Terrified of my inevitable c-section!

[SJC2014]

help!!! I'm 8 weeks pregnant and terrified!!

I have a condition called uterus didelphys I have 2 wombs and 2 cervixes not only does this cause problems in pregnancy and deem me high risk it also means I will most defiantly be unable to have a VB. The thought or having a c-section really really scares me!! It seems so brutal and horrible!! I need some reassurance it's all I think about and I'm really distressed ð??£

[Squeegle]

Please don't worry. I had a vaginal birth and a Caesarian. The Caesarian was the easiest by far! Both for the actual birth and for the recovery. It was easier to organise, and really not at all painful. I hope that reassures a bit!

[passthetequila]

I've had one EMCS and two ELCS, no problems whatsoever. Quick recoveries and no problems breast feeding. Maybe I've been lucky but wanted to reassure you that a c section doesn't have to be awful. Try not to worry too much and spoil your enjoyment of your pregnancy. Remember the end goal is a baby, the method of delivery is the tiniest part of a whole new life

[racmun]

I had an ELCS with my second and it was wonderful. The recovery was for me no worse than my first delivery (albeit deifferent) my milk supply came in amd I was passed ok to drive after 3 weeks.

It really wasn't awful, so please don't worry.

[HanSolo]

Hi, congratulations on your pg!

My 2 CS were neither brutal, nor horrible. I had one emcs and one elcs. The elcs was 100 times better than the emcs, but that is because it was planned, everyone was calm, I could be excited about baby's arrival rather than scared to death he was dying (as happened first time round with emcs).

Recovery was fine both times, but I would say emotionally far better after the elective, especially as we had no worry about baby's health etc. I had no problems with scar or anything like that. I could drive again after 4 weeks (probably could have before then 2nd time, but I was being careful).

You have a long time to prepare mentally, and physically, so don't worry at this stage. Have a good chat with your consultant- they will explain the process, so you know what is going to happen. Knowing what happens will help you be in the right frame of mind.

Do you mind if I ask a question about your condition?

[Wurstwitch]

I've had an elective CS, and two vbacs.
Vbac1 left me in hospital for a week because they had to repair my undercarriage. Vbac2 left dc3 with brain damage.

To be honest, CS are entirely commonplace, and whilst the thought of any surgery is enough to make you worry, I think you are being a total drama llama. elective cs is entirely calm and well thought out, with lots of staff on hand to deal with any issues.

You can choose whether you want a GA or just a spinal, whether your partner is there or not (in scrubs lol), what music you want playing etc etc.

Just chat to your consultant. There's really no need to fear an elective CS at all. They are very ordinary. And don't swallow the usual hype about vaginal births being the be all and end all. Healthy baby and mum. If you can't have a vb, it really isn't an issue, and whilst you have the right to feel sad about it, it's pointless to get yourself worked up.

Having a CS isn't brutal, and it isn't horrible. If it's medically necessary, educate yourself and lose the hysteria. Knowledge is power.

I'd rather have another CS than mangle myself, put myself at further risk of incontinence, or brain damage another baby, to be honest.

[SJC2014]

Hansolo- ask away!

Thank you for your kind replies and stories I may sound like a drama queen and I know thousands of women have this done every day but I am a whimp! Had my first set of bloods done the other day and I nearly fainted! You have all made me feel so much better my partner does not get my fear! Xxx thanks ladies

[Ragwort]

Please don't worry, I had an EMCS and was absolutely fine, no problems recovering, no scar - in fact I was delighted to have the CS rather than a VB .

Wurst - so sorry to read of your experiences.

[HanSolo]

Hey- it will be the first time you've done it, so you're entitled to worry!

I just wondered whether you had extra ovaries too, or whether 1 ovary was connected to 1 womb, the other to the other. It's amazing your body is like that, pretty rare I think- very special!

I hope you can find someone that has experienced the same, anyway, just to reassure you and share their experience.

[MyDarlingClementine]

To me child birth which ever way you do it is brutal there is no easy option.

However, having had both ways, the ELC whilst a little bit scary when I first went in the room, it was a calm and wonderful experience. I wish I had been able to relax more.

VB is brutal and scary! Your quite lucky you are going to have an ELC.

make sure you get one of these to help after the birth and a v pillow.

www.mumsnet.com/reviews/nursery/cots-cribs-cotbeds/9963-arms-reach-universal-co-sleeper-bedside-cot

moses down stairs this upstairs.

[Mildpanic]

Firstly, big congratulations.
Relax it will be fine. A planned CS is okay, I have had 3 x CS. 2 emcs, 1 planned. Yes I was sore but surely just a different area than someone who has had a vb?
None of the sections were brutal, all very controlled, staff all very reassuring and competent.

If you have an underlying issue (as you say) then I would much rather plan for a controlled CS during the day with the very experienced theatre team than an emergency CS at 3am after hours of labour and on call staff.
Not saying on call staff aren't good but you must get my meaning?
Please try to relax, you will be fine. A CS isn't that bad.

[PisforPeter]

Elective c-sections are lovely, don't worry Xx

[SJC2014]

Hansolo- I have normal ovaries etc.. Just two separate wombs and cervixes! I could potentially get pregnant in one side and have a separate further along pregnancy in the other! They will be checking there are not two babies at my scan! I hope not as I don't have enough room for 2 babies!!

Thanks for sharing your stories they have really relived me, the complications that would cause me to be booked for a section are that there is no space for the baby to turn so It would be breach and another is that my cervix won't dilate or they both will dilate! It's scary as the midwifes where baffled when reading my notes- and couldn't offer much advice apart from that I'm at risk.. so I've been referred to a specialist so I'm
Hoping he will know his stuff xx

[HanSolo]

Thank you 2 pregnancies concurrently would be pretty scary, but presumably once your pg hormones kicked in, you stopped releasing eggs, so no 2nd conception...

