09-Oct-16 13:18:42

The thing is a c sec isn't even guaranteed not to have complications. I've had 2 friends suffer after, one with the effects of the epidural they gave and another who got an awful infection and wound opened up. She was unwell for weeks. It's a very hard decision to make, I to and fro'd for weeks.

Runningupthathill82 Sun 09-Oct-16 13:24:44

Your first birth sounds almost identical to mine.
I was in agony with a back to back baby that was going nowhere. After 24 hours of what was basically torture, I ended up with epidural, failed ventouse, episiotomy and forceps. The recovery was horrendous.

Thought long and hard about an elective section for DC2 but decided to try for a vaginal birth again. I'm so glad I did.

DC2 labour was four hours long from first twinge, and I needed no pain relief aside from gas and air in the water pool. I tore, but that was it, and we were home within a few hours.The pain was entirely manageable and I was in control in a way I certainly wasn't first time round.

Based on my experience, I'd advise you to go for a vaginal birth, but of course everyone is different. Good luck!

Obsidian77 Sun 09-Oct-16 13:38:57

I'm hesitating slightly to share my experiences as I was living abroad when I had my first 2 DCs so it might not be relevant to the (hopefully much much better) care you'll receive here, but..
DC1 - long labour, 2 and a half hours of pushing, high forceps delivery (no epidural), episiotomy. Not fun but I healed ok.
DC2- induced. Sustained permanent nerve damage in early labour (seems to be a freak occurrence). Horrific birth. No epidural. Episiotomy.
DC3- I was extremely anxious about the birth. Spent the last trimester plaguing midwives, consultants and anaesthetists about how to make sure I would be able to actually get some pain relief for the birth. Was told there was no reason for me to be considered for elective C/S.
In the end, and this is why I am mentioning my unpleasant experiences, it was a very stop-start labour, which meant it didn't look to anyone as though I was actually in labour, so couldn't have epidural. The midwives were very kind but I think I was so petrified that my body kind of shut everything down. Left hospital in tears after second day of fruitless labour. Returned less than 2 hours later, had baby 10 minutes after arrival, with just completely ineffective gas and air.
It was everything I had wanted to avoid. I had a second degree tear and it definitely hasn't helped with the chronic pain.
I am not glad I had a vaginal birth and am wishing I had insisted on a C/S.
I found that the midwives, especially those who hadn't given birth themselves, were very dismissive of my fears. I hope you can find someone (perhaps a senior midwife) who will properly listen to you and advise based on your specific case. Best wishes.

Cakescakescakes Sun 09-Oct-16 13:51:00

It's a hard decision. I had a massive tear with surgical repair, distressed baby etc after a really horrific induction with DC1. My second labour was also an induction but I managed easily on gas and air and just a few quick pushes and he was 10lbs. It was an absolute piece of cake compared to my first. I'm glad I went for a vaginal delivery second time (although I was borderline on needing a section due to the previous scarring/year). It gave me a lot of closure on the first delivery. But that's just my exeperience. I was also a lot more assertive though second time about making sure pain relief was available if needed etc.

GuessHowMuchILoveGin Sun 09-Oct-16 17:27:02

I had a difficult first birth. Back to back labour, synto drip because of Meconium in the waters, rotation, forceps and episiotomy in theatre. Ended up with a hemorrhage and a 3rd degree tear. I was offered a CS for my second but declined.

I ended up being induced on my due date. I had an epidural and the synto drip. Labour was fine, was fully dilated much quicker than last time and I pushed her out in about 20 minutes. I had no faith in my body's ability to birth a baby after last time, and I wept tears of joy when she came out. The lovely MW let me feel the head as it was coming when I pushed. It was so empowering. I had a small second degree tear which took a few minutes to sort. I was home 12h later.

I was terrified and dithered about whether to go for a section and I am so so glad I didn't. It is hard because there is no guarantee that a vaginally birth will be straightforward, but the vast majority of women who had forceps the first time don't need any help with the second. Good luck to you. I hope you make the right choice for you.

Imstickingwiththisone Fri 14-Oct-16 21:00:24

Hi OP I'm in the same boat as you. DC1 was large and after a very long labour I had episiotomy, forceps and then a large PPH that kept me in a really shitty postnatal ward for days. My recovery was quite good but I had this massive fear that I was going to have a prolapse because of all the trauma. I had awful constipation too so that didn't help my concerns. My vagina would feel really odd sometimes but I couldn't remember what it felt like before.

Anyway 3 years later I'm requesting an ELCS if I go overdue as I don't want to get stuck having a bigger baby and need episiotomy, forceps or emergency section. Could still happen if I go into Labour before due date but I was induced last time and likelihood of intervention increases then.

I just hope consultant agrees with me. Haven't been impressed so far everyone has been quite dismissive with what I see as a compromise for quite valid medical concerns.

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