PTSD- help for dads

[frangipani13]

No idea if this is the right place to post- apologies if not...
I had a fairly tough first birth nearly four months ago, long induction process that included lots of intervention and nearly ended up with ecs (forceps delivery in the end, baby was then in nicu for a week).
Anyway, I'm fine but my OH is not coping. He keeps getting flash backs to some of the more gruesome parts of the labour and is very tearful /down which is completely unlike him. I'm wondering if anyone else's DH suffered what I imagine could be PTSD and if so what sort of help they were able to access? We're planning to do a birth after thoughts meeting to try to make sense of it all and he's seeing the GP today but my fear is that help for dads just isn't there. i hope I'm wrong

[gamerchick]

Would a debrief help him I wonder? Talking it out with someone who could explain the medical things might help settle his mind a bit. It must have been awful for him to witness feeling that helpless.

[Junosmum]

Seeing his wife and child in that situation must have been incredibly stressful/ traumatic. I'm sure that the gp will help, though referrals can take ages. A meeting with the hospital/ midwife may also help. I think ptsd is the drs domain regardless of the cause. They should certainly take him seriously.

[hayleycookie]

My DH had PTSD after my birth. It was exactly as you are describing. He wouldn't eat at all for about a week, couldn't sleep, kept getting flash backs, was very down in himself. I told my midwife who gave me a number for ''birth after thoughts'' so he could talk to someone who knew exactly what happened during my birth, why, and explain it all to him. The other thing that helped was speaking to my dad (his dad isn't around). My dad took him out to KFC, they sat down for a long time swapping birth stories and having a good chat about how he felt. He then spoke to my brother (also a dad) about it. I think that really helped him. He felt he couldn't talk to me about it.
I hope your OH gets better soon. There really should be more help for the dads available. I'm 31 weeks pregnant now and dreading him getting PTSD again, but hoping this birth will be less traumatic, and now he knows what to expect it should affect him less....hopefully!

[frangipani13]

Thank you Hayleycookie- it's a crying shame there isn't more support available. I will chase up the after thoughts appt. Sadly his dad is not a talker. The GP has referred him to a counsellor but as he is not a high priority no idea when the appt will come through. Lots of luck to you for a calmer delivery this time round. Is an ECS an option for you?

[hayleycookie]

Yes it's an option we're looking at as it could potentially save a lot of stress. One of the problems with my first birth was that my son was so big and they didn't expect it. I ended up induced over 2 days and losing a serious amount of blood. They class 500 ml as a big loss and I lost 1500ml! This baby is expected to be big too and I'm anaemic so losing a large amount of blood this time would be...bad lol

The only thing is I'm worrying about the recovery. My son is 3 now and I can't stand being immobile, not able to drive or lift etc.

Glad the GP is doing something about it by referring him to a counsellor. Try the after thoughts as well though. They will be able to speak to him pretty much immediately about it