My MIL has a bicornate uterus (I know not exactly the same), but she had no problems with her pregnancies, or births.

Have you joined an ante-natal thread on here yet? They're very supportive, and a great way to share issues and talk about fears, and excitements both before and after the birth. They can be really really helpful, particularly on those days when it all seems calamatous, and no-one else understands what you're going though

[christine44]

C section was so relaxed compared to vb. No surprise arrivals all planned ahead of time. Calm music and calm people. Home in 48 hrs. Able to walk next day!! After vb month later was still painful. Try to relax about it and think of positives and enjoy your pregnancy. I was dreading it but it was fine

[SJC2014]

Thanks Christine- that sounds really calm and not scary at all!
I'll have a look at those groups hansolo, yes they said I could have one in each, there are cases where people have had babies months apart with UD I'm not sure how!! But my midwife said as I only had 1 period a month and normal
Ovaries etc mine don't work as separate reproductive systems! Thank god.. Imagine!

Glad I joined now everyone is so lovely and supportive towards each other I think my life just got a bit easier :) x

[AHardDaysWrite]

Another one who had a cs here and loved it. I have very happy memories of my cs, it was calm , the staff were wonderful and I found recovery straightforward. It was much more pleasant than my natural birth!

[nickdrakeslovechild]

I had an ELCS and it was a really nice experience! Took my own cd in which they played in theatre, the anaesthetist who will be by your side the whole time was amazing and put my worries to rest. You will also get a spinal rather than an epidural. I am needle phobic so was dreading the spinal but I can honestly say I didn't even feel it. When the spinal kicked in it felt like my body from the boobs down was in a nice warm bath.
Recovery was good, I was out the next day and was ok walking out and about within a few days. The only negative was I couldn't get out of bed easily, as they cut through your stomach muscles so I couldnt sit up to get out of bed for a couple of weeks so had to do a weird caterpillar wiggle. If you have any questions please just PM me. You may be able to tell I am very Pro ELCS

[SJC2014]

Does the cut through your muscles affect you getting in shape afterwards? will the muscles still tone and harden?.. I'm sorry of I sound dumb I've never had to think about this kind of thing before! Xx

Xxxx

[Wurstwitch]

Yes, exactly the same. You just have to wait to heal, and then go slowly at first, same as any other surgery. You might find you have a slightly different shape, depending on the scar.

[Madamecastafiore]

Don't go worrying yourself about this. I have 3dcs and would have an elective c section over a vaginal birth every day of the week. My first 2 were vaginal births and last one was a section and did I revel in not having a sore messed up under carriage.

[DIYandEatCake]

Well, I agree with everyone that the c section itself was much better than I'd feared - but also wanted to say that it's perfectly natural to be scared and please don't feel like you're a wuss. I had an elcs (for a breech baby) and was absolutely terrified, I'd never been in hospital or even had a filling at the dentist before, so it was completely a fear of the unknown. And the thought of being sliced open while awake is scary, and it is hard to miss out on the sensation of giving birth, having to put your trust in complete strangers and possibly being one of the last people in the room to see/touch your baby. Let yourself grieve for the birth that you can't have, but try to be brave and know that you'll be doing the best for your baby, you are putting their safety first and when you're holding them in your arms afterwards you'll be so thankful that they could be delivered safely.
I can tell you that the surgery itself isn't too bad - I was amazed how good the spinal anaesthetic was and how little I could feel. The waiting was by far the worst bit (and I only had a few weeks to get in a state about it!) and once it was underway I could deal with it fine. I've had an elcs and a vbac now, and while personally i'd choose the vbac any day, I bonded with both babies just the same, breastfed both, and as others have said, on the other side of it you realise that birth is just a means to starting a wonderful life with your new baby, and how it goes, as l

[DIYandEatCake]

Oops, as long as you're both healthy, ceases to matter so much.
I just wanted to say I sympathise with your fear, and that you're not alone in having those feelings.
It might help, as time gets closer, to focus on what you can control, and learn as much as you can about looking after a newborn, breastfeeding etc., try to think past the big day itself, don't torture yourself reading birth stories, read baby care books instead. All the best.

[Allinson2014]

Hi, I understand how you feel. I am really a wimp, I have to psych myself up for days for blood tests etc. I've had two sections before, both elective and I will be having my third in 9 weeks. The morning of my first section I was waiting in the hospital foyer for my mum to arrive and when my EXDP went to the toilet I tried to run away. I was so scared. Luckily I passed my mum as I was making my escape and she talked some sense into me! I have to say though that both sections were calm, peaceful and much easier than I imagined. After the second one I was home the next morning. You need a needle in your hand for the drip, that was easy, they gave me some local anaesthetic first and it was no worse than a blood test. The spinal I was absolutely dreading, however it was really straight forward. Just a bit of a sting while they give you a local anaesthetic and then I didn't feel anything after that. If you think about it, they need you keep really still because of the area they're injecting in so the have to make it as pain free as possible. After that it's really just waiting for your baby to be born. If I can do it honestly anybody can. Good luck, I am sure you will be fine.

[cottonwoolmum]

Hi OP, not read the whole thread, but wanted to join in with other posters who say C-sections can be fine. I loved mine. The staff played music and sang to DS as he came out. I had no pain at any time and felt really well afterwards. You really don't need to worry. It is a very safe way for a baby to be born.