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Home birth with a toddler around - let's talk logistics!(12 Posts)
If you've had a home birth for a second or subsequent child, please talk to me about what you did with the older kid(s)! If you're considering a home birth for your second, what are your plans?
I had a home birth for DD: it was lovely and I'm keen for another one with this baby. DD will be just shy of 2 when I'm due, she's at nursery and is used to being with other people, and sleeps through the night (I think these things might be relevant!).
In my imaginary perfect birth, what will happen is that I'll put DD to bed as normal, eat my tea, then go into labour and have the baby with miniumum fuss at home, we'll all get some sleep, then get up in the morning and introduce the two of them. I suspect it probably won't happen this way!
I'll have someone on hand to take DD/come and sit at ours if it's overnight in the event of an emergency and me needing to go to hospital, so that's covered.
It's more if it goes smoothly - I guess I should have someone around for her anyway? With my first labour, I didn't really need DH much so not sure if we need an extra person. I'm thinking if it's at night and she wakes up, he can go to her. In the day time maybe having someone to entertain her would be useful...
I'd appreciate your thoughts and partilarly anything glaringly obvious I don't seem to have considered!
I had a home birth with my first and planning on doing the same when I have baby no.2 in 8 weeks(ish). My ds will also be almost 2 when this baby's born, so very similar situation to you.
If I go into labour during the day then dh will look after ds for the first couple of hours and then as things progress, one of dh's friends has offered to look after ds at his house. My mum will be my birth partner but my dh obviously wants to be there for the actual giving birth bit.
I did consider keeping ds at our house but after reading rl experiences of home birth on the internet, I changed my mind. Lots of women said that their labours only really got going properly once their dc was out of the house, possibly because they couldn't relax and focus properly on giving birth when they were still in parenting mode, if that makes sense. I was also a bit worried that something might go wrong during labour (though unlikely), and I would want ds out of the house if that happened.
Otoh, I have also read stories about women who had their young dcs still in the house with them when they gave birth and not had any issues. It probably depends on you and how well you think your dc is likely to deal with it all.
I had a home birth for dd2. Dd1 was 2.5.
I considered having her there but I'm really glad I didn't now. I was a silent labourer with dd1 and so expected to be the same with dd2 but I made uncontrollable animal noises during the birth and I think it would have scared dd1.
My mum came and got her when things got going, dd2 was born at 7pm, midwives didn't leave til after 10 but which point dd1 was asleep at my mums so she came home the next morning
I had DD2 when DD1 was at nursery. DD3 was born in the night so both big girls were asleep. I don't appear to have unusually obliging children so my theory is that my body knew when it was ok!
Home birth with both mine - my mum came and got DS when I went into labour (he was 3). As it was he could have stayed home as I went into labour 9pm ish and DD was not at 1am. Although he stayed with his nana an extra day which actually was lovely for us to spend those first 24hours or so just with DD
I arranged for a close friend to take my two older children if I didn't have the baby overnight while they were asleep.
When it became apparent that the 2 & 3 year olds were likely to wake up imminently, DH called my friend & she came to get them - it was about 7am, but I knew she wouldn't mind as she's an early riser.
Once the DC were out of the house baby number three arrived within half an hour. DH picked up the older ones at lunchtime & brought them back to meet their baby brother.
I laboured for a while alone downstairs in the night, until DD1 woke up. I thought I'd want her around but I felt like she needed to go somewhere else, so when she woke up my husband dropped her at my mums.
6 hours later my mum brought her back to meet her new sister.
I think you'll know what's best at the time, but have a couple of plans in place. I was very noisy at the end of birthing my second. My eldest would have been terrified.
Dd was a similar age when dc2 was born. It went pretty much as your ideal - waters went at lunchtime but no contractions so I forewarned mws, I put dd1 to bed, ate pizza while in early stages, laboured in living room, called mw, got in pool, had baby, got into bed, had a sleep, dd1 woke up in the morning and met her sister, then DH took her to childcare and we all went back to
I had a home birth for dc2 and went into labour at 7am ish but ds wasn't picked up by his grandad until 12ish. I remember doing lots of pacing and bouncing on my ball and have a lovely photo of ds and I facing each other over the ball
before dd ruined his life as he knew it!
He went and then I got into the pool soon after and dd was born at 2pm. Midwives didn't leave until 6ish when ds came home and met his new sister before bedtime.
It was a beautiful and calm birth.
I'm glad ds wasn't there tbh as I collapsed on the sofa afterwards and was bleeding everywhere with horrendous after pains
worse than labour as I fed dd. I wouldn't have coped with another child there too! Also, dd was a bit grey at first and needed to be rubbed into life, so dh needed to be with her.
Thanks everyone! This gives me hope!
bigbad that sounds perfect - I hope I'm that lucky!
It seems like having someone on hand to come and get DD is probably the way to go. I think I would find it easier to focus if I knew she was sorted and could switch off from prenting mode!
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