DS1 is 12 months old. Labour was 18 hours, lots and lots of pushing. Had gas & air, then pethidine, then epidural with 2 top-ups even though he was teeny tiny. I tore badly and needed 18 stitches, some of them internal which later become infected. Recovery was slow, and I felt the whole experience was very brutal, although the care I received was excellent. Expecting DS2 in late October. I can expect a bigger baby this time (DS1 low weight was due to a birth defect, I hate that term).
So if you needed the whole sweet shop of drugs first time around, did you need it again for your second birth? If you tore with your first, did it happen again with DC2? And have you hsd any joy using hypnobirthing? If so, please share your experience with me.
Basically, please reassure me! I'm scared it will be brutal and frightening again. Thanks in advance.
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Childbirth
What was your second birth like?
MumOnACornishFarm · 04/07/2016 00:23
You poor thing, you had a rough time 
I had a 21 hour labour with DC1, had an epidural and then an episiotomy because I needed a low forceps delivery.
With DC2, who was born 16 months later, labour was much quicker, about 12 hours, and all I needed was gas & air. I tore slightly and had stitches which took a while to heal, but it was OK.
I didn't try hypobirthing and don't know much about it, so can't give any opinions on that.
Hope it goes well for you.
Thank you Drama. Sounds like you had a rough ride too. My DCs will also be 16 months apart, and that's a whole other thread of panic and worry!
Did you find you recovered faster after your second? Also (bit personal this one so feel free to tell me to bugger off!) did you find that the episiotomy or the tear healed better? I hear different things and my MW says a tear heals better, but I'm not sure. I'm terrified of tearing like that again.
Wow Madison! That baby was in a hell of a rush. Must have been a shock for you all. 
I hope mine takes a little longer, we'll never make it to the hospital in 44 minutes!
I don't mind answering. Honestly, my episiotomy healed better. Second time around they offered me an episiotomy but I said I'd rather tear as I'd heard they healed better. In retrospect I should have had the episiotomy as the tear seemed to take forever to heal in comparison. I was sitting on an inflatable cushion for weeks 
it might be reassuring to hear that I had DC3 a couple of years later and got away with a slight graze that didn't need stitching at all.
As for the 16 month gap - you survive!
OP, your first birth sounded tough.
As above - all births are different. My first was a premature emcs so I was very nervous for my second. And I also have a small age gap so know that anxiety too.
As it happens my second was a very nice elcs, as these things go anyway.
I think the second time you will be more opinionated about what you want and don't want and go into it with eyes open as it were. I was much more prepared and forthright on the postnatal ward.
So although it can't be predicted I really hope the second is better for you
PS small age gap is very hard work BUT it is the best thing I did now I'm 8 months in. They have a very good relationship and DS was too young to be jealous. In fact I don't think he remembers being on his own now! However I realise that wasn't your question
Much easier, better and less painful than the first. I'm now pregnant with DC3 - I'm hoping it gets easier again
Watching with interest as I am also expecting DC2, due in 8 weeks and had a difficult birth first time around 
Wow Painted what an experience. My heart goes out to you; nobody expects their first birth to go like that. Congratulations to you on your 3 non-amphibian children! I think what you and others have said about more in control and more confident to say what I think second time around is right. Just hope I don't get an awful leg-slapping midwife.
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Mum ... my first birth experience was pretty horrendous, it sounds similar to yours, and TBH I was a bit traumatised and when MWs tried to hand me baby, I couldn't even hold her and begged my DH to hold her as I just couldn't. Labour was so very long and my MW (it was so long I had 3 shift after shift!) weren't all they should be, except for the last one, and just kept telling me to go and have a bath.
Onto no.2 birth It was an absolute pleasure and I remember thinking this is what it should be like. She was a huge baby so of course it wasn't painfree but it was so relaxed and wonderful snd if I'd been younger I'd have gone for another one! The difference between the births were so marked.
I wish you lots of luck.
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