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37 weeks pregnant scared I'll have to give birth alone - has anyone done this?

(24 Posts)
Ihateigglepiggle Fri 11-Sep-15 18:39:27

My DH is going away with work tomorrow - we don't know how long for. He has spoken to his boss who has said if anything happens, he will fly my DH home.

I'm 37 weeks pregnant with DC3. We live in a foreign country and while I have lots of lovely friends, there is nobody I would like to come to the hospital with me. It is absolutely not possible. My mum is here, but she will be looking after my other two DC If I go into labour.

I'm hoping to hear some reassurance from people who have managed this alone before? I'm trying not to freak out too much. My last labour was terrible.

Northernlurker Fri 11-Sep-15 18:41:05

No personal experience sorry. My first thoughts are though when is dh due back? And when did you deliver the other two?

Ihateigglepiggle Fri 11-Sep-15 19:02:02

No idea. He could be gone for as little as a week. Or more. He has to move a boat from one location to another. The areas are suffering bad weather at the moment and they can't tell how long it is going to take. DH can fly home if something happens, but realistically if something happens, I will be finished giving birth before he's even on a flight.
I had DS1,7 years ago at 44 weeks. DS 2, 2 years ago at 40 weeks.
This baby, is a girl and feels low down already. But maybe I'm stressing.

rosieliveson1 Fri 11-Sep-15 19:04:49

If you have no friend who you'd like with you, could a friend stay with your children so your mum can go with you?

Ihateigglepiggle Fri 11-Sep-15 19:15:33

No Rosie, my mum is lovely and a complete savior as far as looking after my kids and helping out, but she doesn't speak the language here and is a sensitive soul. I would end up having to look after her instead of the other way around. She couldn't communicate my needs, and I would have to constantly reassure her, which I probably won't be able to do. Thanks for the suggestion though.

BriocheBriocheBrioche Fri 11-Sep-15 19:21:06

Is it possible to find a doula in your area?
You aren't in the South East of France by any chance are you?

Ihateigglepiggle Fri 11-Sep-15 19:25:48

Brioche, do you know me shock smile

hullabaloo234 Fri 11-Sep-15 19:28:16

I did with my first child, and honestly it was fine! Didn't have to worry about if anyone else was ok, I could just focus 100% on what I needed to do.

If you have to go it alone I am confident you won't find it a negative experience smile

5678group Fri 11-Sep-15 19:35:50

I could be in a similar position, also 37weeks and I've booked a doula.
I didn't have an easy birth first time round so I need to know I've got some support.
Just wanted to say good luck.

Ihateigglepiggle Fri 11-Sep-15 19:37:00

Thanks hullabaloo- exactly what I wanted to hear. Is there anything I need to watch out for / be extra aware of?

Ihateigglepiggle Fri 11-Sep-15 19:38:09

5678 - how long have you been in touch with the doula? Have I let it too late do you think?

hullabaloo234 Fri 11-Sep-15 19:39:35

I would say that if you have any strong preferences for anything, make it clear from the outset in case you struggle to articulate yourself once things really get going. Other than that, just relax and try to enjoy it-you'll definitely enjoy the peace afterwards when it's just you and the baby and you get all the snuggles grin

Every1KnowsJeffHesUsuallyACunt Fri 11-Sep-15 19:45:51

Yes, me. With my third baby (My older 3 dc have a different dad) He was an arse and refused to come. My mum looked after my 2 toddlers. I had nobody else.

It was nerve racking yes,I was induced and it was very quick but it was also empowering and the second I looked down at her little face, I felt like I could do anything in the world. She was mine. All mine. I did it. I grew her and I gave birth to her. I remember sobbing with this huge grin and cuddling her all night just staring at her.

You can 100% do it, Op. You just need to make the midwives fully aware of the situation. Listen to them. And focus on your baby.

Ihateigglepiggle Fri 11-Sep-15 19:54:00

Thanks hullabaloo and every1knows - you've calmed me, at least for the night. I'll call the midwife this week to talk to them, and hopefully this will help. I have no strong preferences other than having a safe delivery.

It's great to hear of other women doing this alone.

5678group Fri 11-Sep-15 20:17:40

I've been in touch with her but she was back in the UK for the summer so haven't actually met her. Winging it slightly.... meeting her at the weekend. So you definitely haven't left it too late.
Are there any expat groups where you are? Facebook groups? That's how I found mine, through recommendations on birth groups.

Northernlurker Fri 11-Sep-15 20:19:42

I'm pleased to read that if anything you're a slow cooker rather than a microwave uterus grin My third arrived bang on the same gestation as number 2. Hopefully your dh will make it back.
A doula sounds great. I doubt you've left it too late if there's somebody local to you.

3littlebadgers Fri 11-Sep-15 20:25:38

Hi I've not read the thread fully, but just to reasure you it will be fine. I was alone for both dc1 and dc2 and, even though I have a tiny pain threshold, managed surprisingly well. In fact the only time I got upset in my labour with dc 2 was when I could hear DH enquiring about me, as I then started to worry about him rather than myself. I was also abroad at the time and men were not allowed. It isn't your first dc so just focus on your body and you'll be fine. Good luck

doleritedinosaur Fri 11-Sep-15 20:34:45

I did, I was induced & my doctor assured my friend who was my birthing partner that she'd made the birth as id be days but I was just over a hour after they broke my waters.

It was hard but my midwife was lovely, explained everything before each step. Just explain what you want pain wise & other things.

Honestly though I feel amazing about the experience, even though I was alone I gave birth to my son, alone without pain relief.

Hope your birth goes well.

BriocheBriocheBrioche Fri 11-Sep-15 20:50:29

I don't know you (I don't think!!) but I live down that way and got from your post that you might be a yachtie wife!

Im sure you could find a doula on one of the FB groups down here. Are you seeing a private gynae or being followed by the hospital?

Ihateigglepiggle Sat 12-Sep-15 06:05:26

Thanks everyone, I've woken up feeling so much better about this. Yesterday I was so stressed. Today I'm going to speak to the midwives and look into finding a doula.

Brioche, he does work with yachts and we really thought his season would be over now (following previous years patterns). This time I'm being followed by the hospital as I thought I'd be more co rodent as its my third rather than private gynae. That'll teach me wink

Ihateigglepiggle Sat 12-Sep-15 06:06:14

Co rodent? More confident I mean.

5678group Tue 15-Sep-15 18:38:19

I hope you found a doula iggle, I finally met mine and feel a lot better about potentially giving birth without DH being there.

Ihateigglepiggle Tue 15-Sep-15 19:03:58

I haven't found a Doula because my DH is on his way home! He should be in the country by the morning thank goodness. So all I have to do is NOT give birth tonight. Fingers (and legs) crossed.

I really do think it's a great idea to have the Doula and she will probably be more useful and knowledgable than most husbands.

5678group Thu 17-Sep-15 21:48:22

Hope he made it home safe, good luck with the birth!

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