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anyone considering a home birth?

(32 Posts)
barbben Fri 12-Apr-13 20:03:35

i'm curious what is the reaction you get from you family and friends?

thepartysover Fri 12-Apr-13 20:20:20

My MIL referred to it as 'a bit of a fad' before I said I'd like one... I pointed out that I'll get a better standard of care at home (2 dedicated midwives, continuity of care during antenatal appointments) and she mellowed after that. My own family love the idea!

MrsJLS85 Sat 13-Apr-13 08:33:54

I'm considering one, and my friends are all very supportive, but I'm not telling family. All family live hours and hours away and would only "worry" about what could go wrong in a home birth. None will be present for the birth so I'll tell them after the fact smile

sweetiepie1979 Sat 13-Apr-13 08:39:50

I had one disaster baby was fine in still suffering from consequences 19 months later. For your first u wouldn't everyone tried to tell me not to and I did what a mistake! Yes you get 2 midwives attention but ine is there most. Of the time and if she is t very good or young and not able to spot trouble then disaster. In hospital you have all the care of staff they help each other back each other can douple triple check etc. I really advise against x

beccake Sat 13-Apr-13 08:40:45

Most family and some friends were concerned, what happens if you need stictches, baby needs help, what about pain relief etc, when I explained there would two midwives, the less likely need for intervention as you are more relaxed at home,I found that the more research and information you could gain and tell people they relaxed about it.

I had my DS at a midwife led unit, (sadly now closed) a home birth was not really much different. I had my DD at home 3 weeks ago, I needed some stictches which one midwife didwhilst the other did newborn checks. We would not have got to the local birth Center. My labour ended up very quick despite her being back to back.

Shagmundfreud Sat 13-Apr-13 15:29:44

My mother's response was - 'can't you have a planned c-section'. grin

Had home birth.

Best thing I've ever done.

SchroSawMargeryDaw Sat 13-Apr-13 15:32:28

I'm booked with the HB MWs. smile

The family that I have told have been fine with it, only because I had a horrible hospital birth with DS though.

The friends I have told think I am mad and that women need to be in hospital to birth.

littleducks Sat 13-Apr-13 15:33:06

I had an unplanned homebirth with ds (had planned to use same birth centre as dd but quick labour). It was fine. Everybody seems to think I should consider a planned homebirth this time, to actually have a MW present. Apart from a hospital MW who thought I should just get in the car and drive quickly shock an unplanned, unassisted birth in the back of the car is my worst nightmare!

GrasshopperNchipmunk Sat 13-Apr-13 15:55:03

I had an unplanned homebirth too, which of course could've been a disaster, but was actually very lovely and peaceful. The only downside was that we had to go in to hospital straight after anyway for stitches which was a right pain.

If there is a next time I be tempted to plan a homebirth.

xigris Sat 13-Apr-13 16:15:28

I had DS1 in hospital then DS2&3 (not twins!) at home in a birth pool. All 3 births were easy and straightforward. I loved being at home as it meant no journey in labour and no drive home wincing at all the bumps (I had 2 second degree tears). Having them at home also meant I could have a decent cup of tea afterwards! I was encouraged by my midwives and obstetrician to have a HB. I wouldn't have had HBs against their advice. If we win the lottery have anymore children, then I'd always want to try for a HB.

xigris Sat 13-Apr-13 16:23:23

Sorry! Had to write that post in stages thanks to said 3xDSs and DH wittering about steam cleaners (?!). Realise I totally didn't answer your question! Most people were very positive about our plans for a HB; we got the occasional 'what about the mess / pain / an emergency' but nothing particularly negative. The birth pool tool care of the mess, you can have gas and air at home (lovely!) and as for an emergency, well, we're not far from two major hospitals plus I had total confidence in my brilliant NHS midwife. My first birth (in hospital) was totally straightforward so I too was confident which I think helps. I have a medical background so my family were happy with the fact I'd made an informed decision. DH was a bit sceptical at first (non medical) but once he'd had a chat with the midwives and done a bit of googling he was quite happy. In our experience, HB is lovely for the Dad as they feel more involved as they can bustle about boiling kettles and making tea etc. Best of luck with whatever you decide! smile

ifmamaainthappy Sat 13-Apr-13 16:35:20

I had my 3rd at the age of 40 at home, no pain relief just a very relaxed lovely delivery, they weren't over keen on me doing it to start but i stuck to 'MY birth plan' with my elder son being 14 at the time, it was fantastic, got the washing pegged out, loads of cleaning done so no mess to come home to grin

