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I'm so annoyed!

(14 Posts)
sammyjayneex Thu 09-Jun-16 08:36:01

So I had my baby yesterday 2.02 in the morning. I made it clear at my last consultant appointment that I didn't want to stay in hospital unnecessary and he said they wouldn't. Anyway after baby was born he had a slight raised temp so they were a bit concerned to start but they checked two-3 times after and it was perfectly normal. Anyway I could have easily been discharged they afternoon as all his obs were fine but this doctor insisted she wanted 24hr ones. I said no I'm not staying in then she started talking about a past Strep B infection ( thinks that's what's it's called) In my third pregnancy ( DD was fine just precaution) but was clear in my 4th pregnancy and this pregnancy and as soon as I refused to stay she started talking more stuff saying ' he's a bit jittery, I might have to check his glucose levels and calcium levels via blood tests' so I was basically emotionally blackmailed to stay in. My problem is I HATE staying in hospitals. I'm breastfeeding so baby is up all night feeding constantly And I'm exhausted as I've not slept proper since babies birth. So I've been getting baby out of cot to feed and not remembering putting him back, which is scary and I've been falling asleep whilst feeding him in my arms. This is why I wanted to be discharged so I could sleep whilst my husband supervises baby feeding and puts him back. Now I feel guilty that I fell asleep with him in my arms putting him in danger but I can't help with sleep deprivation. What if I dropped him and just picked him straight back up and not remember? And I've damaged him ? I know this sounds mad but these doctors have ruined my experience of being a new mum

CottonSock Thu 09-Jun-16 08:39:08

Better to be safe than sorry wirh a newborn with a raised temperature. You will be home soon. I'm afraid most people hate hospital.

My nephew was a bit jittery and raised temp and did need treatment

Whosthemummy16 Thu 09-Jun-16 08:45:12

With how busy hospitals are they aren't going to keep you in unnecessarily.
The risk of you dropping your baby and not remembering is so tiny compared to ignoring a hcp telling you your newborn needs to stay in hospital in my opinion.
You'll be home soon.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay Thu 09-Jun-16 09:24:57

It's only a few days! They dont want to keep you in just for the hell of it. Your child has symptoms they want to check out. Is that not more important than your dislike of hospitals hmm

Drmum123 Thu 09-Jun-16 10:44:11

Hi there,

Congratulations on your baby. I am a paediatric doctor and I make these decisions all the time. The problem is newborn babies don't show they have infection like older children and adults. At the beginning symptoms are really non specific. And often by the time it becomes obvious the baby is seriously ill. As a result we overtreat and overobserve babies. If your baby's observations become slightly abnormal and this is noted early, we could start antibiotics before its too late. I might treat twenty babies with antibiotics and maybe one might have an infection, maybe even fewer........but I don't know which baby it is going to be. And it could save a baby's life. I know it is frustrating but they are not keeping you in unnecessarily, they are keeping you in because they want to make sure your baby is not sick.

Dontyouopenthattrapdoor Thu 09-Jun-16 12:27:13

Wow. Possibly the most unreasonable OP I've read all year.

Your Doctor isn't "ruining your experience of having a newborn"- YOU are, with your attitude.

You'll both be home in a day or so. Alternatively if you feel you know best discharge yourself against medical advice. But on your head be it.

If your Doctor has concerns they are duty bound to give you the very best care they can and with hospitals so full, keeping mothers and babies in unnecessarily tends not to be their first thought.

Hope that helps. angry

sammyjayneex Fri 10-Jun-16 11:55:44

I do understand it was all in his best interests

Think it was a mixture of tiredness and anxiety that has made me feel this way.

OfficiallyUnofficial Fri 10-Jun-16 12:00:19

Going to sound a bit terrifying here but StrepB went undiagnosed and killed my nephew shortly after birth. I would give everything on earth to have had an overly concerned doctor save his life. My DD also had it but we stayed in a week which was utterly shit but worth it so she could be treated and well.

That said you are tired and hormonal so I can understand your anxiety, ask one of the MWs if she could watch baby a while so you can catch a little rest? Or have DH come in the day so you can snatch some sleep?

Tiggeryoubastard Fri 10-Jun-16 12:08:27

The safety of your baby should come first, which you don't seem bothered about. And you're not a new mum, you already have other children/child.

NewIdeasToday Fri 10-Jun-16 12:09:34

Hope you and your baby are well today OP and you can get home soon so you can relax more. Congratulations on your new arrival.

Slothlikesundays Fri 10-Jun-16 12:17:22

Get a grip. No doubt if they had discharged you both straight away and something had happened you would be the first to sue/go to daily mail. "Ruined your experience of being a new mum" is ridiculous. It would be more ruined if your baby ended up in scbu.
I suggest you take a deep breath, accept things don't always go to plan with childbirth (or ever) and get on with it.

sammyjayneex Fri 10-Jun-16 12:36:06

Think a lot of you have been really harsh to be honest.
I've since explained that I was sleep deprived, anxious and stressed which made me feel that way but some of you have thought it would be great to tell me I'm not bothered about him. Sorry but I hate hospitals and didn't want to stay in hospital for reasons I won't go into but doesn't mean i don't care about him, what an awful thing to say to someone.
And yes I have kids already but doesn't mean I'm not a 'new mum' I have just become a mum again, doesn't mean I'm any less important because this isn't my first baby, doesn't make you anymore special with it being your first or your 5th. I hate this notion that because it's your 5th you don't need support and you can 'just get on with it'
All mothers struggle and have anxieties no matter how many you have
You don't know me so is probably why I'm being judged for my feelings but if you were in my head you would think again about judging me

AnnaT45 Fri 10-Jun-16 12:47:28

OP firstly congrats! don't let the responses get you down, I think people are just trying to show you the other side of it. For what's it worth I'm number five in my family and I get so much love from my parents and siblings. It's the best!
I really wouldn't worry about baby sleeping on you. After I had DD she would only sleep on me and we were hospital for five days due to infection. The midwives encouraged me to sleep with baby and said they would keep an eye on me. Maybe ask them?
I totally appreciate your tired and hormonal and no one likes hospitals but it's not forever and I think it's fab the dr is being so cautious. It's not always the case. Get someone to come take baby for a bit and get a few hours sleep that will do you the world of good.
I hope baby is ok? Have they said anymore today?

GameOfGroans Fri 10-Jun-16 16:37:56

Congratulations on your new baby op! I don't think you deserve some of the harsh responses you have got, please don't let them get to you. We all know how tired and emotional you feel after birth.

I think deep down you know you are a teeny bit unreasonable to think the doctors are keeping you in for no good reason, especially if there's even a slight risk your baby may be unwell. But I totally understand how vulnerable and alien you must be feeling stuck in hospital as I felt exactly the same. There's really nothing like getting home after going through childbirth!

With luck your baby will soon get the all clear and you can be home in your own bed soon. Good luck and congratulations again flowers

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