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Planned homebirth is no more

(11 Posts)
Mummyk1982 Wed 12-Feb-14 08:10:58

Hi all,
Homebirth was all planned out, pool bought etc. then on Monday my varicose veins down below got sore so saw gp in case of clot, he took one look and referred to obstetrician cos the veins are big. So yesterday saw obstetrician who was lovely and very informative, told me the veins that we can see are large but not too bad, but he's more concerned about how heavily vascularised the lower edge of my 'bits' are, that he's not seen anything like it before and that if I should tear or need an episiotomy I'd be at risk of haemorrhage. For those reasons he advises I should deliver in hospital- but I can still go on midwife led birth unit (phew!), and that I shouldn't deliver in water as they wouldn't be able to get me out quick enough if I bled ( though I can labour in the pool).
He was very nice about it all, explained everything and I am so grateful that he's discovered this issue as it would have been horrific to haemorrhage at home. But can't help but feel a little deflated that not only is my homebirth out the window, but so is the water birth. Hubby pretty gutted too :-(

dizhin79 Wed 12-Feb-14 11:19:13

but you will have a safe birth and healthy mama and baby at the end of it xx

Izzyalex Wed 12-Feb-14 18:54:04

I understand how disappointed you are, but you have to protect your health too. Midwife led units are pretty good now - have you been to have a look round?
Best of luck xx

hazchem Thu 13-Feb-14 09:01:01

Oh you poor thing. I completely understand where you are coming from. DS was meant to be a Homebirth but right at the end the HCP decided it wasn't suitable. I was so upset. I still am in away. I felt a real loss for the type of birth I wanted in a personal, spiritual, political, cultural way. Personally birth has a lot to do with my family culture and not being able to homebirth really upset me. It might be worth talking to someone to explore how you are feeling so that it doesn't impact on you labouring. A doula, maybe the NCT helpline or even Birth Crisis the first name on the birth crisis contact list was my antenatal teacher and she is a wonderful and supportive woman. Looking back at my own labour I wish I had worked through things before it start.

I did have a "good" birth in the end. In a standard labour room. No pool as I arrived and was 9 and bit cms so they didn't have time to fill the pool. It took only a few pushes and DS was born. I held him naked and new, fed him for a long long time. I was out within about 12 hours. One amazing thing that happened after the birth was that when I was wheeled hold DS to the ward every single person smiled at me and said congratulation. It's perhaps the fondest memory of have of the hospital aspect of the birth. I get teary and smiley thinking about it now and it was three years ago.

Dizhin have to say I find comments like that undermining to the experiences of women who labour and birth in ways they don't want. While thisblog talks about women who have had cesareans the sentiments also cover women who can't have the type of birth they want.

PastaandCheese Thu 13-Feb-14 09:37:14

Different situation to you but I was diagnosed with gestational hypertension in 40th week last time so had to deliver in consultant led unit, continuous monitoring, admitted to hospital in advance of birth etc.

One thing I read that helped me is that it is normal to mourn the loss of the birth you hoped and planned for. I think that really summed up my feelings as I went from never having a health problem in my life to being hooked up to machines in a hospital.

Comments about healthy babies and mothers do not help because you've already accepted the importance of that by making the decision to transfer to hospital. Your actions demonstrate your understanding of that.

It doesn't mean you aren't allowed to wish this wasn't happening to you and that things were different.

I really hope that it all goes well for you. I'm down for a birth centre this time and at 38 weeks I'm on tenter hooks that I'll be transferred if my problems resurface. The birth centre here looks lovely so I hope I get to use it!

Wolfiefan Thu 13-Feb-14 09:40:59

My DD was supposed to be a lovely home water birth. I started to bleed and had to go in to hospital (not even a MW led centre.)
Turned out to be for the best. My entire labour was 59 minutes once it started. I dread to think what would've happened if I had been at home alone or out and about!
She's 4 now and I can honestly say I'm just glad we are both ok. I couldn't care less about where she was born. (And I hate hospitals!)
Wishing you and your baby the bestx

Mummyk1982 Fri 21-Feb-14 20:36:41

Thanks for your lovely comments ladies. Trying to focus on my hypnobirthing techniques and really hope that the team on duty when I go in have a decent understanding of it and don't poo poo it- at least I can retain an element if the birth I'd planned for :-)

Swannykazoo Fri 21-Feb-14 20:40:33

You've maybe already asked & been told no but would you be able to use the birth pool for some time in labour then get out for pushing stage?

elliebe13 Fri 21-Feb-14 20:47:56

If it helps I really wanted home birth, got told in labour no midwives available to come to me. Had the most brilliant hospital birth on midwife unit in the amazing pool and it was everything I could have hoped for. I would go there again over home birth if I had a choice. Good luck smile

elliebe13 Fri 21-Feb-14 20:49:36

Also my friend laboured in the pool and got out to deliver the baby. I also got out at 10cm to be examined but got straight back in to deliver, although I doubt it would have been much different on dry land pushing is always a bit of a blur.

MavisG Fri 21-Feb-14 21:09:01

I had to give up home birth plans for dc2. I am sorry you are going through this too. Taking a quilt, pictures, personal stuff helped me create a birthing 'space' mentally and I used hypnobirthing so effectively my husband couldn't persuade a midwife to come until my baby crowned.
I let them talk me into staying another night, regret that - no reason you shouldn't be back in your own home as soon as you feel able to travel there. Hope it all goes well.

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