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Is this terrible?

(15 Posts)
kdinas Tue 16-May-06 20:50:49

Hi, I am pregnantwith my 4th. I have had one vaginal delivery, and two c-sections. I always gover by atleast two weeks, and so always end up being induced.
This time I have lied about my dates, and put them two weeks later. So far I have got away with it, and no-one has noticed.Is this a terrible thing I have done?
I always go over by two weeks, I don't think I am putting my baby's life at risk. I believe I am protecting her.

kdinas Tue 16-May-06 20:52:00

Gosh, don't know why I feel so guilty!

gothicmama Tue 16-May-06 20:52:58

youknow your body best i thought at 12 week scan they accurately tell teh dates becasue all babies develop at teh same rate so maybe they know what you are doing I think if you feel there is a prob you will seek help

tallmummy Tue 16-May-06 20:53:09

I think you should come clean. It really isn't worth putting your baby at risk. I've had 4 and the last pregnancy was quite different to the others. You can't know for sure you'll go over due this time.

MarsLady Tue 16-May-06 20:53:46

They'll check your scan dates and the size of the baby.

Just because you've been induced each time doesn't mean that you will this time. My first 2 were 4 days late and so I was convinced that number 3 would be also. In fact she was 4 days early. The DTs came early at 36 weeks.

I don't think it's terrible, but I wonder if it's worth the pretence. I can't tell you what to do, but personally I don't feel that you have much to gain.

gothicmama Tue 16-May-06 20:53:49

if you feel guilty perhaps you should confide in midwife your fears about being induced

LadyTophamHatt Tue 16-May-06 20:54:08

won't they correct your dates at a scan though?

beety Tue 16-May-06 20:57:30

it is a really difficult one and I think you will get both sides of the arguement here.

My mate went two weeks over, she was not induced, she agreed to go intothe hospital every day to check everything was ok but apart form that they left her alone.

Not sure why you need to lie, just be honest and stick to your guns.

However be very aware of the babys movement becasue of still birth.

RedZuleika Tue 16-May-06 20:58:31

I think it could create problems with scans, growth etc.

You could just tell the truth, refuse induction, ask for regular monitoring if you could over 42 weeks and wait for labour to start naturally. No one can force you to be induced. And isn't it risky after a Caesarean anyway...??

edam Tue 16-May-06 20:59:39

kdinas, 'normal' length of pregnancy is 38 to 42 weeks. Estimated due date is just that - an estimate. So going over by two weeks is entirely normal. I think you probably need to come clean and have a discussion with your midwife and the hospital team about this. No-one can make you have an induction - it's your body. Both legally and morally. But in terms of getting decent healthcare it's probably wiser to fess up (and as others have said, they'll probably work it out anyway).

kdinas Tue 16-May-06 21:01:34

Strangely enough, I had a 12 week scan, and the scanographer didn't say a word.
SHould I speak to the midwife and discuss my fears. They are very scary at this hospital which is why I felt the need to be so deceiptful.
A homebirth would be the answer to all my problems.
But the midwives have refused to support me, and I can't really afford to go private.
I feel so ashamed now.

RedZuleika Tue 16-May-06 21:07:42

You don't have to ask for their permission. You can just write to the Head of Midwifery telling her of your intention to birth at home and requesting that she provide you with properly trained staff.

It's your choice. It's just a question of how feisty you want to be.

pooka Tue 16-May-06 21:13:14

I suppose another problem might be if this babe is, say, 2 weeks early by your calculation as this would of course seem like a labour at 36 weeks (would that be classed as premature labour?)
It's a tough call.

roisin Tue 16-May-06 21:26:05

Are your cycles regular, and of average length (28 days)? Some people have longer cycles and ovulate later - so the traditional dating method of 40 wks from the first day of last period isn't accurate for them. Does this make sense?

edam Tue 16-May-06 22:10:19

kdinas, think it would be worth your while seeking some support on this one. Have you spoken to the NCT (National Childbirth Trust)? Or Birth Crisis – they help women who have had traumatic labours? I can see this must be very difficult if you feel you can't trust the staff at the hospital. So an outside organisation which can support you might be very helpful.

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