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HELP NEEDED!!!!!! - HOME BIRTH AT 42+ WEEKS PREGNANT

(101 Posts)
kimberleyholistic Mon 04-Jan-16 00:53:13

Hi,
This is a long shot, I am overdue and looking to find a midwife/doula, anyone with some experience where I can give birth at home.

I was due to give birth at UCLH birthing pool, but because I am overdue my 2 weeks (their records) 4 days (by my records, from date of conception) it has caused concern.

Long story short, I agreed to go in for monitoring baby's heart beat, whilst moving positions, baby's heart beat dipped (I know now is normal). Awful midwife called in consultants who were like animals. Standing around me telling me I am now high risk and I have to have an induction. They even said better an induction than a dead baby. I am a very strong woman and have really done my research on EDD dates, induction, truth about still births etc... Although I was in floods of tears and an emotional wreck, three hours of continuos monitoring, it was shown baby is healthy and so am I. At this point I was able to discharge myself. I am making an official complaint as they used fear and incorrect data to try and get me induced. Effing wrong!!!!

No way am I allowing these controlling and manipulative midwives to intervene. My question - is there any independent midwives out there or if anyone can recommend solutions to a home birth??

I am have labour pains slowly, but I truly baby won't come out until I feel safe. I am setting up a fb page to help all women stand their ground.

Thanks
Kimberley

Chippednailvarnish Mon 04-Jan-16 01:02:18

Well to be brutally honest, if you think a bunch of overworked NHS doctors and midwives would take the time and make the effort to get you to go down a certain route because they didn't think your baby was at risk, you are frankly deluded.

Stop pissing around on Facebook and either ask for a second opinion at a different hospital with the correct test results or make a complaint through PALS with a view to them changing your current birthplan.
However your post sounds like you are more concerned about getting your own way than finding the best clinical outcome...

Doublebubblebubble Mon 04-Jan-16 01:12:00

I agree 100% with what chipped has said

Are you a hcp op?? I'm guessing no (your name kind of gives your view away a little)

as someone who has gone through the abject horror of a stillbirth (of twins) I simply cant understand why you would choose to go against the best advice for your baby... Why even go to the hospital if you didn't think there was a problem? Why would they (the drs) go out of their way to apparently annoy you?? YOUR BABY'S HEART DIPPED/WAS DIPPING and you discharged yourself to start making a complaint on facebook.

Your post has made me angry. Sorry not sorry

Doublebubblebubble Mon 04-Jan-16 01:14:58

They even said better an induction than a dead baby do you not believe this??

I'm literally shaking and in tears - so angry and upset!

babyiwantabump Mon 04-Jan-16 01:17:34

Sorry but heart rate decelerations are not normal. Consultants will not try and trick you into having your baby safely . They want the best outcome.

More fool you for taking that risk .

HooseRice Mon 04-Jan-16 01:18:11

What is wrong in your eyes with being induced?

Boosiehs Mon 04-Jan-16 01:19:31

Sorry OP but I think you are being very foolish. You are not a doctor, or a midwife, and you really think that the HCP at uCL are doing this to be mean to you?

Go and have the inducting and hopefully a healthy baby, rather than pissing about demanding that your birth plan is more important than the health of your child.

BBQueen Mon 04-Jan-16 01:21:17

"better an induction than a dead baby"

They are not saying this out of cruelty or to try and manipulate you in any way. They are saying it because it's true.

An induction may mean you don't get the birth experience you've dreamed of. So what? You get a lovely healthy baby at the end and you'll wonder why you ever cared so much about a home birth.

MadFestiveGnome Mon 04-Jan-16 01:23:02

How do you know heart rate dips are normal? And what's the truth about still birth you mention in your OP?

I'd check your sources are accurate and based on evidence. Doctors and midwives have you and your baby's best interests at heart. There's no ulterior motive.

MaisieDotes Mon 04-Jan-16 01:23:08

double it's ok flowers come off the thread of its upsetting you my love.

OP I don't know how you can be so cavalier about this, my view is best listen to the doctors.

MaisieDotes Mon 04-Jan-16 01:24:12

if it's upsetting you double , I meant

MadFestiveGnome Mon 04-Jan-16 01:26:27

Also OP, I really really wanted a natural hypnobirthing calm water birth. I ended up with an induction and an epidural - but - I had a healthy live baby at the end and we were both fine.

I cared for about five minutes after the birth and haven't cared since. Having a healthy baby is the most important thing.

