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Starting to panic :(

(5 Posts)
twolittleboysonetiredmum Sun 22-Nov-15 21:08:03

As title says, starting to get really scared about labour etc
I'm 38 + 3 with dc3 and planning on a home birth. First dc1 was horrendous 24 hours of back to back labour ending in an episiotomy and forceps. Epidural after 10 hours despite asking for it from the off :/
Dc2 was an unassisted home birth as he came in 1 hr 20 mins. Same experience with contractions but obviously much quicker and whilst scary, much more pleasant.
I'm having a home birth as he came so quickly there's a chance I won't make it to hospital. Midwives have said even if I change my mind that in the time it'll take for someone to come watch our other chn and get to hospital (about 30mins) I need to have rung them and got them to our house.
So I kind of feel like I have no choice about doing it at home. I'm worried about the pain. The vomiting (I puked violently all through both previous) the noise (worried about kids) something going wrong, generally everything.
How can I try and get over this anxiety?! I've only just begun to feel like this as i get nearer. Is home birthing ok? Is my labour likely to be long or short? Any anecdotes, experience or anything much appreciated!

TheWordOfBagheera Mon 23-Nov-15 13:16:26

Oh poor you! flowers

I guess there's no way to know what the labour will be like (although a general trend of labours being quicker with subsequent babies) but I'm sure there's lots you can do in the way of planning to make you less anxious smile.

What age are your other children? Could you have films set up, perhaps a temporary dvd player in their room, so that they are entertained and any noise drowned out (even in the middle of the night if needs be). Ditto with a box of emergency snacks and juice cartons that you can just chuck at them if labour starts quickly!

Are you expecting to be on your own until the midwife arrives? If so, a few large enough tupperwares with easy to clip on lids so that you can be sick, put the lid on, and leave it without a smell or fear of it getting knocked over (unless you can get to the toilet, in which case do that!.

Waterproof sheets are the other thing. Hippychick do great ones that you can get on amazon. They are a bit pricey, but are so soft (not at all plastic-y) that they can stay on your bed all the time. Maybe a spare flat one that you can fling over the sofa of wherever if you don't want to be in bed for it. Also, big tena lady sheets for sitting/lying on during labour, and for after if you bleed a lot, as they can be changed so quickly.

I've had homebirths and found them great as the idea of hospital stressed me out. The midwives came with gas and air and were fab. You can do it!

twolittleboysonetiredmum Mon 23-Nov-15 20:01:23

Thanks for the tips, they're great ideas. Might help me feel slightly more prepared! I'm likely to be on my own for at Least 30 mins unless it's the middle of the night. Were your homebirtgs straightforward? I had such a horrible hospital experience first time round that I do like the idea of being at home. But worry about the consequences of something going wrong or just generally not coping without proper pain relief if it takes too long.

TheWordOfBagheera Tue 24-Nov-15 09:26:31

Yes, they were straightforward thankfully. I was prepared for hospital at a moments notice, but just found my own home environment much more easy to relax in and focus on the labour (and also to just get comfortable - hospital beds are relatively small and uncomfortable!). I know not everyone feels that way, but if you've already had a stressful hospital experience then it sounds like you might be the same!

Have a hospital bag ready to go, and remember that you can change your mind at any time, be that before the labour or during! The midwife will listen to the baby regularly and will call an ambulance at the slightest hint of something amiss. You will already be low-risk if they are happily entertaining the idea of a homebirth, so don't get overly anxious about that side of things. Also, talk to your midwife now about pain relief choices. With my first I had a prescription for pethidine to use if I wanted (I didn't), but I know the regulations have changed and that's no longer an option. Something else may be available though.

I haven't read through it, but this homebirth website might be worth a look www.homebirth.org.uk/

Good luck flowers smile

blackkat1978 Tue 24-Nov-15 19:27:15

My 1st birth was in a mlu but my 2nd was a home birth. I'm not sure whether it was because it was my 2nd birth or the home part but I felt so much more in control of the labour & had a better understanding of what was happening. My 1st labour had been fairly quick &, as I suspected, my 2nd was too but luckily I had some cramps 24 hours before so I had an inkling that He was on his way (born at 41+6).
I had a bag packed for my daughter from 37 weeks & local friends ready to take her if needed (didn't need that in the end as he arrived at 4am just like his big sister & she slept through it).
Definitely get yourself organised. Have some simple meals ready, snacks, DVD s etc (depending on the age of your children).
My midwife panicked me but at the end of the day it's unlikely that emergency will suddenly happen as you & your baby will be monitored by 1 or 2 midwives dedicated just for you & your baby. Read up on breathing techniques.
Good luck but above all believe in yourself. Your body was designed to birth this baby

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