Should DS come to hospital to avoid new sibling arriving in 'his' space?

[33goingon64]

Have heard that it helps older siblings accept new babies if they come to hospital and travel home as a family, rather than seeing mummy and daddy arriving at home with baby they haven't yet seen. Assuming we have a quick birth and don't have to stay in ward - is it worth DH driving half an hour to get DS (4) for a visit or not?

[Floggingmolly]

Oh yes, definitely. Having the new baby bring a present works wonders as well

[chandelierswinger]

Yes, definitely, if it's not too much of a nightmare. Some of my most treasured photos are of my DCs when they first met in hospital. Older one had presents for me/baby and baby had cleverly wrapped a coveted toy and put it in the cot. That first journey home was wonderful too. Eldest kept checking on baby and gave us a progress report all the way home!

[poocatcherchampion]

I wouldn't bother tbh. I think this it totally overstated as an issue.

My newborn will not be buying his/her older sisters a present either. No shops where he is coming from.

[33goingon64]

We've got a present lined up 'from' the baby -might be too big for the cot though! Thanks for the positive story chandelier!

[LikeABadSethRogenMovie]

Yes! And wrapped presents are nice too.

Also, try not to worry about it too much. I still remember the sleepless nights after DC1 wanted their baby brother to 'go back to their home". Fast forward a few months and they were best friends and still are today, now both hulking teenagers. Newborns are kind of boring for 4 year olds. Just be present for both and it will all be fine. Congratulations!

[LibrariesGaveUsPower]

I wouldn't worry too much. DD1 and DD2 were 5 and 3 and came downstairs one morning to find their new brother lying asleep on my chest - full scale invasion! They weren't the slightest bit bothered. I think either they have big issues with the sibling or they don't. The first few days are a much bigger deal than the 'meeting'.

[BackforGood]

Not if it's not necessary.

I mean my eldest (then elder 2, when I had dc3) came along on the day the next sibling was born to "meet the baby" and see me, but not to come and collect. You can be sitting around for ages waiting for someone to discharge you. My toddlers were far happier being able to play with Nanny at home (or, thinking about it, dc1 was at CMs when I got home with dc2) than hanging around n a hospital where there's nothing to do.

I sometimes thing this 'pushed out' / 'invading space' thing is far too much worried about. Talk to dc1 about how exciting it's going to be to have a new baby in the house and they will look forward to it. Then make sure, once you are home, they get some 1:1 time and that they are involved in "helping" you with the baby and life just carries on.

[Roseybee10]

I wouldn't worry. I had a home birth and dd1 came home the next morning from her gran's and took to her baby sister very well.

[SpamAnderson]

DD1 was nearly 22 months when we brought her sister home from the hospital. She was absolutely amazing with her. It's only now they're nearly 6 and nearly 8 that they fight like mad! At his age he'll be able to help out with the baby, dd1 loved bringing me nappies and and things so she was part of it all, rather than being shut out. The dds are very excited about their little brother arriving in about 7 weeks and are planning on 'helping' out with him. Little concerned though how dd2 is going to handle it as she's always been the baby and very much enjoys that position in the house!

[AmberLav]

Just ensure that all your guests and visitors make more fuss out of the older child - I was hearing from a friend that all her family were telling off the 2 year old for crying when the new baby was getting all the fuss - the new baby does not need a lot of fuss, but the older child needs to feel that they are secure in the family despite the changes...

My DS did meet little sis in hospital, but that was because we were in for 5 days...