Going home quickly(38 Posts)
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
With DC1 - he was born at 4.03pm, I was home at 8.25pm. We left about 7.30pm (drive home is about an hour).
Just to add to my earlier comment and follow up on something Viva said. I wasn't suggesting that it was a great idea to storm out before all the paperwork and sorry if that wasn't 100% clear. But I think it can help to know that, if you are there, it is because you have made the choice to wait. It can ease the frustration if you are hanging about waiting for a sign off or whatever to know that you are there because you have decided it is the best thing, not because you are being held hostage!
Friend was out in 3 hours - but the hospital was extremely busy, to the extent they'd only let her go there (rather than the local hellhole anyone with a brain seeks to avoid) based on the fact her previous delivery was straightforward and did the discharge straight from labour suite.
Muggins of course HAD to stay in as they only weigh prem babies on set days - until I tried to flutter my eyelashes at a doctor who was happy for us to go home... but then I made the mistake of mentioning "does she look a little jaundiced to you" - bam two days under the treatment lights. By this point I'd drummed up so much mutiny over the compulsory curtain yanking back on the post-natal ward to "get you ladies to bond and share experiences" (I was only doing what they asked - bonding based on us all wanting our curtains drawn shut again and sharing the experience that having bed curtains randomly yanked open when you were in the middle of god-knows-what was shit) that they found me a side room to cause less mischief in!
I HATE post-natal wards - they're the ultimate proof that you won't have this instant bond with women who just happened to squeeze a baby out at the same time as you... later proved by baby groups, school year group cohorts etc.
I had a home birth and private midwife. I needed some stitches, which the MW thought would probably be better if done by a doctor under bright lights than in my dim bedroom with her headtorch, and went to hospital for them. My baby wasn't even admitted, although stayed with me.
Due to the opinions of the recently qualified house officer who was tasked with observing my wee I had to fight my corner extremely strongly to get out of there! His argument was that hospital was with best place for a new mother as there were people there to look after me. He was oblivious to the fact that I had been asking to see someone who could discharge me for 8 hours but that they were all busy. At home I had my husband, midwife, mother and best friend waiting for me. I know where I had a better chance of being looked after!
Anyway, if you want to ensure a quick getaway, make sure you are aware of your rights, and be ready to push for it, and have back up who will also push for it. Most people seem to be able to escape quickly, but some hospitals have a script and don't like it if you don't stick to it.
I had my first dc last month and was out after 9 hours, I did have to push for it though as it was a 30 hour labour with episiotomy and ventouse and they had expected me to want to stay overnight.
Gave birth at 1am, was packed and ready to leave by 9am but they wouldn't let me go until he'd been checked over by the paediatrician. This was DC2, completely different for DC1, we were kept in for 3 nights.
You'll know what's right for you once you've given birth.
dc2, very uncomplicated, went into hospital at 10cm dilated, pushed abit, Ds born 15mins later at 3.09pm, was sat at my dinner table at home with a Chinese takeaway and the in-laws at 7pm.... very surreal!
I later found out the ward was very busy and they didn't really have room for me.... so Im guessing that's why they let me out so quickly!!
But if a baby wasn't feeding well or there was any cause for concern you wouldn't be "allowed" (insofar as they can allow you or not) to go home early anyway. Plus this thread is very specifically about second babies where the parents will have experience of babies.
In the vanishingly unlikely event that I had DC4 I would want to stay in overnight if I were in the hospital where I had DCs 1-3. If I were in the other local hospital that we're "in catchment" for I would want to get home ASAP.
I would like to point out that not all hospitals are the terrible places that most of you seem to think. When DD was born she wasn't interested in feeding at all. Her blood sugar plummeted and she went very drowsy. If we hadn't been in hospital I dread to think what would have happened.
It took several days to establish breast feeding and the midwives at the hospital were so supportive. We were in for 5 days in the end. In hospital I felt safe and looked after. At home there was just me and OH, neither of us knowing anything about babies.
I would suggest you keep an open mind. That way you won't feel as disappointed if things don't go exactly to plan.
I thought leaving with the baby without permission was liable to land you with a visit from ss?
