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Poll-Your Mum at the birth?

(276 Posts)
IndecisivePramBuyer81 Mon 24-Jun-13 16:28:58

For those with DH's - did you have/would you have your Mum at the birth of your first child?

welshfirsttimemummy Mon 24-Jun-13 22:14:15

No I didn't have my mum. I just didn't feel the need for her there with my DH.

FamiliesShareGerms Mon 24-Jun-13 22:18:51

I nearly had my mum there, because DH was delayed getting to the hospital, and had he not made it I would rather she had stayed than me be on my own. As it was, it was just DH and me, but mum was the first to see me and DS after it was over, which was special as well.

TolliverGroat Mon 24-Jun-13 22:19:01

No, no way, not in a million years.

And I have nothing against my mother. She's lovely. But I would rather be on my own than have her there (for DC2 I nearly was on my own, because DH only just made it as the baby was crowning).

2468Motorway Mon 24-Jun-13 22:19:50

I love my mum and she saw my babies asap after the birth. But no I didn't want her there. It was a private, amazing time for me and dh.

ReindeerBollocks Mon 24-Jun-13 22:21:33

No!! I adore my mum and we get on great, but she was too worried about me and fussed too much, when I was in labour with DC1. With DC2 it was just me and DH.

If i was ever to have a third I'd be tempted to labour alone as i prefer to just get on with it.

My mum was amazing afterwards all lovely and sympathetic as well as proud (plus she makes good tea, unlike DH).

Kahlua4me Mon 24-Jun-13 22:24:09

I had my mum and dh with me for birth of ds. She was very supportive and looked after both of us.

With birth of dd, mum babysat for ds. I had to have elective Caesarian. She cared for ds and brought him in to meet dd.

ComtessedeFrouFrou Mon 24-Jun-13 22:24:49

Not in a million fucking years.

The order of preference would go:

DH not today as he's being really annoying
Friend who's done it twice
Me alone
Mum if she was gagged

CointreauVersial Mon 24-Jun-13 22:27:16

No no no no no.


wispa31 Mon 24-Jun-13 22:36:32

hell to the no!! not close to my mum for a start and for me and dp its a special time for us. we were sat having cupa tea in his kitchen (mils house) and talking about baby names etc and sil said she knew a consultant who had said to her the one person she would advise you bring is your bff, not your dp/h or your mum. dp replied 'no fucking way is anyone else going to see my child before me!' and thats pretty much my feelings too.
my only worry is that im moving over an hour away to live with dp before baby is due and therefore moving hospitals. my dad has already said mum would have liked for me to have baby down here but thats not practical with moving. im going to have to be careful about who is told what and when as she will feel hard done by and pushed out (her words not mine) if she isnt the first to be told/first to see dgc. in her head it will be because i prefer his people over her (ridiculous). im worried it will end up being a competition which i cant be arsed with any of that shit.

mirren3 Mon 24-Jun-13 22:40:21

For ds2 I only had mil there as dh was at the other end of the country, she was fab, no way would it have been my mum though.

scoutfinch1 Tue 25-Jun-13 00:44:06

No. I am very close to my mum and wouldn't be embarrassed by having her there however, I think it is a special time for me and DP and he is the only person I would want there. Luckily my mum completely agrees with me and wants to give us our space. My dad on the other hand wants to be sat outside the delivery room and hold the baby as soon as it's born. It's sweet that he is so excited but that's just not happening.

isabellamum Tue 25-Jun-13 06:51:01

My mum died 6 weeks before DD was born. She wanted to be there for me, but wasn't meant to be.

Those who say no - fair enough if you're 100% happy with your choice, everyone is different but be sure you wouldn't regret it if something happened

My DF on the other hand can't get away fast enough - he's booked a week abroad with his new OH... Around my due date for DC2


catwithflowers Tue 25-Jun-13 07:07:34

Yes at home, with DC 3. 'twas lovely :-)

agendabender Tue 25-Jun-13 08:17:57

My mum came to DS' birth uninvited. (I know, narc though, so I'm used to it) I would never have invited her.

DS was born at 33 weeks and immediately whisked away. I sent DH with him, and my mum being there then meant I had somebody who loved me with me at that incredibly difficult time, and to be my advocate when the doctor messed up my stitches.

I'm planning a home birth for DC2 and have invited my MIL, who is so supportive compared to my mum, and is wetting herself with excitement. I feel guilty that my mum barged into DS' birth and MIL couldn't.

agendabender Tue 25-Jun-13 08:19:10

By the way, I think birth is a family event, and would have lots of people there if it was practical! I think I'm in the minority there, though!

KingRollo Tue 25-Jun-13 08:23:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dawnywoo Tue 25-Jun-13 08:23:30


We get on great. Very close. Just wouldn't want her to be there.

nannyl Tue 25-Jun-13 09:05:38

not a chance.

i had a homebirth, I laboured by myself for all but the last 15min before dd popped out.

only 1 midwife made it, but this time (im now over due and waiting) i only want 1 midwife in the room (other can sit in next room 1 second away) assuming 2 have arrived.

and OH, and 21m DD if she is awake

therumoursaretrue Tue 25-Jun-13 10:45:50

KingRollo It's ridiculous to say that if someone chooses to have more than 1 birthing partner then their DP/DH is not 'good enough'.

largeginandtonic Tue 25-Jun-13 10:47:03

First 5 before I moved. Sad she missed the last 3.

carameldecaflatte Tue 25-Jun-13 10:49:16

Didn't even cross my mind but no, love mum dearly but she would have shredded my nerves and I would have worried about her more than me!

ben5 Tue 25-Jun-13 10:52:37

No I would of hated my mum being there. With ds1 it was just me, midwife and trainee midwife. dh navy and he was in Plymouth when I went into labour in Glasgow. My best friend missed it all by 5 minutes.
With ds2 my parents looked after ds1 while I had him.

HorraceTheOtter Tue 25-Jun-13 10:55:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catwithflowers Tue 25-Jun-13 18:38:07

KingRollo, what a silly generalisation hmm

Serialdrinker Tue 25-Jun-13 20:00:29

Nope, not for me and I adore my mum. Didn't tell her I was having the first, why worry someone over something likely to take hours? DH ringing saying 'hello grandma' is a moment neither will forget. Second she was on babysitting duties. However even if I'd wanted her she had already said 'don't you go calling me, I'd be a mess'- LOVE that woman. If I'd needed someone else/ instead it would have been sis or best mate. I would have hated for DH/ me to have had to share the first few hours as our own little family.

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