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Please calm me down!

(19 Posts)
greyslates Sat 15-Feb-14 16:43:51

I'm not the sort of person who usually gets worried/stressed about things, but am currently terrified. I have to go for an induction at a hospital I really don't want to go to, having read the reviews of the place I now feel even worse, some of the stories are really horrendous. Does anyone have any positive stories to cheer me up?

exhaustedmummymoo Sat 15-Feb-14 17:46:12

You'll be fine. How many weeks are you? I held off till 42 weeks! But I know midwives in this country don't like going over 41 weeks because of complications. Remember its your body and providing its not twins you're over 40 etc you have got a say re- being induced. If you are really concerned about your hospital, patient choice means you can choose a different one. But honestly greyslates being induced is fine, people love to scarmonger, but think about all the thousands of women who are induced everyday and give birth and happy healthy babies. Of course it's natural to feel anxious it's the unknown, but your body is incredible and it will know what to do, and despite the scare stories if you tell the midwives you are frightened they will look after you, they are well trained professionals who will want the best for you and your baby. You could try walking like a crab to get things going naturally, raspberry leaf tea is also meant to help things get going! Or one of my very hippy friends believes that if you talk to your baby nicely and sit quietly talking to your little one s/he will start the process off (theory being its the baby that releases the hormones that sets off birth!) not sure how helpful this, but you will be fine.

greyslates Sat 15-Feb-14 17:52:37

Thank you smile Nearly 42. The other hospitals near here don't seem to get much better reviews. I just read one from someone who has been induced where I'm going and it just sounds awful. Really recent too! She was scared and begging for pain relief and wasn't given it sad
Thank you for all the positive points though, like you say probably lots of people had a much better experience! I'm trying raspberry leaf already and will try the crab thing! Have been talking to him too!

crazykat Sat 15-Feb-14 18:11:26

I was induced with my ds2 due to gestational diabetes. It was fine. Not great having the pessary put in but that was expected.

The only thing I really didn't like was the monitor they put me on in labour to check ds2's heart rate, I needed to lie back for the monitor but wanted to lean forward so they put a different monitor on.

All in all I'd say it was no better or worse than with my other DCs, just different at the beginning and having to have a monitor.

exhaustedmummymoo Sat 15-Feb-14 18:11:30

There may have been a very sound medical reason for why the other mum wasn't offered pain relief, but the midwives may not have explained it clearly to her, try and keep relaxed, I promise you your body will know what to do, and before you know it you will have the most amazing little bundle in your arms and the whole giving birth thing will be forgotten! keep meditating! You will be fine and don't read anymore reviews! X

greyslates Sat 15-Feb-14 18:25:08

Thank you both, it is helping having someone who has been through it to calm me down. I'm sure me getting upset is not likely to persuade him to arrive by himself before I have to be induced!

This is the review that is particularly worrying me! (Will avoid looking at any more now!)

'' I never saw the same midwive twice and never got handed over it seemed the nice midwive I had first never came back in, instead I had midwives who were cold and clinical no care what so ever. After 24 hours I was given a 2nd pill and this was after 9pm and I had my husband and mother in law with me who were my birthing partners, by this time the ward was full and the lady next to me had been in so much pain and kept asking to be checked and have pain relief and she was ignored and offered paracetamol (how on earth do they think that will take away the pain) she would cry and cry and beg but nothing, you could hear ladies screaming as they were in labour and I couldn't understand why I was getting more and more scared. Then after 20min the pain hit me it was excruciating I never felt pain like it, they had examined me prior to putting it in and I was 1-2 cm which wasn't classed as active labour but I know my body and I knew I was fully dialated and I was pushing with the pain. I told them and begged for gas and air and they would not give it to me as they said it was in the labour room and there was no way I was in active labour and when I told them to check me like the other lady I was refused and offered paracetamol which I refused I was in excruciating pain words can not explain. I was crying and screaming for pain relief and help only to be ignored, not forgetting I was on a shared ward so we all heard each other go through labour which was so shameful and gave you no privacy or freedom to be how you wanted. After a long time of screaming crying etc my husband went and told the midwive that she could give me pethadine and after hearing me say I was reporting them they decided to give it to me but it didn't work all it did make me drowsy between contractions, I begged and begged to have some gas and air but they kept making excuses saying it wouldn't do anything to the pain especially after having pethadine, which I told them I knew was a lie as that's what I had with my two other labours, they still refused to examin me and in the end after much screaming in pain they moved me into a private delivery room and left me again with no pain relief, they didn't believe I was even in labour! I must have done an awful scream as they came running in and I begged them to check me as I could feel him coming and they said they would but they doubted I was even in established labour and if they did it I needed to stop asking for pain relief! So they checked and to their astonishment I was fully dialated and baby right there, my waters went immediately and I pushed him out in 13min with no pain relief as it was too late. I am now left traumatised by my experience and don't want any more kids because of the pain and suffering I endured. I was moved to a next ward and they sent my husband home even tho I had my own room, he had no time to bond or support me, come morning I asked to be discharged at 9am and by 2pm I was still waiting I was told there were only 2 midwives to 38 women, I had to wait hours for pain relief in the end I discharged myself, my baby didn't see a doctor for his 24hr check at one point he was gagging and bringing up fluid I ran with him to the desk (ward 30) and there was people in the office and patients scattered around, I was stood there for about 3 mins not knowing what to do I was so scared as I was about to walk away a person said are you ok I said no something's wrong with my baby and luckily they were a doctor from another ward and offered to look at him. Never ever again would I go to that hospital, my son is 4 weeks old now and I'm still traumatised and suffer with anxiety and post natal depression. This hospital needs to be serious changes and should be held accountable.''

