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C section with toddler, or try for vbac?

(18 Posts)
Sparrowlegs248 Mon 22-Aug-16 21:40:01

Ds was born by elcs due to being breech. I had a great time of it, and easy recovery.

Ds will be 19 months I think when dc2 is due (not had first scan, unsure of dates....) He is walking now, so I have 6 months or so to try to encourage a bit of independence.

I have the option of another elcs, or vbac. For some reason, the thought of vbac terrifies me. I keep having awful images of my scar rupturing. I am very much more leaning towards elcs, but I will have ds who will still be a baby really.

Has anyone been in the same situation and what did you choose? If you had elcs how did you manage with a toddler?

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Sparrowlegs248 Mon 22-Aug-16 21:40:59

I also have real worry that I will end up with emcs if I attempt vbac.

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GlitteryFluff Mon 22-Aug-16 21:43:00

If you have lots of support ie a dp/DH who can have a few extra weeks of paternity leave, family and friends local then it'll be fine.
If you're a single parent with no support it might be almost impossible.

Sparrowlegs248 Mon 22-Aug-16 21:44:44

Husband will probably have a couple of days off. And is not much help really. Might as well be honest. I do have an excellent mum and Mil though.

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Bagina Mon 22-Aug-16 21:47:47

Exactly the same age. Dh tagged 2 weeks annual leave onto paternity leave. We put toddler in a bed, so no lifting required. It was fine. I didn't really have to do anything but dh was glad to get back to work!! We also found out the sex so I could clear out old toddler clothes and have wardrobe all ready to go etc. Just tried to be ultra prepared. It was a bit clinical but worked for us.

Bagina Mon 22-Aug-16 21:49:01

Time to get him trained up then or it won't be much fun with 2 under 2!!!

ThornyBird Mon 22-Aug-16 21:50:29

Dc1 was an ELCS for breech. Dc2 was born by vbac 21mths later.

I chose to attempt vbac as there was no good reason not to - I didn't labour with dc1 so had no idea whether it would progress or not etc. No medical reasons to have another section (dc2 was scanned at 38 weeks to check position and again when I arrived at hospital in labour!) and dc1 was not very big (6lb7).

In the end I had 3 vbacs without any problems (except perhaps speed of labour confused).

Hedgeh0g Mon 22-Aug-16 21:51:04

I've heard from a friend in a similar situation that she was told the chances of ending up with an emcs are pretty high. Your body hasn't done it before, so it's more like a first birth in that respect, which tend to take longer, but they don't let you labour as long with a vbac due to higher risks. She went for an elcs and by all accounts it was a quick recovery.

Sparrowlegs248 Mon 22-Aug-16 21:52:27

That's a whole other thread bagina!

How did it go with dc1 in a bed? Still seems so young. Just doing gradual withdrawal with ds, and he patrols his cot for 20-40 minutes before giving in. Hard to imagine him.not being caged!

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Doje Mon 22-Aug-16 21:55:38

Had exactly the same age gap and had c sections with both. DH had 2 weeks off, then my parents were around for a week. By the end of that I could put my DS1 in his cot and that was the only problem for me.

I was driving a week or so after that.

Sparrowlegs248 Mon 22-Aug-16 21:55:43

That's encouraging thorny except we have big babies in my family (I was 11lb 4..... 3 weeks early) ds was 9lb 1 and, his head is MASSIVE. Like mine.

Thy are pretty good about c sections here so I don't think I'd struggle to get one.

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Hedgeh0g Mon 22-Aug-16 21:55:55

We will have an exact 2 year age gap when dc2 arrives in a couple of weeks. We put him in a bed a few weeks ago (so at around 23 months), and it's been remarkably easy. We kept him in a sleeping bag at first, because otherwise he kept getting out, but he doesn't try when he's in the bag.

Sandsnake Mon 22-Aug-16 21:59:59

I'd go for ELCS, personally. As you didn't go into labour the first time it would be your first natural birth - therefore more likely to be complicated and to last longer. Added to that you have the added risk factor of it being a VBAC. As you recovered well with your first ELCS I'd be tempted to go with that 'known' rather than the potential of a worse recovery with EMCS / forceps / nasty tear that may occur with VBAC.

With an ELCS you could also 'pre-book' whoever is going to look after your DS when you have DC2 as you would know when you would be giving birth. Might sound trivial, but I would imagine would take a lot of stress as to who will look after your DS away. It also be easier on him as you would be able to tell him when he was going to stay at Grandma's (or whoever) in advance rather than having to potentially rush him round somewhere in the middle of the night when you go into labour.

Congrats on the pregnancy!

Bagina Mon 22-Aug-16 22:01:15

We were terrified to do the bed but it was such an anticlimax. Nothing happened! I think he got out once! We did make sure he was sleeping through first.

Bagina Mon 22-Aug-16 22:02:53

I also used to bath dc2 in the bathroom sink in the first month! Never would have done that with pfb!!!

user1471501659 Mon 22-Aug-16 22:30:43

I had almost the same gap between dd and ds. Dd was breach so a planned c section, and ds (22 months later) was supposed to be a vbac. He ended up not progressing enough so I had a emcs. The hospital are very good at making sure you won't rupture or go over the 'time limits'.
It was tricky with both kids, but I had parental help and dh took about a week off work. I healed much faster the second time and wasn't in as much pain as I remember from the 1st go. Take supplies in your hospital bag for a c section, as its highly likely you will be offered one, rather than encouraged to keep pushing based on the previous elcs.

Good luck

Sparrowlegs248 Tue 23-Aug-16 08:13:37

Thanks all. sandsnake those are my thoughts too. I was quite anxious understatement last time about the not knowing aspect of labour. It sounds lame but I hate spontaneous things, and waiting and wondering would heighten my anxiety, then the total unknown of how it would progress etc. I wasn't confident in anyone to be a decent birthing partner. So I was somewhat relieved to be told 'a week on Friday, c section' and indeed it would make arranging care for ds and the numerous animals we have, much easier.

I somehow feeling ill be copping out though if I choose c section. I don't know why. I have no hang ups about wanting to give birth naturally!

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Sparrowlegs248 Tue 23-Aug-16 08:14:28

Thanks also User1471 that's exactly what I don't want to happen but it seems quite likely

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