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Other half's sister getting 2 involved

(12 Posts)
Jemima1988 Sat 27-Sep-14 12:31:31

I am currently 39+2. my bfs sister is 21 and very excited I'm not that close 2 her and don't feel comfortable telling her to back off...
she announced yesterday that she wants to know as soon as I go into labour so she can go 2 the hospital 2 wait. With her only being young I think she is still under the impression ur waters break you go straight into hospital 2 hours later baby is clean wrapped up and handed over.
I tried explaining 2 my bf I really don't want his dad and sister sat outside the room waiting but he brushes it off saying they won't cause any harm.
my main issues are
1. They aren't allowed 2 visit me on the delivery suite
2. They will be texting and distracting my bf asking him 2 go out the room when 2 keep them up 2 dare
3. If I have him in the middle of the night they won't be allowed 2 visit on maternity ward
4. even if it is visiting times I would like a bit of me daddy and baby time before I have 2 put up with visitors

am I being unreasonable and moody?

honeysucklejasmine Sat 27-Sep-14 12:38:52

YANBU but you need to get BF on side. Does he know your exact reasons or just a general "no"?

Maybe compromise that they can be first visitors, but only when you are ready? If that works for you.

Goodmum1234 Sun 28-Sep-14 13:04:08

No way!! Tell staff to tell them to go if bf won't. How awful for you. Tell bf not to tell them when you go in at all to avoid interference!! You are giving birth, it's up
To you and bf must support you in this. I'm sure others will be along to advise xx

Bigoldsupermoon Sun 28-Sep-14 22:53:54

Ew, no - you're totally not unreasonable. I'm 39+2 as well (due date twins!) and I've been worried about a similar issue. My close friend, who's a midwife, has stressed to me that if I need the midwives at the hospital to 'play the bad guys' and tell any surprise visitors/callers that they have to leave, they'll be more than happy to do that.

So yes, try and get your BF on side but, if not, have a quiet word with your medical staff and let them know you don't want people hanging around waiting! Good luck with everything! smile

Blondiemama Tue 30-Sep-14 06:54:50

You are not being unreasonable. Do you have any friends/family who've recently had babies? Sometimes it helps for OHs to hear from someone else that this is not appropriate. I had to resort to this tactic with DH and his family. I'm glad I did as the birth was pretty awful and it would have tipped me over the edge if they were loitering.

Most hospitals don't allow visitors anyway apart from one or two hour long slots but make sure you are really firm about visitors when you come home.

Good luck :-) hope all goes well for you x

lolee777 Wed 01-Oct-14 14:39:21

I have it written in my birth plan that I don't want visitors while in the hospital so the midwives know.

VintageCherry26 Fri 24-Oct-14 12:45:59

I completely agree with you! I would not want anyone hanging around waiting! DP isn't the one giving birth, so the final choice is yours and he needs to be more empathetic! I'm sure he'll understand if you explain smile

AnniDollxox Tue 28-Oct-14 09:35:23

Nope you are not being unreasonable, I have an aunt who did this to me with first baby and I wasn't strong enough to tell her to get to! But with this one I have made it clear that it's me and dad only, my mum won't even be there because she is looking after DD! You need daddy focused and no one to ruin this for you, make it clear. Xx

Chottie Fri 31-Oct-14 01:32:09

No you are not being unreasonable at all. BF needs to be focussing on you and your LO and not bobbing in and out / texting with updates. Why does she need to know the minute you go into hospital anyway?

marthabear Sat 01-Nov-14 08:15:58

YANBU. There is no point them being at the hospital while you labour, whether you want them there or not, as they won't be allowed in when baby is born anyway. I know they are very excited and mean well, but a line needs to be gently drawn. It is not okay for them to assume things. I would gently and tactfully let them know that you and your boyfriend may well not be letting anyone know when labour starts. Also it needs to be made clear, again tactfully and gently, that you will likely need lots of time to yourselves when baby is born. Texting to see when is a good time to drop by for a cuppa ( cooked meal for the both of you in hand ) would be most welcome. Your birth, your baby. Could you show your BF this thread? He needs to be with you on all this, even if it means a few slightly ruffled feathers :-)

FunkyBoldRibena Sat 01-Nov-14 08:36:07

Don't mention it to either of them.

Next time she says it or hints just say 'We're not going to be letting anyone know when I go into labour - are you on glue? I'll have something the size of a bowling ball coming out of my flanjanjo and will likely be screaming the house down!.'

UterusUterusGhali Mon 03-Nov-14 13:42:46

The staff will have no qualms about getting shot of them if that's what you want.

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