Feeling like I should have a home birth

(11 Posts)
CosmicMonkey Fri 22-Jan-16 21:21:00

I am pregnant with my second child and my midwife keeps talking about me being a great person for a home birth - first birth straight forward and relatively quick for a first (4.5 hrs), second degree tear but not problems post delivery, I am only 26 a healthy weight and still managing to keep up with my pre-pregnancy gym routine. All tests coming back fine and fingers crossed the pregnancy will stay low risk.

With all the above she has recommended a home birth and is quite insistent it is my best option. While I can list many benefits of me having a home birth the problem is I really don't feel comfortable with the idea. My overriding thought is "what if something goes wrong" and obviously the idea is to remain calm so labour progresses.

Is it ok to just say no? I feel like I should be able to get past the "what if" feeling and have the home birth. I have ordered a hypnobirthing CD to help with my worries but although I think it will help me deal with the contractions a little better than last time I don't think it will help me get to a place where I am happy to have a home birth.

How do I explain to my midwife I would feel better at the midwife unit?

LumpySpaceCow Fri 22-Jan-16 21:28:31

Just say no. It's your body and your choice and you shouldn't have to explain anything. Wherever you give birth you need to feel comfortable, and if you feel most comfortable in the midwifery led unit then go there. Thank her for her advice but tell her you have decided that birthing on the MLU is the right decision for you.

AngelBlue12 Fri 22-Jan-16 21:29:12

Just say that you aren't comfortable with a home birth. They can't refuse to let you have your baby where you want.

I do not like home births and always said no - I ended up having a home birth with DD5 as there wasn't time to get to the hospital! Everything was fine but if we have another baby I would still opt for hospital/midwife led unit just in case anything were to happen.

pootlebug Fri 22-Jan-16 21:30:00

Just say no. My 2nd and 3rd were fantastic home births that I wouldn't change for the world….but I wanted to have them at home, and felt comfortable and confident. If you don't feel like that, then home isn't the best place to be imo.

ICJump Fri 22-Jan-16 21:46:00

I'm a huge advocate for homebirth but...
The best place for a woman to give birth is where she wants. How you feel is so important.
If it was me I'd put a little home birth kit together however 41/2 hours is short for a first labour and being prepared for a shorter one is worthwhile

LumpishAndIllogical Fri 22-Jan-16 21:52:32

I am pregnant with my second, similar health and age to you and I have had midwives strongly 'suggest' homebirth to me. However, I want to give birth in a midwife-led birthing suit.

I think the thing about homebirth is it makes many women feel more comfortable, but if it does not then it defeats the object of it.

I had to be very firm with my midwife and say no to homebirth, so don't feel bad about doing the same.

It's all about you, and you can change your mind too!

fruitlovingmonkey Fri 22-Jan-16 21:55:21

It's not her choice, it's yours. She shouldn't be pushing her views on to you.

CosmicMonkey Fri 22-Jan-16 22:17:58

Thank you so much for your responses - made me feel much better about HB just not being for me.

I agree with having had a short first labour I should be prepared incase a HB is unavoidable but definitely feel (atm anyway) that I would be more comfortable at the midwife unit.

I will have DH at my next appointment so will hopefully feel more confident about saying what birth I prefer as will have back up (I am a bit of a people pleaser and end up agreeing to things I don't want to as don't feel I can say no!).

JellyBaby26 Sat 23-Jan-16 16:12:57

I was encouraged to have one and got the pool etc. if she had been born at home she probably would t be here so you do what you want!!

It's no ones decision but yours....

Fourormore Sat 23-Jan-16 16:18:24

I'd have a read of the homebirth.org.uk website but as pp said, if you don't feel safe at home then actually home birth isn't the best place for you to give birth.

blackkat1978 Tue 26-Jan-16 01:30:27

I loved my home birth & found it a more positive experience then my previous birth in the midwife led unit but ultimately you should (ideally) give birth where you feel most comfortable. It's your choice & no one should be pushed into something they don't want. You don't need to explain your choice to anyone, just tell Her what your choice is

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