Looking for some advice or experience from those who had their babies out the sunroof.
After a 3b tear and the mental issues of dealing with incontinence with a young baby at a young age, where no one had ever warned you one of the post-birth risks was faecal incontinence, I'm really really leaning towards anything that will keep my anal sphincter safe from stress or harm! It's generally fine now (although very very mild urgency and can't hold wind in at all), but I just can't face the thought of complicating things further. Walking up the stairs with a newborn and shitting yourself at the same time was really a fucking low point.
Anyway. I'm thinking caesarean. All calm, planned, will get help/support for recovery. But I used to love weightlifting and would love to get back into it. Also at a 5.5ft size 12 (to 14...) things certainly aren't as toned there, it's probably still a mess since the last pregnancy (only 9 months ago...). I'm superficially worried about the scar and overhang. Have google imaged it, and thought I might actually need to ask if that's really how it is. I think my bikini wearing days are gone, but it's something I'd have to look in the mirror and see every day. But I would be continent. It's so superficial, but I'm wondering if I would regret it? Having done a VB I think I'm ok for that 'experience'... I won't 'miss' that! But I might miss having a stomach that hasn't been cut and stitched. But... I'll be continent.
Any advice? Childbirth is something I'm really struggling to get my head round this time. Ignorance was bliss before... Thanks.
I had an elcs with dd2 following a emcs with dd1. It was a calm and almost enjoyable experience. Despite having two c-sections, my scar is neat and barely noticeable. I have far worse scaring from keyhole surgery!
I'm 6 months post elcs and the scar is still quite big and yes there is overhang but a friend of mine has had 2 cs and has shown me hers and its a tiny white line below the hairline that is barely seen - she also has no overhang. Her kids are now 8 and 6 so I think it's just time thing. It's pretty low down so it's certainly not something I see everyday either and compared with your alternative it's really nothing to worry about. You're very brave to even consider another baby after that though.
I had an emcs. As other posters say the scar is very low so won't show over a bikini. No overhang really but my stomach is not the same as it once was. I think that is down to housing a large baby though, not how it came out! Either way I wouldn't swap it for my old stomach and incontinence...
I've had 2 Caesars. Overhang disaster. But I was ate for Britain when pregnant and i think that is the issue. Scar tissue pretty bad. Also think this is due to being stupid and greedy.
On the plus side, 2 planned Caesars (first - I refused induction as wanted a home birth, went to 43 weeks, they wanted to induce but said likelihood at that point with a non-engaged baby was a Caesar; second, I wanted her out alive having lost twins at 23 weeks), anyway - plus side, two really lovely birth experiences and, importantly, really rested and home after one night with newborn. The recovery is not a walk in the park, but it was fine.
Scar is fine, and below the hairline, as others have mentioned. I have an awful overhang, but had twins and am now (16 months later) 3 stone lighter than I was pre pregnancy, so there's essentially lots of extra skin hanging around. Literally.
Kitty I was in the same position you are in now (same tear too with DC1 and some minor continence issues). I had an elcs with DC2 and I don't regret it although recovery was tough especially with two very young ones.
I sometimes wonder in hindsight whether I should have aimed for a normal delivery to experience it again but you never know what sort of outcome you will get.
I was TERRIFIED of having a C Section by the way but overall I think it was a good decision.
After tearing quite badly with number 2, I was afraid of tearing my anal sphincter with number 3. So I asked the midwife on the delivery table for an episiotomy to guide the tearing in a different direction. I healed much more quickly than after an elcs.
Talk to your midwife. An elcs might not be the only option.