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Childbirth

Having a planned C Section alone

20 replies

NannyPlumsMagicTrick · 22/09/2016 03:44

Have you / would you?

Currently 30 weeks. Because I'll likely be in theatre early in the morning theres a chance DH won't make it in time to be in theatre with me after dropping DD at nursery. (Am in the process of seeing if any friends could have her but they all work and we've no family nearby. Would rather she was with someone familiar).

I don't feel massively worried about going it alone - as long as he's there in recovery. Am I mad? Feel sad he'd miss it, but in the grand scheme of things it's not a huge issue is it?

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MinnowAndTheBear · 22/09/2016 04:26

Isn't it more likely they will do emergency cases first, and your "slot" will be a little later in the morning? Or can you ask the hospital to delay your operation until after your DH can be there? They will have a list of patients in need of a CS that day; you could ask to be moved further down the list.
It seems a shame for your DH to miss it.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 22/09/2016 04:41

If it's for gestational diabetes you'll always go first unless there's an emergency because of having to be nil by mouth overnight. If it's for another reason then I imagine that within reason they will put you later down the list so he can be there. I personally wouldn't want to go it alone, even if it's just so dh can hold the baby first.

Shutupanddance1 · 22/09/2016 04:57

C section is major surgery - why would you be okay with doing that alone?

Even during mine before they brought my husband in, I was majorly anxious and when he was brought in it calmed me right down.

AnnaT45 · 22/09/2016 05:03

Find out what time you can expect it to happen. I was first on the list and went into theatre at around 9.15ish so you may be ok. I had to be there at 8 but the first hour was just admin and monitoring.

dylsmimi · 22/09/2016 06:57

Definitely check when they are likely to do your section. I was there at 7.30 and second on the list and went down around 2.30. Even the morning ones are late morning.

Could nursery as a one off allow your little girl to be there earlier? Or any of the other parents from nursery to take her? I know I would for someone in that situation

If it's all not possible I am sure you would be ok - I had really lovely staff and a supportive midwife who was there all the time but it would be better if your DH can be there to hold ghe baby first etc

Metalhead · 22/09/2016 14:51

You'll be fine if your DH really doesn't get there in time, but as others have said, even if you have to come in at 7am and are first in the list you're unlikely to go to theatre before 9am. Good luck!

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 22/09/2016 14:55

Yes, just ask your consultant where you are on the list. If first, you could have the baby out by 9am. But you won't be in theatre earlier than 8.45am. You just go there earlier to prepare. If third in line, you could be waiting until 2pm, seriously.

I don't think it's a big deal if it isn't a big deal TO YOU. The thing I'd be concerned about is DH missing baby's first moments. In theatre sometimes you can't hold the baby for whatever reason - sometimes minor - and the availability of DH to give skin to skin or just a cuddle for baby to hear a familiar voice is really nice.

Floralnomad · 22/09/2016 14:57

I had my section at 9 , I was first on the list ,we had agreed before that DH would wait outside and the baby would be taken out to him as soon as possible after I'd had a look at her . We took this decision because during our first labour DH kept having to excuse himself to throw up / pass out and I didn't want that in the operating room as its too much of a distraction for the staff . As it was I was throwing up all through the procedure so had plenty to think about ( was busy trying not to aspirate ) and was quite happy to not have to worry about DH as well .

ThatsWotSheSaid · 22/09/2016 15:04

You won't be alone, the nurses and midwifes etc will be there and I'm sure give you a bit of extra attention. If your fine with it go for it. But I'm sure you could get a mum at school/before school club to help out though if you'd prefer to make sure he's there.

allegretto · 22/09/2016 15:07

You'll be fine. I had mine "alone" as partners are not allowed in where I live and it wasn't a problem.

NannyPlumsMagicTrick · 22/09/2016 17:29

Thanks everyone! Should have said - had an EMCS before so I've experienced a cesarean birth. And I'm type 1 diabetic so supposed to be done first or at least early-ish. Because of being diabetic for more than 30 yrs and with such intense hospital monitoring I'm so used to the medical environment I think that's why I feel comfortable with it. I've had other smaller surgery (not GA) on my own.

He could likely get there by 8.45 so there's a good chance he'll make it. Ill definitely be asking the consultant about timings - fingers crossed it'll work out!

OP posts:

Sparrowlegs248 · 22/09/2016 18:51

I would. Had elcs last time and would have been OK being on my own. Especially if you know dh is going to arrive soon after.

MrsCampbellBlack · 22/09/2016 18:56

I had my second child by C-section without my husband there as it was earlier than expected, it was boxing day and my dh had to look after my eldest.

It was absolutely fine - the staff were fab and even though DC2 ended up in NICU it was all fine.

Good luck!

NannyPlumsMagicTrick · 23/09/2016 04:39

Thanks Notta & MrsCB, I feel reassured... Having him in recovery would be far more important to me and I've no doubt he'd make it by then.

Funny isn't it, the major surgery alone bit doesnt scare me but can't stand the idea of being alone post-birth!

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Lovemylittlebear · 23/09/2016 18:50

Can't you speak to nursery to see if as a one off you could pay extra to have someone be there early and take her in early if that's allowed? Or if one of the nursery staff could be paid to have her at their house or come to your house in the morning and drop her in nursery? Surely there is a way round it as a one off? X

Alwaysinahurrynow · 24/09/2016 11:49

We've been discussing this too as although I have a planned section date, if I go early we might be stuck.

I think if you ask you will be surprised at how many friends offer to help (I've even had husbands offer without wives knowing). However having already had two sections, I'm quite happy to go in by myself if necessary. If you are happy to do this, then just be ready for it, but it is worth mentioning at your pre-op in case they are happy to juggle the order of the sections to accommodate you.

Acunningruse · 28/09/2016 20:06

We had this issue 2 weeks ago- I had gestational diabetes so was first on the list and told to be at hospital for 8Am, DS' nursery on the other side of town doesn't open til 8 so wouldn't have been able to get there before 8.30 at the earliest. I spoke to the manager of DS nursery and explained the situation and they were happy to help out, and we were able to drop him off at 7.30 we just had to sign an insurance waiver. He was made a big fuss of that day by nursery staff and it worked really well. Hopefully yours can do similar.

sycamore54321 · 04/10/2016 01:31

I would agree with you that it isn't a huge deal ( from my perspective) if he isn't there. It may be more of a problem from his. However I do think your reasoning is a bit daft - you have two months more to figure out how to get your child to nursery on one morning without either of you, this really does not seem insurmountable. If your partner would like to be at the section and you consent, then surely one of the many solutions proposed above could be explored.

I find it strange another poster mentioned not doing any other major surgery alone - I have never heard of an accompanying person for an adult patient other than c-sections.

Best of luck with it.

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 04/10/2016 02:00

I had an elcs after a failed induction. DH nearly passed out when they put the saline lock in my hand whilst I was still in my room. I told him that I didn't want him passing out on me and that if he wasn't sure, I'd prefer him to wait in the room to have S2S with DS whilst I was in recovery. I didn't want to be worrying about him.

So that's what we did.

NannyPlumsMagicTrick · 04/10/2016 04:54

Thanks all, nice to get some perspectives on this... Totally agree there may well be a nursery drop off solution. My stepmum has offered to do it providing she doesn't have a last minute job somewhere outside London - I supposed I wanted to just feel happy with the notion of going it alone as a backup if everything else fell through or we couldn't work something out! (I do like to be fairly self-sufficient in life generally - so if all else fails I know we can manage!). Will def check whether nursery can have her half an hour earlier as a one-off.

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