Like so many women, I had a really traumatic first labour with my son, 21 months ago. A lot of it was down to feeling let down by my care providers and the subsequent unnecessary path of intervention - it ended in a full episiotomy and forceps. I was left alone (with just DH) to labour for 24 hours with contractions 2 minutes apart from the get go after being pressured into an induction. We saw a MW three times in those 24 hours. I had hoped for a calm labour at home but ended up hysterical and terrified in hospital. When it came to the pushing part, I was shouted at and told if I didn't try hard enough, I'd have to have an EMCS. I was frightened, completely head fucked by the lack of care and traumatised.
I went through the whole debriefing and complaints procedure, and the local health authority accepted complete fault and apologised. I have the option of transferring to another authority - and therefore a new set of community MWs.
I'm now 12 weeks pregnant with DC2. I've hired a doula to help me and act as my advocate for my choices and options, for support, and to assist the MWs if I can (I hope, all being well) give birth at home this time. I've been listening to the hypno birthing CD I used last time, which kept me pretty calm for several hours last time. But I just...it doesn't feel enough. I feel so frightened. I know labour is painful but just the complete lack of compassion I faced last time has left me so lacking in trust in any MW. I'm going to check out the other LHA but to be honest, it's completely tainted my ability to see past what happened - and to rationally think, not all MWs are the same. I don't know what to do :(
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Childbirth
Anxious about second labour
21 replies
ZebraZeebra · 20/08/2014 15:50
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