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Last minute birth partner - advice please!!

(14 Posts)
tigermoll Sat 27-Dec-14 15:07:23

Due to a series of events, I am going to be my friend's birth partner tomorrow. I don't have any children and have never witnessed a labour, never been to antenatal classes or even seen a video of childbirth. My plan is to just do as I'm told by my friend and be her runner/servant during the labour. Does anyone else have any advice - what did/do you want from your birth partner? Feel extremely honoured to be asked and am excited to be present at a birth, but have NO IDEA AT ALL what to expect.

BlueMoonRoses Sat 27-Dec-14 15:10:50

Sounds like you've got the right idea. Just be there for her, support her in what she needs. Don't fuss, be calm. Enjoy it. I hope all goes well. Take cards, magazines, books.

TobyLerone Sat 27-Dec-14 15:12:53

Do whatever she tells you to!

Livvylongpants Sat 27-Dec-14 15:14:07

All I wanted from my birth partner was to do what I wanted.

Fetch me water or rub my back or shut the f up

I'd just play it by ear. She'll probably tell you what she needs

TipsyMcStaggers Sat 27-Dec-14 15:15:19

I'd take lots of snacky foods and energy drinks for you both, you could be there a while

ISolemnlySwearIveBeenUptoNoGood Sat 27-Dec-14 15:15:23

I think you have the measure of it. It's mostly being supportive without getting in the way. And fetching and carrying everything she needs or wants. Plenty of encouragement when she's struggling.

TobyLerone Sat 27-Dec-14 15:16:19

Actually, in all seriousness, ask her.

DH knew that he should keep out of the way and leave me alone until/unless I needed him. We had discussed it beforehand. And he did a brilliant job.

Some people might want some handholding/fussing/distracting/massaging or whatever. Not me.

Livvylongpants Sat 27-Dec-14 15:26:02

I have DH and my mum as is want them to talk to me and make me laugh etc during the loooong early part.

Then when It gets to the harder bit I want to be quiet as I am in the zone.

They learnt that by trial and error (on 3rd DC now) I just tell them lol

tigermoll Sun 28-Dec-14 00:06:31

Awesome. Snacky food is a good call - will bring lots of diet coke and cheese strings smile

dancingwitch Sun 28-Dec-14 00:13:24

If she has a birth plan, find out what it is as you may have to fight for it for her. Having said that, if she changes her mind when she is in labour, let her!
If it isn't likely to upset her, ask her what should happen if she can't hold the baby immediately after it is born. Is she happy for it to be given to you? Would she be happy for you to do skin to skin?
Do you know her family? Will they have your mobile number/do you have theirs? What is the plan for keeping them updated? When does she think she wants visitors?

Blondiemama Sun 28-Dec-14 03:16:33

I was going to say find out what her birth plan is and what sort of pain relief she wants. Things like epidurals you may need to fight for on her behalf so you need to know beforehand exactly what she is comfortable with. I'm sure you will do an amazing job and I hope all goes well for you both x

moggle Sun 28-Dec-14 04:15:22

Bring full fat coke too- it's the sugar energy boost she might need. Cereal bars are good for a longer lasting boost. Also make sure to brig stuff for yourself - even a sandwich which she probably won't want. You're no good to her if you're faint from lack of food :-)
Good luck!

Messygirl Sun 28-Dec-14 07:34:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

evertonmint Sun 28-Dec-14 08:21:27

Bring a change of clothes for yourself in case it gets messy or you get sweaty!

A variety of snacks and drinks as you won't know whether you or she want sweet, savoury etc.

Take her lead and watch her. There came a point in all 3 of my labours where I didn't want DH to talk any more and just wanted him to place his hands on my shoulders and lower back for each contraction immediately as they started and then remove them and slink back off to the corner quietly while I focused inwards. She may need this sort of thing.which requires you to watch her and be attentive.

And enjoy it! A friend was an emergency birth partner for another friend and said it was a wonderful experience overall (even with an emergency a c section),and now has a special bond with the baby (now a 3yo!)

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