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Previous traumatic birth - Choosing elective c section or going for natural?!

(5 Posts)
epeters6810 Wed 17-Feb-16 14:33:16

My son is now 18 months old and I am 29 weeks pregnant. I had a lovely labour with my son until pushing and ended up being fully dilated at 6pm but he was not delivered until 3:30am by emergency forceps giving me horrendous tearing which took over 3 months to heal, and in all honesty I feel have my slight PND as I felt I did not bond with him when he was born and was often very resentful towards him for the pain I endured which is a horrendous way to feel about your newborn. Luckily I had an extremely supportive OH and family and everything is great now. I later found out that he had not descended fully and was also at an angle meaning it would have been extremely difficult for me to give birth naturally, the severe tears were due to them having to turn him and pull with the forceps. He had been back to back the day before labour and although i told midwives this they had seemed to think he had turned enough on arrival at hospital that it wouldn't cause any issues.

Anyway i have just been diagnosed with sciatica in this pregnancy and have barely been able to stand for more than 20 minutes already. I am concerned that due to the amount of rest I am having and from my 28 week examination I feel baby is already not in a very good position for birth. I so wanted to have a water birth as my labour in the birthing pool last time was wonderful but recently as the pain with my back has got more horrendous I'm terrified I'm not setting myself up for a good labour. I have also read about people just not having the correct pelvis shape for natural births which part of me thinks I had with my son, I am petite 5" and he was 8lb4 with a huge head. I am in so many minds about whether to have a section and even some of my friends that have had them say there are pros and cons. Baby no.2 already feels like he is in completely the wrong position but I know at 29 weeks this still may change, I am also very concerned that second babies are bigger which may give me many more problems in this labour.

I am thinking about going to a private growth scan as I first thought this would help me decide whether I want a section or not but I still don't think it will assist my decision. There are so many reasons why I would like both types of birth. And I wanted to have my mind made up by my 32 week appt with midwife so she could start proceedings with consultant.

Apologies for the long message I am just looking for some advice/peoples own experiences/support. Thank you.

kiki22 Wed 17-Feb-16 17:17:43

I'm having a section this time round I decided that before we even started trying I cant go through forceps again I don't give a hoot who tells me it might not happen again I'm never doing that over. I want a happy calm experience this time.

epeters6810 Wed 17-Feb-16 17:59:31

Thank you, yes I agree it was pretty horrendous.

lfitzgerald100 Thu 18-Feb-16 09:41:44

Sounds like you had a rough time the first time round!

I'm 38+3 weeks and have chosen to have a elcs (on Tuesday eek) because I had a traumatic birth the first time round too.

I had pre eclampsia and after they tried to induce me at 34 weeks and nothing happened, my babies heart beat stopped 3 times and was rushed in for an emergency section, turned out he had the cord round his neck twice and tied in a knot, he was only 4lb when he was born.

I didn't see him for 24hrs which broke my heart and he was in scbu for 10 days over Xmas and I was left on a ward filled with women who had had their babies and I was lepton my own.

It has traumatised me so much I developed post natal depression which went undiagnosed and then went on to have depression, anxiety and panic attacks, so I decided this time round I wanted a planned section, so I am in control and I know what is happening instead of waiting for labour to come only for something to possibly go wrong, as this time round I'm estimated to be having a baby that's 10-11lb and I didn't dilate the last time they tried to induce me so they don't think I'll dilate again!

I was adamant I was going to have a vbac right up until last week and I changed my mind, so you can change your mind at any time.

Do your hospital have a birth choices class, I found that very helpful?

epeters6810 Thu 18-Feb-16 12:32:08

Thanks for your reply. I haven't had a growth scan so don't know how big baby is but my first son was 8lb4 so they say second babies are bigger. I've read that electing for a c section is safer than ending up having an emergency one. My husband and I were pretty sure we wanted a c section to avoid any worries but now I'm in two minds after reading so many bad things about them in pros and cons! I am like you and would dread to go through labour for something to go wrong again I like the idea of knowing when baby is coming and baby not needing to get into any distress beforehand during labour. I have not spoke to my midwife yet about it next appt is in two weeks and I kind of wanted to have made my choice by then. I have had a consultant spot because of my last birth but she was pretty much useless. She said I could have an elective if i wanted but there was no reason why I couldn't have a natural birth but obviously the same complications may arise they can't predict what position baby will be in until I go into labour, which isn't very useful and I wasn't offered a growth scan so thought about getting one privately. As I am also worried that being petite any bigger babies may not actually fit which is the problem with my first son! It's such a tricky time. I hope everything goes well with your birth I'm sure it will!

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