SuntannedTortoise Sat 15-Feb-14 18:45:28

What a horrible experience for the woman in the review sad

Is there a medical reason for you being induced? Whatever the situation, you have the right to decline it. Obviously you wouldn't want to endanger yourself or your baby but it's your decision to make, and if it's just down to you being overdue, please don't feel pressured into it.

If you do end up being induced, as others have said, other people have been and they end up fine with perfectly lovely babies! It is said to be a bit more painful but you shouldn't be neglected by hospital staff. You could consider going to a different hospital if you'd feel unhappy with that one. And maybe make it very clear when you go in that denying you examination or pain relief would result in a formal complaint.

Hoping your baby comes before the induction so you won't have to think about any of this, but whatever happens, you can do it! You have successfully grown a baby and you are capable of coping with whatever birth throws at you smile

exhaustedmummymoo Sat 15-Feb-14 18:53:17

Greyslates, have you looked around the hospital mentioned above? Have you talked to your own midwife? Working in the nhs myself if you feel you are not being listened to, tell the midwives you want a) to make a formal complaint b) demand an incident form be filled in and 3) you will be contacting the quality control commission. if that doesn't get you the best ever treatment nothing will!! Of course you may need your birthing partner to say all of this! But please please please try and stop worrying, giving birth is painful but you will be fine just insist on gas and air, deep breathing help but its hard to do. But the more anxious you become the harder it will be. Remember one women's experaince of what happened may not actually be what happened. I am not belittling the above review but a traumatic experaince can distort memories, so again try not to worry. You can also mention the words safeguarding...this will also get you top care!!! Ps don't tell anyone I told you!

greyslates Sat 15-Feb-14 19:03:32

Tortoise, it is just because of being overdue. I was supposed to go somewhere else, but can't go there if I am overdue/induced. Yes fingers crossed he comes before then!

exhausted, no I haven't looked round because I was supposed to be going somewhere else, but can't go there as planned if I have to be induced. I talked to my midwife originally and she was the one who suggested going to the original place and told me how much better it was than where I may now have to go. Thank you for suggesting the steps to take if I'm not happy with how it is going, I will try to stay relaxed! Am I right in thinking they should give pain relief if I ask for it? I won't ask unless I need it, so would be very upset to then be told I couldn't have any! Yes, a friend went to this hospital last year and her husband had to mention safeguarding in order to get better care for her after some pretty awful things happened to her too sad Things improved after he kicked up a fuss, apparently.

exhaustedmummymoo Sat 15-Feb-14 19:25:25

Yes they have to give you pain relief, but not pethidine or epidural, as it depends where you get to in your labour, ok so I am guessing you we're hoping to go to a community hospital where they have a labour ward and because of being induced its now the acute hospital? Both my work experaince and own birthing experaince is acute hospitals are more regimented, less flexible and less personal...but this is no excuse for sloppy care or grumpy midwives! But I also know health professionals will go the extra mile to avoid complaints!! So any whiff of incident form, safeguarding or CQC will have them giving you the care you would expect. But you still have a bit of time so I'm crossing fingers that you little one gets going tonight. Keep walking up and down stairs side ways, deep breathing and keep saying 'come on little its time you met me and your daddy'. Let me know how it goes. Thinking of you lots x x x

greyslates Sat 15-Feb-14 19:29:00

Thank you for all your help and yes I will make sure to update, hopefully with good news that I was worried for no reason in the end and it all went well!

clareth Sat 15-Feb-14 20:23:11

I just wanted to post to hopefully give you some reassurance.

