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Has anyone regretted a home birth?(98 Posts)
I'm expecting DC2 in December and had a very straightforward birth last time at a MLU so my midwife suggested a home birth. At first I dismissed it, but it has been rolling around in the back of my head. There are lots of people saying how wonderful and calm a home birth is and I don't think I have ever read any negative comments.
I wondered whether anyone out there didn't enjoy it or found it a logistical nightmare.
We live about 10 minutes away from hospital by car.
Thanks in advance.
Wonky your thread title is bound to attract those who have had bad experiences. Which may make it seem like home birth is a bad choice, hearing so many 'horror stories'.
If your midwife is suggesting it and you feel it is something you want to do, then go for it. Ten mins away you could change your mind at any time. Obviously people will have had bad experiences with home birth, but there are plenty of people who regretted/had a bad experience with a hospital birth too. You have to make the right decision for you.
Not wanting to dismiss those who have had tough home births, btw.
I know someone who had two home births with dc1&2, both were straightforward, I was keen on home birth but dh vetoed it, and as I got my way on so many other things, we had both dc in hospital (2nd in mlu) I think it's perhaps worth contacting NCT who apparently have a service where they link you up to other people near you who have experienced home birth.
I've had 2 home births. One was wonderful, the other a bit more complicated and resulted in a hospital transfer. But I don't regret either of them and would probably go for another homebirth if I have another baby.
But it is ultimately up to you. If you don't feel comfortable having a baby at home, then opt for a hospital birth. It's really up to you!
There is a website that has collected a lot of homebirth stories-positive and negative that you might find helpful to read.
Not regretted but at the same time not remotely evangelical about it. My 1 hb was the calmest of the 3 but objectively it wasn't the "best" one if that makes sense. I would do it again definitely (in theory, I don't plan to) but wouldn't be remotely bothered if it ended up being hospital. I reckon go with your gut feeling, it's only comfortable and relaxing if you're comfortable with the concept imo.
I had dc3 at home, it was not my best birth but was by far the calmest and the one that I enjoyed. The best bit to me was being able to be with my family being looked after by them straight after
I had 1st DC at local Hosp. Very quick and straightforward. Whilst will on the bed delivering the placenta my Midwife actually joked about next time I could have a home birth. 3 yrs later, we had moved to within a five min drive of Hosp, I felt confident enough to have home birth. And lucky I did as 2dc was born v v quickly. My first child slept thru the whole process. I had a great experience. But everyone is different. My DH had to be encouraged as I think he was worried what if something went wrong etc which he was entitled to do. I think as long as you are willing to change your plans if you need to then it can work very well. Good luck
I had a home birth with dd2 and it was amazing. Just wonderful.
However I think it hindered our breast feeding journey as I didn't have anyone there to help me with latch etc. I also felt a bit shell shocked as it felt too normal, and I felt pressure to get back to normal a lot quicker. Those were my only negatives.
I don't regret it for a second though. If I ever have another baby I'll definitely have a home birth.
I planned a home birth with DS. I ended up being taken to hospital (blue lights, sirens) and he was born in theatre.
Do not regret the plan for home birth at all. Incredibly healing after DD's induction 2 years prior.
Thank you so much for taking the time to answer. I am finding everyone's comments extremely helpful.
I was wondering about breastfeeding support actually. With DD they made sure DD had two good feeds before they let us go, there is no way they would hang around for that with a home birth, but I suppose this time I know what I'm doing even if the baby doesn't.
I think it is a decision that needs a lot of consideration. Although I suppose ultimately it doesn't matter where I give birth as long as we both are healthy at the end of it.
There is a long-term MNer who had 3 babies by CS, then had a home birth VBAC. Birth went wrong, baby was in distress, but they lost precious minutes getting her to the hospital. She is left severely brain-damaged.
Yes, it is a small chance. No, I wouldn't take it. Sorry, OP.
Cote things are FAR more likely to go wrong in a hospital and while that story is very sad there is no way to know it wouldn't have also happened in a hospital.
I never BF dd1 so I did need the support. I thought it would be easier this time being in my own house and being able to relax but I could not get her latched right. I told the mws she wasn't latched right but they ignored me and wrote 'feeding well' in my notes which I'm now raging at. Then they left at 10pm (she was born at 7pm) and I had no one round until 11am the next day and couldn't feed and she as screaming so had to send hubby to shop for formula. That kind of spelled the beginning of the end. She eventually got diagnosed with tongue tie which I think would have been spotted and dealt with quicker in hospital.
However weighing it all up, I felt much more positive towards the whole experience than dd1's birth in hospital. X
I had a home birth. Unfortunately it ended in a totally unexpected shoulder dystocia. Baby was huge but nobody had picked up on it. Midwives had to wrench her out and go inside me to do it. Scariest thing was pushing but feeling like it was a brick wall. I'm slightly incontinent to this day and would never have any more children due to that experience. It was horrendous and ds could have died in minutes had it not been for some miracle that they were able to tug him out. I personally would give this a lot of thought. My scans were all normal, previous deliveries fine and average weights, no previous complications. Birth is unpredictable and that is that.
My good friend regretted it.
After two easy home births she thought her 3rd would be plain sailing.
Events took a turn for the worse and baby died during birth.
Midwife was unable to recusitate as was the ambulance team who were called.
The baby died.
My first baby was in a similar situation, all normal but then emergency seconds after the birth.
I am very glad he was born in hospital and had a peadiatric crash team with specialist equipment on hand within seconds. No lasting effects.
I had a planned home birth with DC1. It was very straightforward (but long) and was definitely the right decision for us so no regrets. I do look back and feel a little at how hardcore I was.
I had DC2 in hospital, by emcs no less, due to medical complications and the whole hospital experience was quite horrible (apart from the section, it was surprisingly calm and ok and the doctors and nurses were great).
I don't really think about their births anymore. I just feel extremely lucky to have two healthy beautiful children.
Birth is unpredictable wherever it takes place. You need to look at the risks and how you would prefer to manage them.
You get excellent monitoring at a hb and the mw tends to be cautious and will advise transfer before an emergency arises.
Personally I loved my homebirths and feel the environment is safer than a hospital.
I regret not having a hospital birth for DD2 and often wonder if our outcome would have been different. DD1's water birth in hospital was a wonderful experience.
"things are FAR more likely to go wrong in a hospital"
But if things go wrong in a hospital, you have the Intensive Care Unit right there.
Yes. We lived only ten minutes from a hospital too.
Things got scarey. They called an ambulance. The ambulance took over an hour to get there by which time ds was born. Ds was fine. My innards - not so much.
I had DC4 at home. My first three had been straightforward, uncomplicated deliveries, so I felt I was making a pretty safe choice for my fourth. And yes, it was by far my best birthing experience.
True but the statistics show higher mortality in hospital so it sometimes dosn't make a difference. Midwives are very quick to transfer at the slightest problem and they are trained to deal with common unforeseen emergencies as they would in hospital. It's a personal choice with risks to both really so no right or wrong answer. NICE guidelines now recomend home births for second babies onwards in low risk women however so that speaks volumes to me.
Surely you would expect mortality rates to be higher in hospitals . No one is going to recommend a home birth for someone likely to have problems.
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