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second child blues

(7 Posts)
24hourM0MMY Fri 20-Nov-15 23:44:14

Just had dd 10 days ago and I'm feeling very detached from ds (4.5year old). I just want to hold him and spend time with him but obviously i'm very busy with the newborn. I just miss him terribly. Is this weird? Can't wait for the baby blues to go away!

MrsMolesworth Sat 21-Nov-15 16:49:47

Congratulations on your second child. Not weird. Very normal. Can you make use of visitors cooing over the newborn to get a chance to cuddle DS and tell him you love him?

NickyEds Sun 22-Nov-15 21:36:01

I found this the most difficult and surprising thing after having dd-I missed ds so much. After 19 months of taking care of just him I missed doing the normal things with him! I made time for him, just little things but I chose two things and did them no matter what. I gave him his bath every night (even though dp had to run it and set everything up) and I watched 2 episodes of Bing together having a cuddle after his nap (a long standing tradition!). I'd feed dd for ages just before and hand her to dp, I'll be honest and say that she did cry a few times but I did it anyway. I know that sounds awful but I really needed that bit of time alone with ds- and he really needed it to.

24hourM0MMY Mon 23-Nov-15 18:41:36

Thanks for your posts. I feel exactly like that, miss him terribly. I try to do something with him everyday, even if its just a trip to the loo with him. I love the new baby, but it's such a drastic change from what was normal just 2 weeks ago that being around ds1 is the only thing that's keeping me grounded and able to keep perspective.

NickyEds Mon 23-Nov-15 21:08:29

It gets easier. Having two just becomes the new normal and you find time somewhere for each of them and absolutely none for yourself!. TBH I was a crap mum in the later stage of my pregnancy, short tempered and grumpy so he's probably getting more quality time now.

Scattymum101 Wed 25-Nov-15 09:51:46

It's so hard. I wasn't expecting it to be so hard with dd2. It took me a while to get things 'back' with dd1 but we're there now and the girls have the most fantastic relationship 9 months on.

shelly001 Wed 25-Nov-15 10:31:54

I wouldn't beat yourself up over this. I'm sure its perfectly normal to feel guilty about giving one child more attention at first.

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