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Terrified of childbirth after first time

(27 Posts)
mrsm22 Sun 28-Jul-13 12:15:22

Hello all, I haven't been on this site for a while but found it ever so helpful after having my first baby who is now 18 months old. Unfortunately I had quite a horrible birth experience (although obviously I came through it and most importantly my baby was healthy and well) but this has left me desperately wanting to try for another baby but terrified of another frightening labour experience Nd I would be grateful for any advice. As my baby is 18 months old I would like to try again in the next few months for a second baby. I went back on the pill after my baby so plan to come off the pill in a few months if I dare go through labour again. I am a person who hates hospitals and wanted a home birth with my first baby but as my husband was nervous we opted for a hospital birth. To cut a long story short I ended up with a forceps delivery and an episiotomy and lost a lot of blood. I also had 3rd degree tear which I am concerned about. After I was stitched up after my episiotomy, a week or so later I had to go back to hospital as my stitches had all come away and I was left to let the area heal itself. This meant daily baths in salt water 3 times a day, an awful lot of pain and unable to walk or do very much while I waited 2 months for it to heal up itself. If I get pregnant a second time, is it ok to have a natural birth when I have had a 3rd degree year and an episiotomy? My first choice would be a home bitty for next time but I am not sure if this is recommended but I feel that I'd I had had a home birth first time I would have avoided the problems I had in hospital. Any advice would be gratefully received. I would like to give birth at home with no epidural and maybe just has and air but am worried in case their would be risk of my previous tears or episiotomy opening up again or tearing. Many thanks for reading this. Mrsm22

lilmamma Thu 01-Aug-13 21:38:24

my first was forceps and manual rotation, and a lot of stitches, my 2nd was straight forward, but i did get stitches again, but he was 9lb 2 and a half smile my 3rd was no stitches yippee, and by no4, youd think he would fall out, no forceps and stitches again sad

Xmasbaby11 Thu 01-Aug-13 22:46:32

Hi OP. I Can totally relate to being afraid of the labour. My DD is 18 months and delivery was long and traumatic, similar to yours. Although no problem with healing, My hip was also pulled out of its socket because I was in stirrups for so many hours, and I couldn't walk properly for a couple of weeks.

A couple of months post partum I had a massive prolapse of the uterus which is uncomfortable and causes various problems. This was caused by the very long labour and large baby (9 15).

After all this I could not think of the labour without feeling very upset, but still wanted another child so now I am 14 weeks pregnant. Because of the traumatic birth and the prolapse, which could get worse during labour, I have been recommended a c section which for me in a massive weight off my mind. I could not face another vaginal birth (although I guess I could if this was recommended as the best option). My consultant was very supportive - in fact I saw a few. People did tell me the second labour should be easier but in my case a c section is less risky.

Obviously your situation is different to mine, but I suppose I just wanted to say I was impressed with the time given to me and consideration given to my feelings and opinions. It is a great relief to me that I don't have to go through labour again as I would be dreading it every single day - in contrast to my first pregnancy when I felt very positive and prepared for it, not knowing the nightmare it would be.

I know a c section has its own risks, but for me this is the best option. I hope you're able to have a home birth as I think it's so important to feel positive about the labour. Best of luck.

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