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Anyone tried for VBAC but ended with emcs?

(13 Posts)
Flymetothemoonrealsoon Tue 17-May-16 20:46:57

How did you feel afterwards? I'm worried I will feel like a failure and a complete fool for not having just gone for an ELCS. I don't know why I think like this as logically I know there's no harm really with either outcome so long as we are all healthy. I initially felt really positive about my emcs with DC1 (it was definitely the best option given the circumstances) but then some months later felt like a failure. I can't put my finger on why. Whether it was something someone said or just me starting to doubt myself. Is it easier to cope with the second time round? Or does it compound that same feeling? Are you still glad you tried for VBAC. I know the VBAC might go well but I feel I should also prepare myself for another emcs too just in case. Is anyone willing to share their experience?

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sdaisy26 Wed 18-May-16 19:20:44

Yes I did. I was so upset after my first emcs, really felt like a failure & cried over it probably every day for the first year. It was so important to me to 'get it right' second time around. Unhealthily so. I was quite worried about how I would feel if I did end up with another section - friends have since admitted they were really concerned.

However, I did end up with a second emcs - but it couldn't have felt more different from my first. I was so well supported - because we knew it could be a section we had been able to consider all our preferences for that & they were facilitated as much as possible given it was an emergency situation. Plus, I knew I had really tried. I'd given it everything but due to factors outside of my control it wasn't to be. I don't regret the vbac attempt or the emcs one bit any more.

Yes, I'm sad that I will never get to experience a vaginal delivery but 2 years on from #2 I can truthfully say I really don't think about it any more.

I hope you are able to find a decision that you will be comfortable with

Cinnamon2013 Wed 18-May-16 19:34:31

I just wanted to say good luck and I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you. It's really hard! I opted for ELCS in the end (after EMCS first time). It was a really positive, healing experience, more than I'd imagined it could be. I know your question wasn't about that but I'd agree with previous poster that if you go in with your birth preferences etc even if you do have to have a section (hopefully not - and v likely not) it could be very different this time, and better.

Cinnamon2013 Wed 18-May-16 19:35:22

Ps congrats on your pregnancy

Flymetothemoonrealsoon Wed 18-May-16 21:59:21

Thanks for your posts. Their really helpful. sdaisy I think I'm a bit like you were. I seem a bit obsessed with making it work. I wonder if there's anything I can do to calm myself down a bit. Logically I know a lot of its outside my control but I keep looking at every possible thing that I could possibly do to increase my chances and it seems far too much now. Especially since I plan to have a doula who will be able to advise me anyway.

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Flymetothemoonrealsoon Wed 18-May-16 22:00:53

Cinnamon it's good to hear the cs was a healing experience. Do you think that's because it was calmer?

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BikeRunSki Wed 18-May-16 22:11:33

Yes, me. I have a uterine rupture and haemorrhage after 7 hrs labour (got to 10cm), DD's heart stopped and I had a crash section under GA. we both could have died, but we neither of us did, with no ill effects. Never felt like s failure.

Flymetothemoonrealsoon Thu 19-May-16 15:20:42

Wow! bikeskirun that sounds really scary. Did you feel it was handled really well by the medical team? It's reassuring the know that they can manage that situation and make sure everyone is okay. You should be really proud of yourself and Your DD for coping with that. Thanks so much for sharing your experience.

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Cinnamon2013 Thu 19-May-16 15:33:01

Yes, much calmer. Also my birth preferences were followed - I held the baby right away this time, skin on skin in the theatre. Recovery far better as drugs etc were all planned and measured carefully. Music. Nice chat with surgeon before and after. For me the big change was baby was healthy (first time round the heartbeat stopped etc). If not for that particular part of the experience and my anxiety I would have tried for VBAC. I'll always feel a tiny bit sad never to have given birth vaginally. But all things considered it wasn't right for me. It sounds like it would be for you.

Cinnamon2013 Thu 19-May-16 15:34:56

Sorry bit unclear - both babies healthy in the end! But first went to NICU so I didn't see him

BikeRunSki Thu 19-May-16 19:49:03

Flyme it was fine. The medical team reacted quickly and it was all over very quickly. I was unconscious for most of it! DH was a bit worried for a while. The mw came out of theatre and handed him DD, but don't tell him whether I was ok! He said he was sat in the corridor for 2 hours with DD wrapped up in a blanket wondering if I was ok and praying DD didn't wake up and want feeding.

BubbleandSqueeeek Fri 20-May-16 09:36:43

I'm like you, have been obsessed with VBAC for during whole of pregnancy, so much so that I broke down in the consultants office when he mentioned the mere possibility of an ELCS. I'm 40 weeks today and I've calmed a bit about it now. I'm having a S&S today and booked for one next Friday too. Then if cervix is not looking at all favourable, we'll discuss booking me in for a section within the next day or two - consultant's reasoning being that if cervix is not ready, an induction is unlikely to work (only pessary or balloon) and I could be in exactly the same position as last time with long induced labour and a traumatic crash section. This makes me sad and I'd like to wait even longer without interference, but I'm also terrified of a repeat of last time, and a half planned section seems a slightly lesser evil.

I don't want a CS, not because of feeling like a failure, but the recovery (physically and mentally) is bloody awful. Trying to remain positive now which is hard as the days tick by, but as long as baby comes out healthy, I'll cope either way. Good luck with your birth.l x

wombat57 Fri 20-May-16 11:52:18

I had a ECS during my attempt for VBAC.

I actually was approved for the home birth, which ended up in a very traumatic c-section.

I did not feel like a failure, but was just glad that all was ok in the end.

This time, if all is approved by the end of the pregnancy, I'll go for a VBA2C.
But I have decided on several things.

1. All has to be ok BEFORE the labour starts. Position. Size of the baby. Condition of my scars (they measure them here).

2. I will have a private agreement with the OB of my choice (meaning she sits there with me through the labour).

3. If there is no progress after 12-16 hours (last time I got stuck on 4cm for almost 18) and I am not fully dilated or close to be fully delated, I will go for a slightly less ECS,even if baby is not in distress

4. During labour no pain relief.

5. And trying to be as active as I can.

Why I decided to give a VBA2C a chance? Recovery after c-section sucks. I already have 2 little ones. I, theoretically might want another child, and with 3 scars on my uterus it might be dangerous.
Last c-section was a complete nightmare and I almost died from the blood loss.

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