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How to explain damaged bits to doctor?

(5 Posts)
Chickenschicken Sun 20-Apr-14 20:31:13

I'm not normally a shy person but I can't get my head round asking a doctor to check my bits.
I had episiotomy and forceps, ten months ago. When I was in hospital one midwife actually said "oh if they were my bits I'd want them restitched" the consultant then disagreed and said it's been more than 24 hours so we won't anyway.
We managed sex after around 3 months, it's not sharp painful but it feels like I'm being stretched/pulled in the wrong direction. Not enjoyable for either of us! I now live in a different country so have to go straight to a gynae I think, which should be easier but I hate not knowing the system, and just feel so mortified at trying to explain my sex life (or lack of it).

Casmama Sun 20-Apr-14 20:35:03

I think if you come up with a sentence you are comfortable to start you off with then they will take it from there.

"After a forceps delivery and episiotomy, I am unhappy with the way things have healed and it is negatively impacting on my sex life" would something like that work?

PurplePidjin Sun 20-Apr-14 20:39:22

Write it all down in bullet points and hand the doctor the list?

MissUumellmahaye Sun 20-Apr-14 20:40:56

How about "I had forceps and an episiotomy and I'm not sure everything has healed properly, it's sore when I have sex"? They will then suggest they examine you, you won't have to request it.

I had a 3rd degree tear with internal damage that took about 2 years to be pain free, so have explained this lots of times!

Chickenschicken Sun 20-Apr-14 20:54:50

Thank you, just writing it out makes me squirm but if I'm ever to have another baby I need to do something!
I think I'm just scared they'll say tough, that's what happens!
If I'd given birth here it would have been straight to csection rather than forceps, so sort of expect them to know less about episiotomies/scarring etc. irrational head is on.

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