1st Birth Horrendous, 2nd Child Wanted but Terrified - This is my story! NO2(4 Posts)
2nd night on ward - Later on around 11am the lady in the bed next to me pressed her buzzer and said to the MW who came that there was water leaking from my bed to hers it was my catheter it was full and had not been changed or checked. I ended up having to buz twice for assistance (I hate buzzing them but I had no other option), this particular MW not the one who asked me to get up in the morning a new one, was not impressed she was sour faced, never spoke to me just waited for me to ask for her help then did what I asked I thanked her the second time she came as she put him in my arms to feed him then put him back into his little cot. DS started to be sick he was laid on his back and I thought he would choke I went into panic mode as I tried to reach him and I pressed the buzzer quite frantically. Same MW came to me again told me to stop pressing as there are other ppl that need help in here not just me. She picked up my son, thrust him onto my chest and left (she didn't put the sides up on the bed), DS fell asleep on me and we were both wet covered in his milk that he'd continued to throw up. I felt like a naughty teenager and I didn't dare ring the buzzer again it was 1am in the morning. I stayed up all night holding my son I was petrified that he would fall off the edge. I don't know how I managed to stay awake and keep my son in my arms but I somehow did at 6am the lovely lady (not a MW unknown occupation who came to my aid the first night) came to see us. I was hysterical by this point and couldn't stop crying, she again took my son for an hour so I could sleep. By the time my DH came in and I had seen sense I was livid my son could have fallen from my arms onto the hard floor and had serious injuries and I was too weak minded to call her back and demand she help us. As most of you will know who have had babies your not quite yourself those first few day's your quite vulnerable and unsure of yourself.
My DH was outraged and complained. After a few hours we were given a private room, and a MW called in every hour to check if I needed anything. I spent a further 4 day's in hospital recovering.
This is the first time I have ever told this in full as it really upsets me and DH can't bear to talk it over either. We want another baby but what are the odd's of this happening again? Should I be put off? Was I 1 in a million who just fell through the cracks? The NHS seriously let me, DH and DS down so much so that even now when we have doctor appointment's I don't trust them I seek second opinions and always check online especially when it comes to my DS. I never used to be like this I have always trusted my doctors advise and expertise.
So sorry how long this is but I just felt it was time to put pen to paper so to speak and start to tackle this, thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
Crikey I don't know what to say, so far from my own expereince. My sister had an emcs - beforehand care was a bit poor but lovely care throughout the cs and afterwards, I really don't think yours was a typical situation but with your pre-existing condition I don't understand why they didn't have it all over your birth notes so everyone knew what was going on and the level of help you would need.
Have you had some debriefs with the drs and MW's I assume you were consultant led so still have a contact name if not I�m sure your MW at the GP could help you organie this. I think getting to the bottom of what happened and why would be very helpful for you both to come to terms with it all. And to decide if you should be formally complaining about aspects of your care - I would if it were me.
What's your hope for your second birth? - planned CS, a private MW or Doula, would Home birth be an option for you with your blood condition? I think there are lots of options to make it better for you but that you are right to be cautious and plan it out so you are confident going into your labour.
dont worry about second checking, its good not to 100% rely on any ones advice, I have always read round my subject.
You will find lots of excellent advice on here about second births, coping mechanisms and so on.
I would think you would or should be under consultant care next time, as far as I am aware they are quite senior and tend to get things done...
Can you put a call into birth crisis to talk through things.
In terms of a second birth maybe spend some time after debriefing looking into alternate pain relief things like having a doula, hynobirthing, water (hot showers at home or a birth pool), movement techniques and also look into elective cesarean possibly engaging a doula at the same time.
I noticed on the other post you names your son in full you might want to consider removing the name. Just contact HQ.
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