feeling lost

[misslizzyxl]

This may seem silly but I have been really confused and worried about going into labour. .. its not the actual labour side but the fact it seems so unplanned. Im 38 weeks pregnant and I feel my midwife is always in a rush to talk about a birthing plan. I would like a water birth, which I understand may not be possible, but she said I may just have to have a bath at home and changed the topic.
I dont know if I need to let a hospital or birthing centre know im going there or just turn up in labour.
I feel I cant discuss with midwife as I had to cancel my thurs appt as I had a dodgy tummy and the only other appt to see her is the 26th. .the day before my due date.
I understand I am low risk but I feel like because I haven't been kicking up a fuss that I may be a little forgotten about.
Advice or words of wisdom would be great. Thanks x

[MsPickle]

Hi I know what you mean about it feeling so random! Firstly, don't panic. It's normal to want to know these things. Do you see the same midwife each time? Could you call to talk through what to do? With my first, hospital birth, I was told to call the ward to let them know I thought I'd started. Then to call again about going in at the point I felt I was starting to need help. The water birth was all down to whether a pool was free, in the event I did most of the labour at home in the bath then had a room with a pool but no time to fill it! With #2 I was at home (planned water birth ) so rang the midwife when my contractions were 3 in 10 minutes I think. That may have been a similar criteria first time around thinking about it...have they not given you some sheets of info?

What I have learnt though is that you can be assertive and ask the questions. I could have been more so first time around.

[dizhin79]

check your notes, in mine there's a whole check list of what to do, when to do it and who to call and with numbers all listed on the back. I know all the trusts are different but it may answer a few of your queries

[PastaandCheese]

Where are you booked in? You should have a note of which hospital you are intending to go to in your notes.

Can you book a tour next week so you know where you're going and they can talk you through the admission?

[Sid77]

Does your local hospital run a little course for first time parents? Mine did and they went through it all - when to call the labour ward, what signs to look for. I'm afraid I think you need to bite the bullet and talk to your midwife - make a bit of a fuss. Call her and ask for an additional appt or call the midwifery team and discuss your concerns and ask to speak to someone face to face. It's not good enough that you feel in the dark about things. You should do this sooner rather than later... Good luck

[hazchem]

Make a fuss. Ask for help and tell them you are feeling uncertain. It's also not to late to try to find a doula who would take time to help you decided about birth and then advocate for what you want with the midwifery team on the day.

[Izzyalex]

Don't be scared to speak out or ask questions, I was the same with my first, had real problems bf dd and didn't get offered any help or support so ended up going home and struggling on my own.
If it hadn't been for the community midwife who visited 4 days after she was born I would've given up.
I know it's not the same situation but the principle of speaking up is the same. You don't want to end up regretting not speaking out and tbh it's their job to support you and facilitate your needs as much as they can.

Stay strong xx

[Hulafox]

I'm at the same stage as you - and I have been given a 24-hour hospital phone number that is manned by midwives, and told to call if there is anything I'm unsure of, and also to call when labour starts and that they will advise on when to come in etc. Worth seeing if your hospital has something similar?

Good luck!

[TinyTwoTears]

Another one agreeing that you need to call your MW back especially if you missed an appt. she may have been planning to go through your birth plan then. She definitely should have given you a number to call when labour starts.

Definitely ring the birthing centre to let them know you are coming. They may ask questions and advise you to hang on at home for a bit. If you want a water birth then I think that should have been written in your notes I think. Has the MW asked you anything about your birth plan? There were a list of questions in the back of my notes about cord cutting and such.
Have an idea in your own mind about what you want so at least you can tell people your wishes on the day.