Notmyidea Sat 13-Apr-13 17:41:29

I know some family and friends have concerns, but as I'm on baby number 3 they are politely keeping them to themselves. I have one, lovely friend who has also done the home birth against medical advice thing and she is wonderful. I'm able to talk to her freely.

Quilty Sat 13-Apr-13 18:58:43

Planning a home birth for first baby, to me it just makes sense, I gave it a lot of thought and don't want anyone to put me off however well intended. I honestly don't know how friends/family would react so I've decided to just let them assume we'll be going to hospital. Obviously this may still happen if that's what's needed but if baby is born at home as I'm hoping for then I'll tell everyone when it's happened!

megarobotdiscoparty Sat 13-Apr-13 20:00:56

Same as Quilty, have planned HB for our first and not shouting about it. Feeling prepared, focused and ready to give it a good go but aware that negative comments from family may put me off my stride. Quite realistic about being transferred into hospital anyway (live five minutes away from a major one), so looking at it more as being able to labour at home for as long as possible with midwife support. HBs are really encouraged for low risk pgs where we live, as the big hospital has a crazy busy maternity unit.

flaminghoopsaloohlah Sat 13-Apr-13 20:56:33

Yes I am. Grandmother-in-law thinks Im too old and is very surprised the NHS is "letting" me...frankly I dont give a toss about anyone else...as long as Im confident and DP is confident thats all that matters...plus I went very quickly with 1st baby after a long latent phase and I do not want to risk an unassisted riad birth.

Flisspaps Sat 13-Apr-13 21:20:40

I planned a homebirth for both of mine. DD ended up being an induction in hospital and DS was a transfer in after 25 hours of labour.

I am very pleased that I planned homebirths for both. With DS people thought I was particularly bonkers as it was against medical advice (I had various issues during the third stage of DD's birth) but I planned it with the help of the Supervisors of Midwives and they were fab. It didn't feel like a wasted effort despite me transferring in because the fat bugger wasn't moving!

I'd plan for it, and sod what people say. Don't tell them if you don't want to - people see it as risky (when it's shown to be as safe as hospital birth for second or subsequent babies, and only slightly more risky than a hospital birth for a first baby) because it's not the norm. Things can still go wrong in a hospital or MLU, and just because you're on site, doesn't mean that there's someone there to get the help you need to you quickly (eg if MW is with someone else, or if the only OT is in use)

RhinestoneCowgirl Sat 13-Apr-13 21:27:19

I had homebirth for both my babies. Both straightforward and born at home.

My mum was pretty supportive as she had a homebirth with my younger brother. Hers wasn't exactly planned, she had ruled out homebirth at the time due to not having central heating in our house (I don't really understand that bit). But my brother had ideas and she went from feeling a bit odd whilst cooking tea, to my brother being born about an hour later. In the company of GP and midwife, with paramedics standing by.

Friends I tended not to discuss with, as some people have fairly strong feelings about it. I got a lot of 'you're brave', which I'm really not. My main reason for choosing homebirth was the care/attention that you get from one midwife (and there are two when it gets to the end).

TerrysNo2 Sat 13-Apr-13 21:36:01

I think you should listen to all the concerns of friends and family and then see if you can get comfortable with the risks and stand confidently behind your decision. Or local hospital had a home birth information day which was really helpful for this.

My main concern was, what if something goes wrong and we made the decision to go for it as we are only a 5 minute drive from the hospital.

