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csection in 5 days and terrified

(8 Posts)
CakeInMyFace Sat 05-Sep-15 15:29:22

So I have an elcs booked for Thursday in 5 days time. First birth was emcs after traumatic long labour and was awful. This time took 2 yrs to conceive and following various tests was told we'd likely need ivf. Then the month after an HSG it happened on its own.
Pregnancy has been so smooth and not a single problem I almost feel like something should have gone wrong by now given the turmoil trying to conceive. I keep having a feeling of doom and like I'm going to die during the csection. I can't stop thinking of dd1 left without a mother and I'm feeling gradually more terrified.
Has anyone else felt like this? Guess I'm hoping for some reassurance and positive elcs stories. Can anyone help?

Focusfocus Sat 05-Sep-15 16:19:38

First of all, you will be absolutely fine!

Second, do you have an apple decide like iPad or iPod etc? Please go to the iTunes Store and search for "natal Hypnotherapy" or "maggie howell" - both will lead you to a variety of downloads. The one you need is soecifically targeted for Caeserean sections. Download it now, spend 30 mins daily over the next 5 days listening to it in a comfortable relaxed place. Believe in the power of your mind for these five days.

All best.

Skiptonlass Sun 06-Sep-15 08:45:54

The impending delivery is possibly triggering memories of your last delivery and making you panic. That's really understandable. You also seem to think that you 'deserve' issues after last time. Every time that thought pops into your head, squelch it! It's your memory of fear and pain talking, not an accurate assessment of what will happen.

But this is going to be completely different. Everything will be planned, calm and controlled. There's no emergency, no traumatic long labour, just a very calm procedure that is going to end with you being just fine and holding your lovely child.

CakeInMyFace Sun 06-Sep-15 11:08:06

Thanks to you both for the reassurance. Makes sense Skipton now that I think about it. There was a lot of fear surrounding my first birth and that's possibly why I feel so scared going into it this time. Because so many things went wrong the first time (even during pregnancy) I'm almost struggling to accept that nothing has gone wrong this time yet and therefore expecting that it will if that makes sense.
Will just have to try and stay as calm as I can and focus on the end result!

I'll see if I can find maggie howell and give that a go too, thank you for the suggestion focus.

PermetsTu Sun 06-Sep-15 11:21:15

You will be fine. On the day, once you're holding your baby and it's over, you'll be so relieved and amazed that everything is okay that you won't be able to stop grinning.

I had an emcs after v traumatic time with dc1 and then dc2 was another emcs but without the trauma. I was terrified throughout the second pregnancy. Not because anything went wrong, not even scared of the cs tbh, just a nameless, faceless, all-pervading anxiety. Some days, I couldn't look at dc1 without sobbing. I thought I might die suddenly from preeclampsia or a haemorrhage or a complication with the anaesthetic. I knew, logically, all of that stuff was extremely unlikely, but I had these strange, unfounded fears.

I think in retrospect it was because I associated labour with being out of control, with fear and with things going wrong. Well, if you're having an elcs and there won't be any of the unknowns from labour and natural delivery, I think you possibly just escalate the fear to a belief that the cs itself will surely go badly wrong.

The one thing that helped the most was telling the team on the day. They were so gentle with me. They wrote all over my notes that I had a previous traumatic delivery and emcs and was suffering with anxiety. Every member of staff from the people doing my pre-op stockings and bloods, to the surgeon and the anaesthetist were made aware of how worried I was. They are always kind and lovely but they were just perfect. They asked me what I wanted and they made me think about what would not happen, not the threat of something that almost certainly wouldn't. So they made me consider real options like lowered screens and DH watching and skin to skin. Then I was focusing on what was real and not the fear. They were bloody brilliant and they made my second cs such a healing process. I loved it!

CakeInMyFace Sun 06-Sep-15 21:13:05

Thank you Permets...what you say sounds scarily similar to how I have felt. I have had many times where I cant look at dd or think of her without crying. An underlying fear that I won't make it and she will be left without me. Thanks for the advice, I'll definitely let the surgeon know my fears on the day as sounds like it might help the most.

1944girl Sun 06-Sep-15 22:55:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nottalotta Mon 07-Sep-15 05:11:30

Positive C section story coming up....... I ad DS by elcs 6weeks 3 days ago. He was breech and large. I phoned the hospital at 8am on the day and was told to make my way in. We got there and were settled into a private room next to the theatre. Various medical people came and introduced themselves, did various checks. We had a small delay while someone else needed their attention.

Then, we were ready to go. I walked into theatre at 11.50. Had canula and spinal put in. Had a bit of a reaction to spinal but that was due to my medical condition (vomited for a while and had v.low BP) once that was sorted they went to work and DS was born at 12.35.

I came home 2 days later. I have recovered incredibly well. Driving with gP approval after 3.5weeks. Back dealing with my horses after 2.5weeks.

Honestly, it was great. So calm and relaxed. I feel sure the recovery is so much better because your body hasnr had labour to contend with.

It will be fine. You will be fine good luck!

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