Going home quickly(38 Posts)
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I was home within 6 hours with DC2, discharged straight from the delivery suite - and could have been home even sooner if we'd had the carseat in the car, but DH had to go home and get it. With DC3 I had to stay in 24 hours because there had been meconium in my waters; I'd expected to hate that as I'd loved being home early the previous time but actually it was quite restful.
When I did go home early with DC2, DC1 was quite cross. His "so you're getting a new baby sibling" books had all shown the big brother visiting the mother/baby in hospital and he felt cheated out of that (it clearly still rankled with him by the time DC3 arrived three years later, because he was very specific about wanting to come and visit this time).
My daughter still remembers coming into hospital to meet the baby!
(I had to promise to bring DC2 back to hospital at 3 days old for newborn check from paediatrician)
I thought leaving with the baby without permission was liable to land you with a visit from ss?
Anyway, have a straightforward birth, pee afterwards, have a baby who doesn't need obs and then confidently day you want to go home please.
On my second day in dh refused to leave at the end if visiting because they'd said I was fit to leave and they were just sortingpaper work 4 hours earlier. I got out half an hour later.
I would like to point out that not all hospitals are the terrible places that most of you seem to think. When DD was born she wasn't interested in feeding at all. Her blood sugar plummeted and she went very drowsy. If we hadn't been in hospital I dread to think what would have happened.
It took several days to establish breast feeding and the midwives at the hospital were so supportive. We were in for 5 days in the end. In hospital I felt safe and looked after. At home there was just me and OH, neither of us knowing anything about babies.
I would suggest you keep an open mind. That way you won't feel as disappointed if things don't go exactly to plan.
But if a baby wasn't feeding well or there was any cause for concern you wouldn't be "allowed" (insofar as they can allow you or not) to go home early anyway. Plus this thread is very specifically about second babies where the parents will have experience of babies.
In the vanishingly unlikely event that I had DC4 I would want to stay in overnight if I were in the hospital where I had DCs 1-3. If I were in the other local hospital that we're "in catchment" for I would want to get home ASAP.
dc2, very uncomplicated, went into hospital at 10cm dilated, pushed abit, Ds born 15mins later at 3.09pm, was sat at my dinner table at home with a Chinese takeaway and the in-laws at 7pm.... very surreal!
I later found out the ward was very busy and they didn't really have room for me.... so Im guessing that's why they let me out so quickly!!
Gave birth at 1am, was packed and ready to leave by 9am but they wouldn't let me go until he'd been checked over by the paediatrician. This was DC2, completely different for DC1, we were kept in for 3 nights.
You'll know what's right for you once you've given birth.
I had my first dc last month and was out after 9 hours, I did have to push for it though as it was a 30 hour labour with episiotomy and ventouse and they had expected me to want to stay overnight.
I had a home birth and private midwife. I needed some stitches, which the MW thought would probably be better if done by a doctor under bright lights than in my dim bedroom with her headtorch, and went to hospital for them. My baby wasn't even admitted, although stayed with me.
Due to the opinions of the recently qualified house officer who was tasked with observing my wee I had to fight my corner extremely strongly to get out of there! His argument was that hospital was with best place for a new mother as there were people there to look after me. He was oblivious to the fact that I had been asking to see someone who could discharge me for 8 hours but that they were all busy. At home I had my husband, midwife, mother and best friend waiting for me. I know where I had a better chance of being looked after!
Anyway, if you want to ensure a quick getaway, make sure you are aware of your rights, and be ready to push for it, and have back up who will also push for it. Most people seem to be able to escape quickly, but some hospitals have a script and don't like it if you don't stick to it.
Friend was out in 3 hours - but the hospital was extremely busy, to the extent they'd only let her go there (rather than the local hellhole anyone with a brain seeks to avoid) based on the fact her previous delivery was straightforward and did the discharge straight from labour suite.
Muggins of course HAD to stay in as they only weigh prem babies on set days - until I tried to flutter my eyelashes at a doctor who was happy for us to go home... but then I made the mistake of mentioning "does she look a little jaundiced to you" - bam two days under the treatment lights. By this point I'd drummed up so much mutiny over the compulsory curtain yanking back on the post-natal ward to "get you ladies to bond and share experiences" (I was only doing what they asked - bonding based on us all wanting our curtains drawn shut again and sharing the experience that having bed curtains randomly yanked open when you were in the middle of god-knows-what was shit) that they found me a side room to cause less mischief in!
I HATE post-natal wards - they're the ultimate proof that you won't have this instant bond with women who just happened to squeeze a baby out at the same time as you... later proved by baby groups, school year group cohorts etc.
Just to add to my earlier comment and follow up on something Viva said. I wasn't suggesting that it was a great idea to storm out before all the paperwork and sorry if that wasn't 100% clear. But I think it can help to know that, if you are there, it is because you have made the choice to wait. It can ease the frustration if you are hanging about waiting for a sign off or whatever to know that you are there because you have decided it is the best thing, not because you are being held hostage!
With DC1 - he was born at 4.03pm, I was home at 8.25pm. We left about 7.30pm (drive home is about an hour).
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