With DS I was transferred in but with DD 3 years later I had a wonderful home birth and I loved every minute.

olivertheoctopus Sat 13-Apr-13 21:46:19

Yep, seriously considering for DS3 due in July. Horrid induction with DS1 inc woeful tale of epidurals, hours of labour, ventouse grade 3 mec, NICU, SCBU... Whereas DS2 kinda fell out 10 mins after arriving at hosp and made me realise that childbirth did not necess have to be fucking hideous. Want HB this time as only live 5 mins drive from hosp. Everyone supportive apart from my sister WHO IS A BLOODY MIDWIFE. Sigh.

SneakyBiscuitEater Sat 13-Apr-13 22:24:13

My DHs Step Grandmother thought we were 'very silly' for even considering a home birth for DC2. This was after I had an unplanned home birth with DC1 who was born in under 2 hours. Because StepGM who is in her late eighties used to be a midwife in the fecking dark ages so then Step Mum was also dead against it. I tried to explain that being about an hour away from the hospital and having to do the mechanics of getting someone to look after DC1 meant we would be likely to deliver DC2 in the back of the car, but that was not compelling for the two ladies. Their simple answer was that I should be admitted and induced early to make sure I was in hospital fuckers .

In the end I had a wonderful planned home birth with DC2 but she was born before arrival in just over 40 minutes. We rang the midwife back and she had just got our of the shower and not even put her uniform on when we told her no rush, DC2 is here, pink and wriggly and feeding well.

I planned another home birth for DC3 but ended up being induced in hospital at 38weeks having been an in patient for almost 2 months for multiple pulmonary embolisms or is it emboli? So at last I was to have a proper birth. Ha ha well fuck your high risk and constant monitoring... I had DC3 after a total of 4 contractions with one midwife saying in a bored voice from the other side of the room that I wasn't even in established labour yet.

as an aside when I was about 10 weeks pg with DC3 we attended a family do where said SM and SGM were present and they both cornered me and said that I had been very foolish to have a second DC and thank goodness I wouldn't be having any more. I took great delight sharing our happy news following the scan two weeks later.

jumpinghoops Sat 13-Apr-13 22:47:14

I hope I get my home birth, am currently 40+1 and have just spent the day on the delivery suite for monitoring which has reminded me how much I hate it there! This is my DC2, the antenatal care I've received from my home birth team has been amazing, they all seem to love their job and want to take time to make sure all is going well for you.

seriouscakeeater Sun 14-Apr-13 00:25:08

I really wanted one due the fact of better standard of care of midwifes present, just me to focus on but DH is adamant its a no go after watching a really bad birth on OBEM.

tbf its prob for the best as MIL would be forcing her way in and trying to grab a leg ect..

DragonMamma Sun 14-Apr-13 08:45:13

I had a home water birth with dc2 - my dh was fully supportive and my dm really pushed me to have one as she had missed out with dsis as she had gestational diabetes.

I ended up with 4 mws for delivery. He arrived at 9am which was the changeover of shifts so there was lots of care going on. I'd never have a hospital birth again, the postnatal ward is hell on earth - I liked showering in my own shower, getting in my own bed and dh did a great job of clearing the pool away, you'd never have known there's been a birth a couple of hours earlier!

Yorky Sun 14-Apr-13 08:57:15

I had all my 4 at home smile and am sad that I won't get to do it again.

As for the 2 dedicated MWs, only for number 3 was the 2nd MW there for any time - baby 1 MW2 arrived, then went to get something from her car and when she came back in he'd been born! baby2 MW1 had a student with her so never had a 2nd qualified MW at all, baby 4 had the placenta arrived a few minutes earlier MW1 would have rung to say its all over, she arrivbed in time for a cup of tea and a slice of cake!

Also, where you give birth won't impact on continuity of care during pg - I only saw one lovely MW for all my ante-natal appts this time, but she wasn't on call when baby decided it was time so I had 2 strangers.
The best was during pg2 when I chose the local drop-in clinic over actual appts so I had met all the community team before labour started.

I didn't advertise that I wanted a homebirth widely before number 1 so didn't get much resistance, MWs and DH were happy and I wasn't too bothered what everyone else thought. Then once I'd done it no-one was surprised the next time.

Good luck with whatever you choose

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