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Can't see myself giving birth

(10 Posts)
Cupcakesandlove Wed 29-Jul-15 19:50:26

Hi, I'm wondering if this is usual... Basically I didn't think I would get pregnant - I did
I did think I would get past 3 months - I did
Now I can't see myself with the baby on my chest... I am so worried I won't be able to deliver or it will go wrong are these usual fears for a first time mum?

LashesandLipstick Wed 29-Jul-15 19:51:52

I had the same fears, I'm 35 weeks and terrified. I told my midwife who said it's very normal. Have a hug OP! smile

SaulGood Wed 29-Jul-15 19:54:50

Totally normal. It's because you have no point of reference. You can't remotely imagine what it's like to be pregnant, stay pregnant, give birth or look after a tiny baby.

It all feels very surreal as it happens and then you surprise yourself with how quickly you adapt.

There's no reason to believe you won't be able to deliver. You aren't predicting the future, you just aren't able to envisage it. In the event that there are any problems in your labour, your caregivers will give you the appropriate help.

It's so normal to not be able to picture it. It's almost obligatory. I've had two babies, two labours, two deliveries, two babies. I still can't tell you what it's like or describe it in any way that you will understand on a visceral level.

We're so used to planning and plotting our lives. This is one of the rare moments where you just have to do it.

Cupcakesandlove Wed 29-Jul-15 20:00:32

Thank you so much...
You hit the nail on the head I can't envisage it!
It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels like this smile

motherinferior Wed 29-Jul-15 20:02:25

I was in major denial up to second stage labour.Me? A baby?

ApocalypseThen Sun 02-Aug-15 23:16:50

I was just the same too. But it happened anyway and the baby is born and contrary to any expectations I had, I did end up giving birth and am caring for the baby. Nobody could be more surprised.

It all just happened one day when I didn't expect it and I just had to go with the flow. You've no choice. I'm really only coming to terms with it now, weeks afterwards, to be honest, it's still a bit surreal.

daluze Mon 03-Aug-15 21:03:33

I remember feeling very anxious about giving birth. My midwife suggested to try hypnobirthing course, and it was great. It involved various visualization exercises, very calm and relaxing, as well as we watched some videos of quiet and cslm birth. Completely opposite what you'd normally see on TV! It really helped me to relax and look forward to birth.

Chillywhippet Mon 03-Aug-15 21:18:46

When DD1 slid out onto the bed after a long labour I honestly thought, "hey. A baby!" It was so unbelievable and lovely and weird all at the same time. I was clued up about labour I thought but hadn't really got to grips with the real baby bit!

The next big surprise was her first feed. Felt like a vacuum pump. Wasn't ready for that either.

Went back to the ward and the staff said, "Nice normal delivery in the end." I said, "there was nothing normal about that. Normal for me is going to work and cooking tea."

We took her home and just sat staring at her in the car seat. We could not believe she was our baby. We suddenly felt tired so decided to have a nap and of course she woke up....

My grandmother came to see us and said, "Congratualtions! You'll never be free from worry again." I thought gee thanks but now I can see that it is normal to worry a bit. It's part of the job description.

Had 3 more since then and DD1 hopefully off to Uni next month. I'm never quite ready for any stage (sitting, toddling, off to school, teenagers, learning to drive, partying) always playing catch up but it's great.

spanky2 Mon 03-Aug-15 21:24:00

When ds1 plopped on to the bed seconds after being born, I said 'it's a baby!' I couldn't imagine there was a baby in there, let alone becoming a mother! I didn't research my birth plan, how would I know? I've never given birth!
But when the shock wore off I realised how amazingly lucky I was to have this baby and how much I love him.

Roseybee10 Mon 03-Aug-15 22:21:32

Very normal. I couldn't imagine the bump ever turning into a baby. We have 4d scans and found out the gender to try and help, and it did to a certain extent but I still couldn't imagine her ever being here.
Within two hours I couldn't imagine her ever not being here!
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