I was induced with both of my babies, due to going overdue, and honestly it was fine smile I found it easiest to take each process one step at a time, I really tried not to overthink it into one long painfest but break it down into manageable chunks.

Once the pessary started to work and things started to happen, I did take paracetamol (I'm sure it did fuck all but I took them anyway!), next when things got a little worse I had a really hot bath (was great as contractions started building) I started to use gas and air as things progressed. The midwifes were busy but they did make sure that this was available and I hope that this is the same for you.

The lady who wrote of her experience in the hospital that i think has frightened you? It could be that she was in transitional labour (this is usually the point where you feel like you can't go on, had enough, shout, scream, want to go home! But it means that the birth is imminent) Sorry I'm sure you know this I just wanted to try and reassure it is all completely normal!

I remember getting a bit shouty and screamy and the midwife actually took the gas off me so I could focus a bit on pushing. By this stage there really is no point in having an epidural, and also when your body knows it's time to push and when your body takes over it really does know what to do smile

Anyway after having both births induced I just wanted to say that it can all work out wonderfully, it doesn't always mean a hideous experience.

I hope you will have your bundle in your arms really soon smile (And once they're here you'll forget how they got there anyway cos nothing else will matter!!)

All the best to you xxxx

clareth Sat 15-Feb-14 20:34:24

Sorry I just reread the lady's account of giving birth, she obviously felt like she wasn't looked after at all which is very sad. sad Although I will say that I'm sure there are positive and negative reviews for every hospital, try to keep that in mind. Xx

Pinter Sat 15-Feb-14 21:10:33

I was induced & I was very scared of it beforehand

It was fine. If I had my time again though, I would have had an epidural as by the time I really wanted one it was too late. My body really did take over with the pushing

Do what you can beforehand though, see if you can't make him come without the induction. Walking walking walking was recommended to me & our floors were never so clean as I was on all fours keeping her in the right position

Have you got a birth plan?

everythinghippie29 Sat 15-Feb-14 21:14:58

Firstly I think people are more likely to right a negative review than a positive so don't worry if they seem to be mainly negative.

I was induced at 42 weeks (8weeks ago!) with my first and I was totally terrified. I wanted my dreamy, water birth with minimal intervention! Ha...nope.

I was told I wouldn't go to labour ward until 4cm dilated and that DP would have to go home at 9 if I wasn't in active labour. That until active labour I would only be offered paracetamol etc... I was very upset at hearing this (from the midwives I asked)

Well, none of that happened. They suggested I try all natural pain relievers (bath, bouncing on a ball, paracetamole etc) but I wasn't coping well so even though I was only 2.cm dilated I went through to labour ward and had gas and air and then pethadine when needed. My D.P was allowed to stay. On labour ward there were changable midwives and I had two changes during active labour, however all the staff were great and when I was in the full swing I didn't mind who was there!

The induction was in now way as bad as I thought it was going to be. I ended up having a episiotomy, forceps delivery, again it was nowhere near as awful as I thought it would be and I was just so happy to have my little boy here safe and sound I didn't care how he arrived. Overall though I had a really positive induction experience and I had read bad reviews, negative induction experiences and was an emotional wreck! The hospital were a credit to the NHS.

My advice would be to go with the flow, don't think about any birth 'plans'. You are scared and anxious and so will prob play worse case scenarios if you are anything like me but I'm sure you will do fantastically and I can say from experience, after going two weeks overdue its nice to finally not be pregnant anymore! grin

Sorry for the rambling and hope it gives you a little bit of hope. It is scary, it does hurt but 8 weeks down the line I would do it all again.

Good Luck and congratulations. thanks

everythinghippie29 Sat 15-Feb-14 21:15:43

*write(!)

greyslates Sun 23-Feb-14 12:21:20

Finally back to update, unfortunately the review I read was pretty accurate! Horrible experience, won't be doing that again! Baby safe and well though, so that is the main thing!

everythinghippie29 Sun 23-Feb-14 21:00:38

Oh no, sorry you had a horrible experience but congratulations on the safe arrival of your baby and well done for doing safely under the less than ideal circumstances!

Enjoy mummydom. thanks

Pinter Mon 24-Feb-14 04:27:37

Oh dear. Do you get the opportunity to do feedback with the hospital?

Congratulations btw thanks

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