My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Childbirth

Other half's sister getting 2 involved

11 replies

Jemima1988 · 27/09/2014 12:31

I am currently 39+2. my bfs sister is 21 and very excited I'm not that close 2 her and don't feel comfortable telling her to back off...
she announced yesterday that she wants to know as soon as I go into labour so she can go 2 the hospital 2 wait. With her only being young I think she is still under the impression ur waters break you go straight into hospital 2 hours later baby is clean wrapped up and handed over.
I tried explaining 2 my bf I really don't want his dad and sister sat outside the room waiting but he brushes it off saying they won't cause any harm.
my main issues are

  1. They aren't allowed 2 visit me on the delivery suite
  2. They will be texting and distracting my bf asking him 2 go out the room when 2 keep them up 2 dare
  3. If I have him in the middle of the night they won't be allowed 2 visit on maternity ward
  4. even if it is visiting times I would like a bit of me daddy and baby time before I have 2 put up with visitors


am I being unreasonable and moody?
OP posts:
Report
honeysucklejasmine · 27/09/2014 12:38

YANBU but you need to get BF on side. Does he know your exact reasons or just a general "no"?

Maybe compromise that they can be first visitors, but only when you are ready? If that works for you.

Report
Goodmum1234 · 28/09/2014 13:04

No way!! Tell staff to tell them to go if bf won't. How awful for you. Tell bf not to tell them when you go in at all to avoid interference!! You are giving birth, it's up
To you and bf must support you in this. I'm sure others will be along to advise xx

Report
Bigoldsupermoon · 28/09/2014 22:53

Ew, no - you're totally not unreasonable. I'm 39+2 as well (due date twins!) and I've been worried about a similar issue. My close friend, who's a midwife, has stressed to me that if I need the midwives at the hospital to 'play the bad guys' and tell any surprise visitors/callers that they have to leave, they'll be more than happy to do that.

So yes, try and get your BF on side but, if not, have a quiet word with your medical staff and let them know you don't want people hanging around waiting! Good luck with everything! Smile

Report
Blondiemama · 30/09/2014 06:54

You are not being unreasonable. Do you have any friends/family who've recently had babies? Sometimes it helps for OHs to hear from someone else that this is not appropriate. I had to resort to this tactic with DH and his family. I'm glad I did as the birth was pretty awful and it would have tipped me over the edge if they were loitering.

Most hospitals don't allow visitors anyway apart from one or two hour long slots but make sure you are really firm about visitors when you come home.

Good luck :-) hope all goes well for you x

Report
lolee777 · 01/10/2014 14:39

I have it written in my birth plan that I don't want visitors while in the hospital so the midwives know.

Report
VintageCherry26 · 24/10/2014 12:45

I completely agree with you! I would not want anyone hanging around waiting! DP isn't the one giving birth, so the final choice is yours and he needs to be more empathetic! I'm sure he'll understand if you explain :)

Report
AnniDollxox · 28/10/2014 09:35

Nope you are not being unreasonable, I have an aunt who did this to me with first baby and I wasn't strong enough to tell her to get to! But with this one I have made it clear that it's me and dad only, my mum won't even be there because she is looking after DD! You need daddy focused and no one to ruin this for you, make it clear. Xx

Report
Chottie · 31/10/2014 01:32

No you are not being unreasonable at all. BF needs to be focussing on you and your LO and not bobbing in and out / texting with updates. Why does she need to know the minute you go into hospital anyway?

Report
marthabear · 01/11/2014 08:15

YANBU. There is no point them being at the hospital while you labour, whether you want them there or not, as they won't be allowed in when baby is born anyway. I know they are very excited and mean well, but a line needs to be gently drawn. It is not okay for them to assume things. I would gently and tactfully let them know that you and your boyfriend may well not be letting anyone know when labour starts. Also it needs to be made clear, again tactfully and gently, that you will likely need lots of time to yourselves when baby is born. Texting to see when is a good time to drop by for a cuppa ( cooked meal for the both of you in hand ) would be most welcome. Your birth, your baby. Could you show your BF this thread? He needs to be with you on all this, even if it means a few slightly ruffled feathers :-)

Report
FunkyBoldRibena · 01/11/2014 08:36

Don't mention it to either of them.

Next time she says it or hints just say 'We're not going to be letting anyone know when I go into labour - are you on glue? I'll have something the size of a bowling ball coming out of my flanjanjo and will likely be screaming the house down!.'

Report
UterusUterusGhali · 03/11/2014 13:42

The staff will have no qualms about getting shot of them if that's what you want.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.