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Traumatic first birth - Wondering whether to have elective C section for second baby... advice please!

(19 Posts)
roseinwinter Fri 14-Mar-14 20:59:02

We're just starting to think about trying for DC2 but I had such a bad labour with our DD and I'm feeling really scared about going through it all again...

Long story short - we were in the birth centre but DD was in the wrong position during 2nd stage of labour and got stuck. We were left alone for 20 mins when the (very junior) midwives were knew there was a problem and were scared but there was no room on labour ward. By the time we got to the labour ward DD was very distressed. The doctor tried but failed to manually turn her (I'd had no pain relief at this stage). I was rushed into theatre for an episiotomy and forceps delivery. DD was very distressed when delivered - APGAR of 2 and taken straight to intensive care before I even saw her. I didn't hold her until day 3 and when I did she started having seizures, which turned out to be a stroke.

We left hospital after 8 days and she is now a perfectly normal healthy 13 month old but still I am not sure I can face the prospect of labour again. We were told at the time we could have an elective caesarian next time - but I know that this option is not risk free either.
Has anyone been in the same position? Any thoughts/advice?
Thanks x

Mushypeasandchipstogo Fri 14-Mar-14 22:19:49

Elective CS every time! I will be hammered for this but I think it is ano brainier in your situation.

MrsBarlow Fri 14-Mar-14 22:26:54

I had a traumatic birth with DS1, now pregnant with DS2 and having an elective section - I know all the risks etc but for me the risks of a vaginal birth and all that might entail we're far greater so decided this was the better option x

steppemum Fri 14-Mar-14 22:30:32

I had a very long drawn out difficult birth with dc1.

With dcs 2 and 3 I had to be induced, but only pessary, then I had quite straightforward, easy labours, no pain relief, pretty text book, and it was amazing to do after the awful experience with dc1.

springlamb Fri 14-Mar-14 22:31:19

It took me 7 years after my very traumatic emergency c-section with ds to pluck up the courage to try again.
DD was born by elective, 3 weeks before her EDD to ensure I would not go into labour. I had the full support of my consultant and the midwifery team at the hospital who all knew the history.
It was a very positive experience and was the only way for me.

TeaAndALemonTart Fri 14-Mar-14 22:37:02

I had a very traumatic birth first time, failed ventouse, forceps, episiotomy. An hour if stitches etc. Second time around no problems, waters broke and DS2 born 3 minutes later with just 2 stitches.

SnapCackleFlop Fri 14-Mar-14 22:42:36

Sorry you had such a terrible time. It hasn't been all that long since you gave birth and I think you're very brave (I had a gap of almost 5 years between my children and big part of this due to fear).

SofiaAmes Fri 14-Mar-14 22:44:53

I had an emergency cs (after 40 hours of labor) for my first and a vbac for my 2nd. If I had it to do all over again, I would have elective cs for both. I am still traumatized from my first delivery (he's 13 now) and in pain from the vbac (she's 11 now). I was 37 and 39 when I had mine. Our bodies are made to have babies at 13, not late 30's.

HauntedNoddyCar Fri 14-Mar-14 22:51:04

No question surely?

I was offered an ELCS at my first consultant appt. I took that option essentially because any sign of things being complicated would panic me i(and them with my history). I just needed birth to be controlled and quick.

In your situation I would do the same.

whereisshe Fri 14-Mar-14 22:56:41

Sofia I'm sorry you had such a bad experience but it's not just about age. I had a trouble free 9 hour home birth with DC1 at the age of 36.

OP I can't give advice for your situation based on mine but I can thoroughly recommend having an independent midwife, mine made me feel so much safer and more in control.

rocket74 Fri 14-Mar-14 23:00:58

I had an elec csection after an awful first birth (which ended in c-section). I did debate it for ages and a part of me felt sad to not have a natural birth but I 100% do not regret my decision.
The doctors and midwives didnt question my decision based on my notes and the same will probably go for you.

AmIGoingMad Fri 14-Mar-14 23:13:36

I had difficult first birth with DS. Was set for vaginal birth with dd but was starting to really worry about it. Had consultant appt when overdue and dd presented breech so elcs was arranged. When I got there she'd turned but I then realised how much I needed ( mentally if not physically too) to have cs and not vaginal birth.

The reason I'm saying 'vaginal birth' and not 'natural' is because is get mightily pissed off with people who judge.

For me elcs was amazing. It was the best thing for me and for baby. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I recovered so much more quickly and felt so much more in control. I can't recommend it enough.

roseinwinter Fri 14-Mar-14 23:15:16

Thanks all- good to hear about others' experiences. It's interesting to hear views on both sides. I think I'm going to have to wait and see how I feel about it when I'm actually pregnant (fingers crossed).
Rocket - I really relate to the feeling sad about not having a natural birth and if I'm totally honest I still do feel a bit cheated about DD's birth. Ridiculous I know, as we're so lucky she's healthy and happy. So in some ways I feel I should do it again 'properly'.

roseinwinter Fri 14-Mar-14 23:17:31

Sorry AmI... For 'natural' above read 'unassisted'. I had a forceps delivery with DD.

wherethewildthingis Fri 14-Mar-14 23:17:46

Have the c section. I had an emergency c section when my son became very distressed when I had been in labour for a 36 hours. I wish I had asked for it earlier, I recovered really well and was home two days later.

wherethewildthingis Fri 14-Mar-14 23:20:51

And I had a general anaesthetic - so I really did miss out on the birth and felt really sad that neither I, or dh, was there when our son was born (partners have to leave if you have a general). So not wanting to freak you out but that is something to consider, if they need to get baby out really quick they may do that anyway. At least of you go elective you can plan it and will be conscious

AmIGoingMad Fri 14-Mar-14 23:32:29

Don't apologise for saying 'natural' rose. I was just trying to make the point that often the vaginal option is seen as THE way and cs whether emergency or elective is judged. I personally would opt for cs if there was another time for us. But I really feel that whatever is right for you is 'natural' for you too if that make sense?

MyDarlingClementine Sat 15-Mar-14 20:36:34

Rose you can't really dictate how the babies going to lie, what's going to happen. What happened to you, was natural, thats labour, its un predictable.

That is the nature of the beast.

In your position there would be no way on this earth would I be going through labour again, elc 100%.

roseinwinter Sun 16-Mar-14 20:33:26

AmI - yes that totally does make sense. I firmly believe every mother should be applauded and respected regardless of how she gave birth. It is totally irrelevant. (It drives me mad when you hear people boasting about how so and so only had paracetamol, as if they somehow tried harder than others)
I also agree that there are judgements made about cs. To be honest I was guilty of that before I had DD but feel very differently now.
MyDarling and all - thanks for your views. You've made me feel a lot better about it.

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