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Elcs and a toddler at home

(16 Posts)
LittlePink Sun 16-Nov-14 07:30:50

i might be booked for elcs if baby stays breech. I have a very active 2.5 year old dd and am wondering how I will look after her once dh has gone back to work. I've got his parents nearby but can't expect them to come every day and do everything. She's not potty trained yet and nappy changes are still challenging with lots of kicking. Bedtimes are very challenging getting her out of the bath and into her pyjamas. I had an emcs with her and was on painkillers for 3 weeks afterwards.

How did you find having a toddler and a cs to recover from along with having a newborn to care for?

Also another quick question to those who had cs first time- does the second cs take longer due to scar tissue etc?

kaymondo Sun 16-Nov-14 08:24:44

Ds1 was 2.2 when I had an ELCS with ds2. I had the same concerns as you, especially about nappy changes as ds1 was a kicker! I also worried about getting him dressed. However I found the reality was that ds1 did much more than I thought he was capable of doing because he had to! He adapted very quickly to the fact that he had to come to me more and I couldn't chase him around to get his clothes on. For nappy changes, I'm not sure if you have a change table or change on the floor but I would change from the side iysyim so that if ds was kicking he couldn't kick my scar. It really wasn't anywhere near as bad as I feared. I also didn't kill myself trying to get out of the house in the early weeks (and couldn't have gone too far anyway as couldn't drive after section),ds1 watched a lot if cbeebies but I cut myself some slack and did what I needed to do to keep everyone happy while we got used to the routine.

I think part of that was also because I healed so much quicker second time round. This was mainly because I learnt from the first time and did absolutely nothing for the first couple of weeks while DH was there, even when I felt like I could have done more. I just rested as it was over-exerting myself in the first couple of weeks that led to me getting infected and having very slow recovery with DS1.

Good luck, you'll be absolutely fine!

kaymondo Sun 16-Nov-14 08:25:47

Oh and I don't remember the section itself taking any longer but then you're distracted by the baby so I guess it might have been.

jerryfudd Sun 16-Nov-14 08:40:01

I had two 21 month olds at home and husband barely took any of his 2 week paternity. When the health visitor visited she helpfully told me I looked like death but we managed. Having had twins first time (a section again) I knew what to expect and we were already routined up so it was doable. I don't really remember that period however but I think the mind hides traumatic periods grin

jerryfudd Sun 16-Nov-14 08:41:51

Oh and my second section was longer but only because of other surgical procedures associated with previous medical issues

Petallic Sun 16-Nov-14 08:46:19

I've had an EMCS and an ELCS and the emergency one took me far longer to recover from - which I didn't realise until I had my second CS and almost skipped out of hospital in comparison. Hopefully if you do have the CS you may have an easier recovery time. Also agree with PP that second time round it's easier to know your limits and not do too much which also helps healing.

LittlePink Sun 16-Nov-14 09:02:02

I felt like I'd been beaten up first time round after a traumatic 43 hour labour and emcs at the end of it. I remember walking bent double for the first week and was black and blue from several failed cannulation attempts. My insides sorry tmi were so bruised from all the examinations too. I then tried to do far too much and get out of the house to baby massage, baby sensory etc as soon as dh went back to work as I felt quite isolated and lonely. I won't be pushing myself like that again though but I will still have my toddler to take care of. I've been trying to encourage her to dress and undress herself but it takes so long I get bored waiting and do it for her! Guess I will just have to persevere and see exactly what she is capable of like pp says even if things do take a bit longer to begin with!

Purplehonesty Sun 16-Nov-14 09:12:57

I was a lot better after the elcs than the emcs.
Can your dh book some holiday after his paternity leave?
If you make sure he does it all for the first two weeks you should be fine by the time he goes back to work.
Just don't overdo it and no hoovering or lifting wet washing AT ALL!
dh really looked after me for three weeks I think both times and I spent all my time snuggling and bfing the babies while he did everything else. Second time around he took ds out loads and I was up and about quicker but I still stayed in bed til noon most days.

TeamEponine Sun 16-Nov-14 09:18:00

Have you looked at getting a c belt? I found it really helped my recovery and I can imagine it would really cushion against any stray toddler feet!

ElphabaTheGreen Sun 16-Nov-14 09:28:05

ELCS is a totally, TOTALLY different experience to an EMCS and recovery is way easier. I was lifting DS1 (then 2.2yo) in a modified capacity within two or three weeks of my ELCS with DS2. He was so captivated with his little brother that I found the easiest way to do nappy changes was to lie DS2 on the floor next to him. He'd lie there gazing so adoringly at him he'd forget to kick grin

FluffyJawsOfDoom Mon 17-Nov-14 17:54:13

What's a c belt TeamEponine?

SomeSunnySunday Mon 17-Nov-14 19:41:34

I healed so, so much more quickly from my ELCS, compare to my first (emergency) section. The operation itself did take a bit longer - at least up to the "getting the baby out" part, and after that I wasn't really paying attention. DC1's delivery was a proper cat 1 emergency, and he was out in under 5 minutes from them deciding to proceed to section (after a failed forceps attempt in theatre). By contrast my ELCS was very calm, and it probably took 15 minutes to deliver DC2.

DH had 3 weeks off after DC2 (DC1 was 2.7) and by the time he went back to work I could do everything I needed to. I don't think I even needed painkillers after about day 3, although I did stay in my PJs and refuse to lift a finger for the first week.

Good luck!

TeamEponine Mon 17-Nov-14 20:55:42

Fluffy - It is a bit like a padded bum bag that both supports and protects the scar. It also comes with heat and freezer pads. I found it made a huge difference.

joeschmoesmum Sat 22-Nov-14 18:34:52

Reading with interest, as have a 16 month old and due in 8 weeks. I am interested to hear about the difference between emcs and elcs in terms of recovery - can anyone explain why? Thank you!

1944girl Sat 22-Nov-14 20:32:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Artandco Sat 29-Nov-14 18:35:28

Some things to help older child be more independent:

- buy steps for sink/ toilet and bath. So they can get on toilet alone, stan at sink and reach and get in and out bath. Then you can just help holding hands for safety getting in bath and just turn taps etc on whiteout lifting/ bending so much

- get water beaker for eldest filled, and fruit bowl/ snacks at child height so they can at least snack and drink for a while without you having to move

- get easy clothes for them ie joggers and jumper, higher chance of them being able to put on alone

Also once dh goes back to work I recommend getting them to still take eldest out for a walk first thing and once home if possible so eldest doesn't feel cooped up all day. I didn't have a c section but still needed rest so dh took ds1 (16months at time) for walk to bakery/ supermarket each morning and then for swim some evenings

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