Homebirth or MLU 33 weeks 1st baby cant decide....

[ElleyBear13]

Hello mnetters,

I was wondering for any advice, experiences. I need to decide before my next midwife appointment whether or not to have a homebirth. I am low risk, no bp problems (so far), healthy pregnancy will be attending hypnobirthing classes soon.

This is my "first" baby, I've had m/c in the past so i associate hospitals with losing your baby not bringing a healthy live baby into the world. The MLU is in the hospital, I've had two tours now to put my mind at ease incase i need to transfer and/or decide to go ahead with the MLU. Hubby is not all on board with homebirth as he's very, very worried regarding complications, transferring to hospital in time and i think (i know) he'll go into panic if I start bleeding or if theres any sight of blood. I think homebirth will be the safest for baby, as I'll feel less stressed,panicky therefore aiding labor and theres two midwives on hand.

On the otherhand the MLU does have a birthing pool and large baths designed to give birth in, and the high dependency unit is next door if complications arise (i also know complications are also more likely to rise i the mother is in distress and labor doesn't progress properly.)

I'm really torn between the two. Any advice? many thanks!

[LibrariesGaveUsPower]

A difficult one.

If your husband will go into a panic at the sight of blood, he does know that there will be lots of blood. Right?

[Acorncat]

Depends how far you are from the hospital too. I was 30 mins away (more in rush hour) which I felt was too far. I stayed at home till as late as possible, got to hospital fully dilated and already pushing even though I didn't know it which helped with hospital anxiety. That meant I could just get straight in the pool and actually give birth. My baby's heart rate was fluctuating, and I do wonder what would have happened if it had worsened and it took ages to get to hospital.

[MuffMuffTweetAndDave]

All the data we have indicates that MLU is safer than homebirth for even low risk first timers- see place of birth study. So as you seem 50/50, that's what I'd go for. If all goes well, you could always think about homebirth if you have another. It gets safer second time round.

And yes, DH needs to be well prepped for the fact that there's going to be a lot of blood wherever you have the baby. It doesn't necessarily mean anything is going wrong, and even very small loss (like 300ml or whatever) actually looks like a huge amount if you're not used to it. You're not going to bleed any less in hospital than you would at home.

[Topsy34]

I had my first at home and wouldnt change it. I had 2 mw plus a trainee mw in attendance and they were great.

Ultimately you have to feel safe, where will you feel safest?

[lilac3033]

I had my first in the local MLU and loved it. It was so unlike other parts of the hospital. I liked the security of knowing extra help was available if needed, but luckily it wasn't. I had one key midwife and a second came for pushing. The lights were dimmed and aromatherapy, along with loads of room to move around. I ended up needing to push in about 6 different positions as DD was turned around funny. Eventually she righted herself. Anyways I definitely didn't have the room or extra equipment at home to enable all those positions and I reckon they helped her turn.

Also I never expected I would have the feeding issues I have had. I ended up staying for two nights getting support for that. Just bear in mind that the 24hr support post natal support might be useful as well.

[CityDweller]

Had first at home. Was great. But I knew that was what I wanted all along and DH completely on board. Was amazing having 1-1 and then 2-1 care.

You can always book a hb and change mind and go into hospital at any point (whereas you can't do it the other way around)

There's a great homebirth site with stories and stats and research re safety that might reassure your DH. Otherwise local NCTs often run hb groups.

[Roseybee10]

I'll be honest and say in your position I would opt for the MLU. I had a home birth for my second and loved it but it took a straight forward first labour to get my husband on board and you really need him on board for something like that.

I think MLU is a perfect compromise for a first birth where you're not quite sure. However if you're dead set on a home birth then go for it.

Also for me there was hardly any blood either time (only after placenta was delivered). My water birth was completely clear after.

[Bovnydazzler]

It's your choice of course, but I'd opt for MLU for first birth. Out of my group of 8 'baby friends' (1st baby), no one (included 6 of us who had gone to pregnancy yoga each week with breathing, relaxation techniques) had the first birth they were really hoping for. Second births are often simpler, I would wait till number two. But up to you, risk anywhere in UK is pretty low.

[Patienceisapparentlyavirtue]

One thing that was important for us about choosing any course, especially after an experience like yours and our with previous m/c, is also thinking through how you would feel if things don't go so well (this of course the odds are incredibly low!) For us, we also saw the place of birth survey and the %s of first time mothers who are moved to hospital anyway and decided that we didn't want to be feeling stressed about a move or wondering "what if" if anything bad happened, so we went for the MLU. It was great - nothing like the clinical delivery suites, and a really beautiful birth. I also think it's really important for your husband to feel comfortable with any choice you go with, assuming you're set on having him as your birth partner, because having him stressed out and panicking at home will be worse than any delivery suite!

For our second, we had hoped to do a home birth though unfortunately our son kept trying to return to breech, so it wasn't an option in the end. For a third time around we'd still be interested in a home birth but honestly happy either way!

[Patienceisapparentlyavirtue]

One thing that was important for us about choosing any course, especially after an experience like yours and our with previous m/c, is also thinking through how you would feel if things don't go so well (this of course the odds are incredibly low!) For us, we also saw the place of birth survey and the %s of first time mothers who are moved to hospital anyway and decided that we didn't want to be feeling stressed about a move or wondering "what if" if anything bad happened, so we went for the MLU. It was great - nothing like the clinical delivery suites, and a really beautiful birth. I also think it's really important for your husband to feel comfortable with any choice you go with, assuming you're set on having him as your birth partner, because having him stressed out and panicking at home will be worse than any delivery suite!

For our second, we had hoped to do a home birth though unfortunately our son kept trying to return to breech, so it wasn't an option in the end. For a third time around we'd still be interested in a home birth but honestly happy either way!

[Homebird8]

Another one here with a background of a M/C in our first pregnancy (16 weeks and lots of hospital input). I was sure I wanted a home birth. It was my plan for that first one and then I didn't waver with DS1. DH was absolutely behind me.

For me the stress of being in hospital would have been very difficult in my labour. In fact when my DM visited me at home in early labour everything stopped. DM was a force to be reckoned with and that sort of authority wasn't going to help. Hospital I suspect would have done the same and I'd have been an intervention landslide.

At home though my labour was 19 hours, 2 1/2 of them pushing, I did it my way at my pace. The midwives were very used to home births because of the local hospital location and their prenatal care and support of women to make that choice.

With DS2 I did it again. Much easier and quicker that time.

You are not me. I would do it again in a blink but you need to weigh everything up. I'm going to stick my neck out here and say that it's best if your DH is onboard with you. You don't need extra stress. But, if he is not and you feel strongly you want to be at home, or rather don't want to be in hospital, you may have to do it your way regardless.

DH being aware of the realities of birth (blood etc.) is a must although it may not be like he thinks. He should also be aware of the importance of your state of mind when giving birth and the support he can give you to reduce the difficulty of what are pretty momentous events.

Enjoy your birth wherever you choose. And don't forget that you may make a 'decision' now, but it doesn't have to stay made. You can change your mind even in labour.

[Letmeeatcakecakecake]

I had my first birth at a MLU, my blood pressure was too high to be there but there were no beds in the hospital labour ward and none in any surrounding hospitals. Dispite this they wouldn't let me into a proper birth room (I suspect my blood pressure would have fallen once I was out of 'limbo') and I ended up giving birth in the triage room

Fast forward nearly 6 years and I had an incredible home birth. It was beautiful and very healing.

What I always say to people is why not leave it open? Decide to labour at home as long as possible, hire a pool, see how you feel at the time? You might be itching to get to hospital for all the drugs possible or you might be having to float around at home!