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(12 Posts)
monkerina Tue 23-Feb-16 21:30:32

Not really sure what I want to get out of this, just to rant probably... I'm 40+5 today with DC1, and am getting pressure to book an induction which I don't want. I've been practising hypnobirthing and ideally would like a waterbirth in the local midwife-led unit with as few drugs as possible, in order to give my child what I consider to be a peaceful entrance to the world, a good start, and to enable myself to feel in control (have had significant issues since a teenager with depression, lack of control and feelings of inadequacy). I accept that if the baby shows signs of distress, this goes out the window and really the most important thing is that he arrives safely.

DH and I tried for 2 years to conceive this child, with 2 miscarriages along the way and infertility issues on my side (very irregular periods, little ovulation) and finally succeeded. My body doesn't seem great at doing things to schedule, so I'm not surprised to be overdue and have always expected it- was just not really prepared enough for the mental impact. At a hospital appointment today induction was heavily pushed for 40+12 with a very one-sided view presented; risk of stillbirth increased etc. I don't really want to be induced due to increased likelihood of cascade of interventions, impact on baby etc, and I've felt all along that nature knows best and baby will arrive when he's ready; so requested monitoring instead if I get that far, hospital agreed with poor grace, but DH now seems to feel I've made the wrong decision and tells me that 'we' need to think about my decision again this time next week.

I've felt pretty unsupported this last 9 months; although he's been dragged along to NCT, he just refuses to put effort into understanding why I've arrived at my preferences (I'm not very articulate so eg have asked him to read the intro to hypnobirthing, and my birth plan, which hasn't been done) and was shocked when I told him I needed him to be my birth partner- he expected to be in the waiting room, waiting to be presented with a clean baby and a cigar. Frankly I feel like it's a bloody cheek to step in at the 11th hour with opinions when I feel I've spent the last 9 months obsessing about this pregnancy and its risks essentially alone.

Being stressed and utterly miserable is unlikely to produce circumstances conducive to naturally going into labour, so I'm creating a self-fulfilling prophecy, aren't I?

OP’s posts: |
WifOfBif Tue 23-Feb-16 22:00:12

You don't have to be induced. You know that, but I would weigh up the pros and cons and decide what's best for you and baby. You can push for daily monitoring instead if you wish.

I did hypnobirthing too and really didn't want to be induced. My baby was expected to be large, and my consultant wanted to induce me at 40+5. I compromised and agreed to the pessaries as this would allow me to move around and keep some element of control. I absolutely didn't want to go on the drip. My waters ended up breaking on the morning of my induction anyway, so it didn't happen in the end.

You still have plenty of time to go into labour naturally, hopefully it will happen soon for you X

monkerina Tue 23-Feb-16 22:06:54

Thank you Wif- think I just wanted to feel heard.

OP’s posts: |
Lj8893 Tue 23-Feb-16 22:13:56

You sound like you have a really good grip and awareness of what you want and what is necessary op. Stick to your guns, an induction is your choice and nobody else's.

is there anybody else you could have as a birthing partner that might be a little more supportive and better as your advocate? Family member or friend?

bigbadbarry Tue 23-Feb-16 22:21:13

You sound really well informed. I know it's a horrible hard time to be asked to be strong (I went 18 days over with DD1 and endured my midlife asking what point I would consent to be induced with Dd2 right from my booking in appointment. Unless NiCE guidelines have changed in the past 6 years then they have to "offer" daily monitoring; they do not have to induce. Of course they don't have to let you into the midwife unit if they are uncomfortable but you still have loads of time before you have to make that decision.
Is it too late to find another birth partner (maybe a doula?)

monkerina Tue 23-Feb-16 22:41:55

Thanks ladies. I have been thinking about a doula- the acupuncturist I saw (part of the long road to pregnancy) is one and I feel comfortable with her, but was just really hoping he'd surprise me and step up. Think I was hoping for more than he might be able to offer- he's a genuinely lovely person, honestly, but we all have things we're just rubbish at, and I think I've found his!

OP’s posts: |
monkerina Tue 23-Feb-16 22:43:28

Bigbadbarry, I don't know how you coped with that midwife!!

OP’s posts: |
bigbadbarry Wed 24-Feb-16 11:40:53

Well, when it came to DD3 I had a lovely hippy private midwife instead!

monkerina Fri 26-Feb-16 07:54:44

Just in case anyone would like an update- despite the stress, I went into labour naturally late on Weds, gave birth in the midwife-led unit's pool with no drugs 10 hours after first contractions, and he's gorgeous smile obv no time to get doula, but DH did everything I needed so all was well! Thanks all for your support, it was invaluable x

OP’s posts: |
bigbadbarry Fri 26-Feb-16 09:17:50

Woohoo! Well done xx

WifOfBif Fri 26-Feb-16 11:30:21

Ahh wow! Congratulations!! He is beautiful and you look amazing after just giving birth <jealous>. flowers

Lj8893 Fri 26-Feb-16 14:36:21

Congratulations!! flowers

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