Doublebubblebubble Mon 04-Jan-16 01:28:56

Oh its definitely upsetting me. I'm just feeding my ds (11 weeks) I had the stillbirth 4 years ago in may. Its still very very raw even now so when I see/read of anyone being so careless it hurts my heart! Will hide the thread now but I will say that I hope that the op takes heed of everyone's words and I hope that the baby is okay....

imwithspud Mon 04-Jan-16 01:32:11

What would they have to gain by scaring you into an induction? Inductions cost the NHS time and money - they wouldn't suggest it if it wasn't necessary. Heart rate dipping really isn't normal, and when you're so overdue it's even more of a worry.

I suggest you give your head a wobble, stop thinking about what you want, start thinking about what your baby needs and be thankful that we live in a country where potentially life saving inductions are an optionhmm

NotSoFancyNancy Mon 04-Jan-16 01:52:32

After having 3 babies his were distressed during labour any dreams of home births are long gone. I'm just glad the midwives/ consultants were there to deliver my babies safely. Please don't risk your baby's life.

bananasandladybirds Mon 04-Jan-16 02:08:51

Better an induction than a dead baby. Unfortunately, being a strong person doesn't change this fact.

I realise you have done your research and are aware of of your own situation, but the facts the doctors are telling you stem from research from mothers and babies worldwide, over many years, in many different healthcare systems.

Your baby may be fine, but they may not. The medical fact that your baby is at high risk is just that- a fact. That is why you are telling you this- they want you and your baby to be safe.

Best of luck with whatever you decide flowers

Room101isWhereIUsedToLive Mon 04-Jan-16 02:39:55

Is this your first baby? Is it the idea of an induction that is putting you off?
I think at this stage you have left it too late to think of engaging a private midwife.
I was, like yourself, determined to have a natural labour with my first. It didn't happen. My dd was large and I started bleeding continuously once my contractions had started. I ended up having my waters broken and when that didn't work, being put on a syntocin drip. After many hours, I had a c-section.
It was horrible at the time but ten years later doesn't matter a jot.
I had a vbac with my ds, had access to a pool but didn't like it. That was also pretty awful. Giving birth means a baby has to come out somehow and it is rarely going to be a pleasant experience. What my two labours taught me, is that it doesn't matter how the baby comes out, as long as they do and with minimal harm to both you and the baby while doing so.
We are lucky to live in a time and a place where there is the knowledge and tools to minimise the risk of something that can (and still does in many places in the world) kill.

MangosteenSoda Mon 04-Jan-16 02:44:19

Do you have a birth partner / someone who is supporting you? If so, what do they think?

You are entitled to feel sad about not having the birth experience you want, but it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. You need to have the safest birth possible and if that means induction, just go for it.

As pp have said, the doctors have your best interests at heart and they are working according to best practice.

Go back to the hospital and have your lovely baby, because that's all that matters.

recall Mon 04-Jan-16 03:22:05

Its a shame you didn't do your research into booking a private midwife - why did you leave it so late ?

CallaLilli Mon 04-Jan-16 03:31:44

This is a wind-up isn't it? Nobody could be that stupid and/or deluded, surely?

DropYourSword Mon 04-Jan-16 03:41:33

Pre-labour heart rate dipping isn't actually normal. It may be of only minor concern DURING labour depending on other features of the CTG.

In your opinion is a home birth more important than a live baby? Because that's the potential outcome (and I say this as someone who really does advocate for home birth when appropriate).

You would be an absolute fool to complain about them telling you that you are high risk and that they recommend induction. You would probably be the very first to complain if you hadn't been told and the worst happened (with every bloody right!).

I really hope you have a well baby. Lots of people go against medical advice and succeed in their wishes. Lots of others don't. You will have to weigh up what's most important to you. You have to live with your decision and the outcome.

Cerseirys Mon 04-Jan-16 07:55:25

I'm all for natural birth and no interventions but in this case I think it'd be foolish to go against the doctors' advice OP.

Cerseirys Mon 04-Jan-16 07:56:42

Also I can't imagine they would've said "better an induction than a dead baby" lightly - they probably did so as a last resort if you were refusing to listen to them.

GraceKellysLeftArm Mon 04-Jan-16 08:01:56

Ignoring the fact that this is all bonkers...

Is there any doula/mw in their right mind going to take this case on? Can't imagine so.

scaevola Mon 04-Jan-16 08:18:07

There is no way you will find a reputable private midwife who will take on someone at over 40 weeks. They don't just come out for the birth, but need to be aware of your full medical and pregnancy history before deciding if they can take you in safely.

Your best bet would be to go to a different hospital for delivery. At least there is a wide choice in London. I don't know the current admin for that off-hand, but if you don't get through it in time, you can just turn up anywhere in labour (ideally with your notes, they need to know about that pre-labour heart rate dip).

I'll make no comment on what I think of other aspects of your post.

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