Anyway, have a straightforward birth, pee afterwards, have a baby who doesn't need obs and then confidently day you want to go home please.
On my second day in dh refused to leave at the end if visiting because they'd said I was fit to leave and they were just sortingpaper work 4 hours earlier. I got out half an hour later.
(I had to promise to bring DC2 back to hospital at 3 days old for newborn check from paediatrician)
My daughter still remembers coming into hospital to meet the baby!
I was home within 6 hours with DC2, discharged straight from the delivery suite - and could have been home even sooner if we'd had the carseat in the car, but DH had to go home and get it. With DC3 I had to stay in 24 hours because there had been meconium in my waters; I'd expected to hate that as I'd loved being home early the previous time but actually it was quite restful.
When I did go home early with DC2, DC1 was quite cross. His "so you're getting a new baby sibling" books had all shown the big brother visiting the mother/baby in hospital and he felt cheated out of that (it clearly still rankled with him by the time DC3 arrived three years later, because he was very specific about wanting to come and visit this time).
Wouldbe, where I work we'd recommend you have a drip for 4 hours after delivery due to previous pph. But after that there'd be no reason to stay. Find out if your local hospital will want you to have this or not.
I get the poin t made earlier that no one can make you stay. So technically you could leave 5 mins after your placenta has come out.
However it's best to wait till paperwork is done and ime that can take a couple of hours.
with my 2nd I was home within 6 hours, on reflection, I should have stayed in! With the grandparents decending, a very excited but tired 3 year old, a lazy husband and not to mention a new baby within 3 hours I just wanted to curl up and cry!! Of course I carried on, but with this one, I am and have made the concious decision that even though my partner is very helpful and supportive I am doing what the hospital suggest. If that means stay in over night then that is what I will do
I hated every minute in hospital but wasn't confident on taking DD home on the same day (it was offered at the time) as she was my first baby so we spent 2 miserable nights there trying to establish feeding before discharging myself. Got a lot more help from my own midwife when i got home.
Second time around i was told that DS would have to be born by midday to have a same-day discharge. I'd only arrived at hospital at 7.40am so wasn't very optimistic but 3 hours later he'd arrived and i was home approx. 6 hours after that.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
It depends on the time of day, I find. With dc3 I was able to leave in under 4 hrs because he was born in the afternoon, and they were able to get the papers all finished before handover, but dc2 I spent the night because she was born late at night so had to be checked and discharged in the morning.
There's no pre- requisite to to stay overnight, plus they like to send you home if possible as it frees up the beds!
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Firstly, unless you are held under mental health legislation, no one can 'make' you do anything.
You can choose to go whenever you wish. Most people like to wait for the paed check, etc, in which case it kind of depends what time you give birth and where the staff are.
I had DD1 at 4am, instrumental birth. I was still home by 7pm. DH spoke to the ward sister (not accepting the response of the locum midwife that I had to stay in), who in a busy London hospital was keen to free up a bed. She arranged the necessary checks to get us out ASAP.
I wanted (and was promised) a 6 hour discharge with DC2. I was moved the the mat ward less than an hour after giving birth as all was straight forward and I was mobile. Big mistake! I had to wait for the über busy midwife to "process" me for discharge. I was in 24hours post natal. Hated it.
If I were to have another baby I'd refuse to be admitted to mat ward.
I hated every minute in the hospital ward before and after DD1s birth.
The labour room was fine, but the lack of privacy and feeling I was being judged everywhere else was horrible.
I lied that DD1 had BF by day 3 and left.
DD2 was born at home
I gave birth at 4pm and could have gone home a couple of hours later ( but was told I was also welcome tostay if I wanted to) . I wanted to have one night alone to breastfeed and bomd with my new baby without having to worry about upsetting my toddler who I knew would be all over me if I went home.
I was also sore, bleeding a lot, tired and didn't particularly want to move.
I had one of the best night's of my life in hospital that night- on a high, cuddling and feeding a baby who refused to sleep!
I had DD at 8-40pm , and was home by 11pm
The Doctor called at the house the following day to check her , she was my second baby , and I had my Mum ( as well as DH ) to care for me at home .
Just practise saying ' can I go home now , I'm feeling very well '
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